momentum – Page 4 – One Thousand And One Parsecs

Getting back into things

So yesterday, I wrote through 4k words in WAFH 2.0 without even realizing it. I didn’t feel very productive, because I only did about 500 words at a time before something came up and I got distracted, but by the end of the day, ended up accomplishing a lot. That was a pleasant surprise.

In terms of my writing, I’ve been really out of things since Thanksgiving. I finished Genesis Earth 5.0 right before the vacation and started outlining WAFH 2.0 immediately after, but…man, the rough draft REALLY sucks. Like, sucks so bad I’ll have to completely throw out part III and start from scratch.

Fortunately, I think I’ve got a good idea what to do. I’ve outlined about eighteen complete plots and subplots, so that’ll probably help out with keeping things tight. The rough draft has a lot of shotgun writing, which means I have a lot of stuff to cut out–and now that I see where things are going, I know how to cut it.

One thing that worries me, however, is that I don’t have a strong driving reason to write this book–or maybe I do, but I just haven’t noticed it yet. I’m hoping that’s the case, but I don’t yet know, and it’s really bugging me.

For Genesis Earth, it was the first line (“Earth was a ghost that haunted me”) and the cryo scene. For Mercenary Savior, it was the ending, and the way it resonated with an old Western I saw as a kid. With both projects, I got to a point of desperation somewhere between the first and second drafts where I wanted to throw everything out and never work on it again–but with both projects, that driving reason kept me going until I made it work.

With WAFH, however, I’m not sure what it is that’s driving me to write it. For now, though, I’ll just press through until I find out. I really hope I’m not just wasting my time writing this (because the rough draft sucks REALLY bad) but past experience has told me to ignore my own self-doubts at this phase.

Which reminds me: this week’s Writing Excuses podcast is really amazing. I just listened to it an hour or two ago, and the advice this time around was exactly what I needed to hear. Brandon’s advice in particular is very good: he basically says to stop worrying and enjoy what you’re doing.

So do I enjoy all of this? In spite of all the angst I’ve spilled, I think I can say that I do. When you’ve got a good story, and you know that it’s good, and you tell it in a way that moves someone else in a personally meaningful way–man, there’s nothing that compares to that. I look back now on stuff I used to think was absolute drivel, and I’m amazed. It takes persistence and drive and a little bit of crazy, but once you can get to that point, it makes everything you did to get there worth it.

The only thing now is to find out why WAFH is worth writing, and to hang onto those reasons at all costs until the story comes into its own. Wish me luck!

Change in direction

Just a quick update on things before I go to bed.

After giving it some thought, I’ve decided to put Into the Nebulous Deep on hold for the time being. The main reason for this is that it’s a direct sequel to Mercenary Savior, and if the first one doesn’t sell…yeah, not the best business decision.

I figure the best way to do it is to have a series of indirectly linked standalone novels set in the same world. That way, a publisher could pick up any one of them after rejecting all the others, but if you want to bundle them into a series and sell them together, you can do that too.

That’s my strategy–I like the universe I built for Mercenary Savior, and I’m going to keep it for the foreseeable future, but for now, the trilogies and duologies will have to wait. In any case, I’ve written down my major ideas for ITND, so I’m sure I’ll be able to pick up where I left off if/when MS sells.

Instead, I’m going to start working through the second draft of Worlds Away from Home. It needs a ton of work, but having finished the rough draft, I know that the story has potential. At this point, I’m actually very enthusiastic about it, so hopefully that will help drive momentum.

Right now, I’m in the outlining stage. I’m taking a page from Dan Wells and using his seven point story structure to draw out all the plot lines and character arcs. When I did this for MS 4.0, I had to outline about fifteen arcs before I felt it was sufficiently tight; it will probably be the same for WAFW 2.0 as well.

Currently, I’m in the middle of outlining chapter six. If all goes well, I’ll finish outlining and start writing by the end of the week.

In the meantime, I’ve been doing a lot of submitting. Sent out another short story to Leading Edge–oh, and by the way, they accepted a poem of mine, so expect to see that in a forthcoming issue. I also submitted the latest draft (5.0) of Genesis Earth to a few agents, so hopefully that will lead to something positive.

