Letter to the Daily Universe

My roommate Matt wrote this awesome letter to The Daily Universe last year (scroll down to the heading “Message for Sisters” to read his letter), and garnered some incredibly hilarious responses from the BYU community. He struck a tightly strung chord in this community, something that everyone here at BYU spends a lot of time thinking about: dating.

Well, I figured that I have something I’d like to say on this subject, so earlier this week I drafted a letter of my own. I haven’t actually looked at the submission guidelines for letters to the editor, so I’ll probably have to shorten this quite a bit, but I wanted to post the full version here in case anyone’s interested. Enjoy!

When girls complain that they don’t get asked out on dates, we are quick to find fault with the guys and slow find fault with the girls.I believe this is a mistake.While it is true that a lot of the stinging criticism leveled at the guys is true and valid, there are many things that the girls do to turn off potential admirers.With regards to that, here are five general principles for dating that I believe every girl at BYU should know and follow:

1.Everyone is worth a first date.

Of all of Elder Oak’s dating counsel, the point we ignore the most is that a first date is not a big deal.Relax.Have fun.Give it a chance.How do you know that it can’t work out?And even if it probably won’t, at least it’s a great learning opportunity.No one is too far beneath you for a first date.

2.If you turn down a first or second date, no matter the excuse, it says “I’m not interested in dating you.”

Ambiguity is more painful than rejection.Even if your excuse is legitimate, guys will assume the worst.They may ask you out again, after some time, but they will be much slower to do so.On the other hand, if you want to communicate disinterest, turning down a second date is the polite way to do it.

3.If a guy asks you on a date and the time does not work for you, the way to say no without communicating complete lack of interest is to suggest an alternative time and activity.

If you have an honest scheduling conflict but are interested in dating him, do this and you erase the painful ambiguity that makes him reluctant to ask you out again.Besides, it is polite and very classy.

4.Backing out of a date at the last minute not only says “don’t date me,” it is inconceivably rude and extremely unattractive.

Guys step up to the plate by taking the initiative; girls step up to the plate by following through.If you are guilty of backing out after saying yes, you have absolutely no right to complain that guys don’t ask you out enough.Quite frankly, you are getting what you asked for.

If something genuinely does come up and you must cancel at the last minute, remember principle three.Show by your actions that you are not flaking out just because you got cold feet.

5.If you rudely turn down one guy, others will hear about it.

Guys are not as aloof as you think.We have our social networks and we talk with our friends about our dating experiences just as much as you do.Keep that in mind when someone out of left field asks you out.The word gets around.

Please know that I don’t mean to blame the girls at BYU for not getting asked out.Too many guys at this university aren’t man enough to step up to the plate.At the same time, the girls are not beyond the need for repentance.I’ve found, in my experience, that these five principles work, and I sincerely believe that if every girl in this university followed them, not only would we all date more, but we would all have a lot more fun.

New job!

This past week I just started a new job at BYU.  I’m a writing advisor for the FHSS (Family of Home and Social Sciences) writing lab.  It’s GREAT!  I help students work on their papers and work on their writing skills, and I really love it.

How I got this job is an interesting story.  Honestly, it was really just a series of flukes that ended up working beautifully.  I was just in the right time at the right place and fell into it.

It began when I went to the BYU Bookstore to talk with my old boss in the stockroom and figure out all the paperwork for getting rehired.  I’d talked with him at the end of the winter semester, and he knew my schedule and had told me that everything was fine for me to work in the fall–we just had to fill out the paperwork and go through the formalities.

Well…long story short, when we finally got into the rehiring interview and I told him that I could only work MWF, his face dropped and he gave me a card with a number on it to call and check on my job application the next day.  He said that he wasn’t sure if they had a place for me because I couldn’t work TTh, but that he’d try.

It wasn’t hard to see, though, that I wasn’t going to get rehired.

Here’s a funny thing.  I tend to get really worked up and angry over little things, like slow drivers or computers that don’t work or paperwork that I didn’t know I had to fill out.  But when it comes to major things–like my old boss dropping the ball, leaving me without a job–I’m really mellow about it.  Even though I needed money and didn’t know what I’d do without a job, I figured that this had happened for a reason and that everything would work out in the end.

It did.  I was walking through the Wilk on my way home one day and decided to check the job boards.  I skipped over all the custodial and dining jobs (those are dead ends anyways) and looked at the academic ones.

Usually when I look at these jobs, I feel that I’m much too underqualified.  However, as I was skimming over them, my eye fell on the ad for being a writing advisor.  I love writing, so I decided to read a little more closely.  To my surprise, as I read over the qualifications, I found that I met almost all of them.

I picked up an application, selected some writing samples, and wrote a cover letter.  I was a little bit worried because I spent so much time talking about my experience as Quark writing VP, since that’s a non-academic setting, but that ended up being one of my most attractive selling points.  When they asked me what my greatest weakness was, I said “procrastination,” but then I was able to turn around and say “but I set a goal to write a novel last year and achieved it” through consistent, daily writing.  Even though the advisor position is for academic writing only, my experiences with creative writing made me look surprisingly attractive.

The thing that sealed me the job was my schedule.  They needed MWF and practically all my classes are TTh.  So not only were they excited because of my qualifications, they were excited because I was available when they needed it.  Getting the job wasn’t that hard from there.

So now I’m a writing advisor, and I LOVE it!  I sit around the lab, chatting and hanging out with all the other cool people who work there, and every once and a while an MFHD or Psychology major comes in with a paper and we look over it. Good people, low-stress work environment, work that I actually love doing, really good pay for an on-campus job, and best of all, it’s the kind of job that looks REALLY good on a resume.  This has got to be the best job I’ve landed since I came here at BYU.  I’m so happy and thankful that things worked out the way they did!

On My Way to Paradise by Dave Wolverton

n17823603_36079523_8117Senior Angelo Osic is a doctor in one of the refugee flooded neighborhoods of Panama.  The United Socialist States of South America has launched a new war in its efforts to reshape the human race into something purer, but all of that is far away from the life Angelo lives–until an emaciated woman with a bloody stump at the end of her arm shows up and demands him to grow her a new one.

Events rapidly spin out of his control, and Angelo flees on the first spaceship leaving earth–a mercenary transport taking hundreds of superhuman warriors to fight in a bloody planet-wide war among Japanese colonists.  As he tries desperately to evade socialist assassins, he makes friends among the mercenaries on the spaceship–as well as deadly enemies.  In the eerily realistic virtual reality world of the training simulators, Angelo dies a hundred times and slowly becomes desensitized to killing.

As the ship reaches its final destination–a world awash in a genocidal bloodbath–and Angelo’s enemies finally start to catch up with him, how will he maintain his humanity?  Will he ever be able to feel love and compassion again–or will he become the monster he fears the world is making him?

This book is violent.  It is violent and gritty. Rape, murder, assassination, brutal disfiguration and torture, graphic battle scenes and massive acts of genocide–it’s all in there. That said, the book is not about the violence–it’s about moral dilemmas, how we respond to injustice, and how we can maintain our humanity in the face of the most horrific evil this world can see.

Unlike a lot of cyberpunk, Angelo wants to be good–he desperately wants to be an upright, moral person–but time and again he finds himself in situations where he cannot avoid getting his hands bloody, sometimes up to his elbows.  How he responds to this evil, and how he endures it without becoming evil himself, is where the story has its meat.

On My Way to Paradise is a book that makes you think, and after you put it down, you can’t put it out of your mind.  It’s a book that has the power to change your life and how you see the world.

I found it by listening to it as a free audiobook on a podcast that podfaded shortly after, so I only caught the first seven chapters.  For the next year and a half, the story haunted me–I could not forget about it, or about the dilemmas and issues it raised.  I hunted all the bookstores for it, but sadly it’s been out of print for over a decade.  When I finally did find out that Pioneer Book had a copy in their warehouse, I ordered it and finished it a week or two later.  If I regret anything, it’s that I didn’t order it sooner.

This is honestly one of the best books I’ve read.  It is a masterpiece.  I’ve rarely read anything so real and down to earth, anything that resonates as truth so deeply.  It’s definitely not for everybody, but this book is incredible.  I’ve rarely read anythings so powerful–or so meaningful.

Momo by Michael Ende

[I originally wrote this book review in 2006.  However, Momo was such a good book that I wanted to include it here on this blog.]

I was browsing around at Pioneer Book in downtown Provo a few weeks ago when I saw this book. Michael Ende wrote The Neverending Story, which was my all-time favorite children’s book, and so I was really excited to see that he wrote this one. When I read it, I wasn’t disappointed.

Momo tells the story of a girl (named Momo) who has the uncanny ability to listen to people. People who have problems, don’t know what they should do, or are generally depressed come to talk with her. Because she’s such a great listener, she helps the people see things about themselves that they couldn’t see before, and helps them find out what they need to do with their lives. In this way, she becomes a friend to everyone and helps many people work out their problems.