In other news, I’m looking for a job again. Oh joy. I’m hoping things will work out with the wilderness job, but if not, I still need something to tide me over for the Christmas season. It’s stressful, but at least I’m not broke yet, which is good. If I can’t find work and have to buy gear for the wilderness training, however, I just might be.

I’m confident things will work out, however. I’ve found that they always do, even if not in the way I wanted or expected. Just keep swimming.

In the meantime, check out this AWESOME 8-bit remix of one of the tracks leaked from Daft Punk’s upcoming album for the movie Tron. Dude…this makes me so incredibly happy. And the 8-bit art! I nabbed it and turned it into my avatar for the Quark forums. In case you want to use it, here’s a copy.

8-bit Daft Punk FTW! The only thing more epic would be if Daft Punk and E.S. Posthumus joined forces–but if that happened, hosts of heavenly angels would descend upon our planet and usher in an era of global peace and universal prosperity. But dude, I would give my firstborn son to acquire that music.

You laugh, but I’m only half joking…

Thanksgiving report from Texas

So for Thanksgiving this year, I drove down with my sister and brother in law to have Thanksgiving in Houston with my other sister’s family. It’s Friday night, and I’m about to hit the sack to get prepped for the long 24+ hour drive back to Utah, but let me say, this vacation has been great!

It’s so good to spend time with family, especially when you live across the country and can’t see each other very often. My niece has grown so much in the past year, and she is so freaking cute it’s unbelievable. Earlier tonight, we were watching slide shows on my sister’s projector and playing around with my niece: “Where’s Aunt Dot? Where’s Oopah? Where’s Uncle Joe?” Heh, Uncle Joe. I will do my best to live up to the awesomeness of that title.

Thanksgiving dinner was AMAZING. Holy freaking crap, my sisters can cook. They put together a traditional dinner from scratch, and everything was perfect. I’m so glad they’re sending a bunch of leftovers with us on the drive tomorrow, because I would much rather subsist on that than random junk food from gas stations.

Besides family, though, one of the coolest parts of the vacation was visiting the Houston Space Center and seeing mission control and one of the original Saturn V rockets. That’s right–see that room in the picture? I was there.

Which immediately begged the question: Why am I not in space right now? Seriously, I would do just about anything to go up in space. Thinking about the Pilgrims made me think about colonizing other planets, and how the difficulties may be similar and yet different. It also made me think about my latest novel, Into the Nebulous Deep, which (I’m hoping) is a colonization story set in space, and how I can use some of the stuff from the Pilgrims in my own work.

Speaking of which, the writing has been going very slow recently. A lot of it has to do with interruptions from the vacation (which frankly are more important), but it also has to do with my growing frustrations with the current project. I’m about 15k in the rough draft of ITND, and…it just doesn’t seem as good as my other work. Of course, it’s just a mental thing–none of my rough drafts has ever been any good–but man, it’s tough to get through.

To complicate things, I’m going to have to find a job for the Christmas season, at least to tide me over. I’m really hoping to get that wilderness job, but the training starts January 13th, and I don’t have the funds to spend all my time writing, like I have this past month.

I’ll know for sure the first week of December whether I’ve been invited to the training–and if I am, it’s going to throw a real kink in my writing routine. Each job shift lasts a full week, during which time I’ll be completely unplugged, living in the wilderness. I might get some time to work on poetry or short stories, but no novels.

The upside is that I get six days off completely free to do whatever I want, but I’m worried that it’ll be difficult, at least at first, to regain sufficient momentum in that short time. I’m sure I can get used to it eventually, but for the first few months, it will probably be tough.

For that reason, I want to get as far in ITND as I can before January 13th, perhaps even finish it (HAHAHAHA!!! As if that’s going to happen). So the fact that I haven’t progressed from this one scene for like a week is really killing me. Throw in a temporary job for the Christmas season, and I’ll probably go crazy.