Momo lives by herself in some ancient ruins (an awesome place to live, from a kid’s perspective! Kind of like having a tree house as a permanent residence), and she’s supported by her friends from the town, who frequently come to visit her.

The problems begin when these gray businessmen start going around town trying to get people to deposit their time in a timesaving bank. Don’t ask me how it works, that’s part of the fantasy. Basically, these men (who mysteriously know everything about just about everyone) convince people to work really hard so that they can save time, and by doing this, they will have a lot more time sometime in the future. However, the grey men are really these fantastical monsters who exist on stolen time, and their goal is to take all of the time from all of the people in the world. As they do this, the people become more and more miserable because they have less and less time for each other.

Momo recognizes the problem when she finds out that her friends aren’t coming by to visit her anymore. One of the grey men comes to Momo to steal her time, but she’s so good at listening that he ends up telling her who the grey people really are. Momo and her two best friends, as well as a whole bunch of abandoned children, try to find a way to stop the grey people, but it isn’t until Momo finds Never Lane and the source of time itself that she defeats the grey men and rescues all of the people.

I really loved the way this story was written. It was written like a really good children’s book–the kind that doesn’t condescend to children by assuming that they only have a very limited command of the English language. And as far as storytelling goes, this book was very well written. There were chapters that just really gave me this good feeling, like I had just experienced something really worth experiencing. I can see myself reading this book to my kids someday.

As far as the message is concerned, it’s fairly easy to tell that there are a lot of symbols and metaphors in the story. It’s not very preachy, though, which is good. I wish I’d read this story five or ten years ago, because I think I’d have understood the message better. Back then, I really loved reading stories that had deep meaning, and I was really good at picking the meaning out. Now, I guess I’m just older and too saturated with college studies for it to really sink in.

Which gets to the part about the grey men. If I were a character in this book, I wonder if I’d be one of the people who sells out to the grey men. But at the same time, I don’t regret being busy. I’m VERY busy all the time (especially this spring, with Poli Sci 200 giving me a major beating ). There are days where I wake up at 6:00 am and I don’t stop running from one place to the next until the evening. Sometimes, it’s true, I let the world around me just sweep me around and control my life. But I don’t think that things would be much better if I just cut out all the things that I’m doing.

I was home this time last year, not working or taking classes–I didn’t really have any responsibilities at all. And I was miserable. I felt like I wasn’t being productive enough, and I looked forward to coming out to BYU for the summer term because then I’d have something to do. Now that I’ve been really busy for a year, I’ve found that I really like it. It’s good to have a lot of challenging projects and responsibilities. I’m doing what I love and even though it can be difficult, I’m having a lot of fun. Work hard and play hard.

My sister Kate sometimes has problems with being overworked or underworked. When she’s busy, she’s so busy that it makes her anxious and she feels overstressed. We tend to fight a lot when that happens. So then, she takes time off to try and recharge, but she gets anxious because she feels that she’s unproductive. So then she fills up her schedule with things to do, until she’s overstressed again.

I think that the problem isn’t a matter of whether or not you’re always busy, so much as what you make time for. The people in the book got to the point where they figured that good things were something they’d only have time for sometime in the future, so they spent all their time doing menial things, and ignored their friends, families, and anything that was fun or enjoyable.

Life should be kind of like a car battery–once you’re up and doing something, it recharges itself. If I were only busy with things that drained me, I’d go crazy. It would just feel wrong, and I would make some major changes in my life. But if I actually enjoyed all of the things I was doing, and am doing, right now, I would know that things are working the way they should.

And ultimately, I think that that’s the message that Ende was trying to get out. Enjoy your life right now, where you are, and make time for the people around you.

So yeah, if you want to read a really awesome (and apparently very rare) book, check out Momo…if you can find it. Good luck! If you’re like me, and you like going places where you can be surrounded by large stacks of old, work, dusty books, maybe you’ll find a copy. Or maybe you’ll find something better. I’ll definitely be on the lookout.

Childhood’s End by Arthur C. Clarke

They came completely unexpected. Hundreds of silver spaceships, hovering above all the capitols and major population centers of the Earth. For nearly a week, as thousands rioted in the streets below, they sat there, waiting. And then came the voice of Karellen, chief of the overlords, viceroy of Earth, heralding a new, planet-wide administration that was destined to end war, poverty, hunger, disease, ignorance, and fear. But as the generations pass and a new breed of humanity arises–one that has known no suffering, no danger, no religion but science, and no creative drive beyond sheer curiosity–mankind is about to discover that their welfare is not the overlords’ primary goal. Humanity’s time in the universe is about to come to an end–and a new, alien beginning.

I read this book in three days, but if I didn’t have any distractions or obligations, I could probably have read it in less than half a day. It’s very short–Clarke doesn’t take time to develop characters, describe the setting, give long info dumps, or show off his prosaic skills. He doesn’t even get into detailed explanations of how everything that happens happens. He waves his hand and gives us the broadest possible sweep of human civilization as mankind finally transcends human existence.

Partially because of the broad brush which Clarke uses to paint his picture, I found myself second guessing him at several turns. I was very skeptical of Clarke’s premises and conclusions, and found it very difficult to believe this story at several points. Believability of the aliens was not nearly so much an issue for me as was believability of humanity.

For example, when the overlords bring out a device that allows people to view any scene from any moment in the past, the world’s religious traditions are exposed and within a generation nobody in the world is religious. That’s not how religious experience works, though. Even if all of the religions in the world were hoaxes–which I’m perfectly willing to allow for the sake of a story–many, if not most of the adherents would continue to hold onto their beliefs, if only for no other reason than to hold onto something. There would be a lot more chaos and upheaval, and religion would stay with us in one form or another, if for no other reason than we as humans are religious creatures. It’s in our nature, whether or not any of the world’s religions are true. Clarke seems to demonstrate an ignorance of this as he paints the future with his broad brush.

A lot of other elements were missing in this book, such as character development, development of the setting, a strong buildup of tension, etc etc. However, as hard, classic sci fi, Childhood’s End doesn’t necessarily need those things to be an accomplished work within its genre. Hard sci fi–especially 50s and 60s sci fi–is all about grand, transcendent concepts, and here Childhood’s End succeeds, especially towards the end. When I finished the story and found out humanity’s final destiny, I was left with a sense of overwhelming awe at the grand cosmic scope of the story’s final message, much as I was with 2001: A Space Odyssey. You really feel, by the end, that you’re staring the incomprehensibly infinite right in the face. Good, hard sci fi will do that to you, and it’s wonderful.

I think this story did what Clarke set out for it to do, despite some of the conceptual spottiness that irked me in the beginning and the middle. The ending was solid, and did an excellent job showing what it means to transcend humanity. If you’re looking for a good story, this book probably will frustrate you, but if you’re interested in dreaming about man’s destiny among the stars, this book will give you that sense of awe and wonder that only classic science fiction can.

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

Lyra is a young girl who lives in Jordan college, Oxford university, with her daemon–a shapeshifting, talking animal companion that is as much a part of her as her growing, changing personality. She is perfectly content to stay at the university forever, exploring and playing games with the local children and their daemons.

All of that changes, however, when children across the countryside start to disappear. At first, it starts in far away places, but soon the mysterious “gobblers,” as the kidnappers are called, hit close to home, and Lyra is swept away into an adventure that takes her far to the north, to the land of auroras and the midnight sun; of witches and clans of ferocious talking polar bear warriors, and evil plans that have been revolving around Lyra since long before she was born.

I rated this novel a solid four stars. It had some elements in it that were fantastically wonderful and imaginative, such as the idea of daemons. In Pullman’s universe, every human being has a daemon, an animal companion that represents one’s personality and is as much an integral part of any human being as their head or arm. Adults’ daemons have fixed themselves onto a certain form, but since children are still growing and changing, their daemons can change shapes at will. Whatever one thinks, so does the other; whatever one feels, so does the other; and whenever one dies, so does the other (usually).

This concept of personal daemons was by far the strongest element of this novel. It ranks among one of the most satisfyingly imaginative fantasy elements I’ve ever seen in a story. It got me wondering “if I had a daemon, what kind would it be?” (probably a black bear), and I felt like a little kid imagining what it would be like to have one. Even though he doesn’t set out all of the rules concerning daemons (Do they need to eat like regular animals? Do they go to the bathroom?), it adds a sense of wonder to the novels and gives insight into the thoughts and emotions of the characters in a delightful way. It also ends up driving the plot, when you find out why the gobblers are kidnapping children.

There were other areas, however, where I felt that the novel was weak, mostly with regards to the plot. The first hundred pages were too slow. Pullman is fairly good about building up tension, but he releases it too quickly. For the first half of the novel, I felt as if Lyra was only getting swept around by things outside her control, rather than actually doing anything, and that was slightly annoying. The explanation for some of the crucial events, such as the opening scene, didn’t make much sense to me. The twist at the end, while surprising, was far from inevitable, and I felt jolted in a less than satisfying way. This is the first novel in a trilogy, and the first novel does not stand on its own as a complete story. It ends on a cliffhanger, somewhere near the bottom of the cliff.

Aside from the plot, however, I think Pullman does a good job. The characters were fairly interesting, with strong personalities that drove the story, and the setting was really well done. There were times in reading the story when I felt that I was up in the north, surrounded by forests dimly lit by the aurora, or flying high in a marvelous balloon above the freezing wastes, or in the midst of the bear castle, surrounded by the reek of bird poop and bear odors watching the bears fight in an epic battle.

There were a lot of things that I liked about this book, and the experience itself was very pleasant. It felt like a fantasy world, and that made it really fun.

A lot of people told me that Pullman is very anti-God and that his books are really preachy–or at least that a significant group of people are wrong to think of it that way. I can see how he sets up the church (he never refers to it as more than “the church”) like a straw man, but in this book at least, he wasn’t very preachy. I can’t really pass a verdict on his treatment of religion until I read the other two books, though, so I’m going to have to hold off on that discussion.

Megaman DDR!

This makes me happy.

It’s 2:30 am. My work here is finished.

cool idea for nanowrimo

Now that I’m gone in the Middle East, the Quark writing group has to find its way without me at the helm.  So far (as far as I know) it’s been going really well, with Travis moderating the online meetings–from what I’ve seen, we’ve even got a few new people coming out, which will be really awesome if they keep coming into the fall.  But sadly, he’s gotten too busy to handle things, so I had to find another replacement yesterday.

I thought: who would be better than Aneeka to head off the writing group? Turns out, she was up for it, so now I can rest well knowing that the club is still alive and still in good hands, even with me on the other side of the world and COMPLETELY out of the loop.

But the whole thing got me to thinking about what’s going to happen in the fall, when I get back to Utah and I’m back in charge of the writing group again…there is a lot that needs to be done.  One of the things that a lot of people wanted to do was NaNoWriMo, something I haven’t done before but has become a really big thing among aspiring writers.  It would be a good thing to bring us together, to bring in some new people, to build connections with the wider writing community out in Utah, etc etc…

Trouble is, if we’re going to be doing it as a club, that means that as writing vp, I should probably participate in it this year.  And in order to participate, I need to come up with some idea for a story…

I’m in Jordan!

…and not writing a whole lot.

I still haven’t figured out how things are going to work exactly, so I haven’t set any new goals yet for my writing.  Probably I’m just going to end up writing 1,000 words a week, but I didn’t do too much last week because we were moving around so much.

Last week we all went to Cairo and toured tons of sites in Egypt.  It was way cool!  You can check out my other blog for the details on that.  Tons of interesting sights, interesting experiences, etc.

I did write a little bit–started out with a new beginning to The Wormhole Paradigm (I’m definitely going to change the title for that one), and just thinking about how I’m going to write it.  I’ve got a better handle on the plot now, thrown out one of my babies that led me to start the story, etc.

That’s probably the story I’m going to work on the most while I’m here.  But honestly, I won’t have much time to do it.  I left the responsibility of organizing online meetings for the Quark writing group with Travis, and I hope that that goes well.  It seems to be working really well, because they’ve already had a meeting and they’ll be having a lot more.  I’ll try to participate through the livejournal accounts, but I can’t make any guarantees.

More updates to come when things settle down a bit here (which might take a while…)

I have a new blog!

Check it out: Journey to Jordan.

The blog is going to be all about my study abroad experience in the Middle East this summer.  I’m going to pattern after my sister’s blog, which IMO is one of the best blogs I’ve ever read.

This means, however, that I probably won’t be updating this blog as often as I have been this past semester.  Rather than write about all the crazy off-the-wall things that happen in my life here, I’ll probably take them there.

I do plan on keeping this blog semi active, however, because I still plan on keeping a rigorous writing schedule.  The goal is going to be significantly smaller, however: 2,000 words per week instead of 1,000 words per day.

Did I mention my new blog?  Check it out, add it to your google newsreaders / blog aggregators, link back to me please, and I’ll probably link back to you as well!  And in four days, if I can find an internet connection, I’ll be blogging from Cairo, Egypt!