That’s what my writing angst says, anyways. In other words, everything is fine and life is great. Now I’m going to get some sleep before driving across the freaking country all day tomorrow and Sunday. Night!

Juggling projects isn’t a good antidote to procrastination

Yeah, the title basically says it all. I’m working on Genesis Earth 5.0 and Into the Nebulous Deep 1.0, and while I’m doing really well in the one, I’m not keeping up so much in the other.

First, Genesis Earth. Since I finished the previous draft more than a year ago, I thought I’d find a lot of problems, especially with my prose. Instead, while a lot of the sentence/paragraph level stuff needs tightening, I’m finding to my surprise that the writing isn’t all that bad.

Today, I breezed through over 8k words, and that between running, donating plasma, FHE, and a bunch of other distractions. If I put even a moderate amount of effort into this, I can have it finished before next week. That’s good, because I had an agent at World Fantasy request to see it; if I can put it on her desk before Thanksgiving, that can only be a good thing.

But as for my other project, ITND 1.0…yeah, it’s not coming along as well as I’d hoped. The reasons are stupid, too–mostly just lost momentum and writer’s avoidance.

Right now, I’m stuck in a scene where I’m trying to build romantic tension between two characters. I feel like I have a decent handle on who they are…but for some reason, it feels a little too shallow. Maybe that’s because I’m still discovering who these characters are, maybe it’s because I tend to go deeper than most–or maybe it’s just because it’s the kind of scene that’s hard to get into, but once you’re in, it really flows. I just haven’t forced myself to write it–maybe once I do, these problems will go away.

I do feel like I’m doing a pretty good job setting up the story. Last week, I ran the first chapter through my online writing group, and while it definitely had issues, everyone said that they would keep reading if this was a book they’d picked up off the shelf. That tells me that at least I’m starting in the right place.

The characters, though, and the conflict…I worry that it’s not as deep or as hard-hitting as the first book, Mercenary Savior. I skimmed over that book just a couple days ago before sending it out to a friend from World Fantasy, and…wow. I don’t want to brag, but I think I did a good job with that one. A damn good job.

So can I pull off that kind of depth and impact in the second book? That’s the fear, that it won’t live up to the first one. And certainly, the rough draft won’t be as good–not by a long shot. But the subsequent drafts? I don’t know.

Maybe I should just write and worry about it later, though. When I was in the middle of Worlds Away from Home, I constantly thought to myself how crappy the draft was. When I got to the end, though, and looked back on how far the story had come, I realized that it had potential to be at least as powerful as Mercenary Savior–perhaps even more. And to be honest, that came as quite a surprise.

I don’t know. I hope I’m not just deceiving myself–it can be hard, when you’re toiling in obscurity, to separate the truth from your own self-deception. But for now, things are going well–I’m making good progress in Genesis Earth, and while Into the Nebulous Deep has lost a lot of momentum, all it really needs is a good solid block of undistracted writing to get it going again. Life is good.

Why am I so #$%! unproductive?

I don’t know why, but it’s a lot harder for me to write the first draft of something than it is to revise it. Finishing my last novel was much, much harder than any of the projects before it, and my productivity is still suffering because of it.

The root problem, I suppose, is procrastination. While I was writing my last novel, things got really tough towards the end, and I found myself procrastinating much more than I should have. That led me to develop a dangerous habit. Right now, as I move into the fourth revision of Mercenary Savior, I find that I’m still procrastinating even when the work is much easier (and more enjoyable).

Or is that really it? Maybe I wasn’t procrastinating when I was writing my last novel–maybe I was taking frequent breaks to “fill the well.” Except now, those breaks have turned into full-scale procrastination, and I’m finding it very hard to get back on a regular schedule.

I’ve been doing about 1k to 3k words per day this past week, but I feel like I should be doing around 4k or 5k. A lot of the time, I put off even starting until around 5pm, and stay up until late hours of the night when I should be sleeping. It’s not a sustainable schedule, and I know it.

Part of it might have to do with the fact that I’m back at my parents’ house right now, taking a short break before returning to Utah. I guess I should just stop worrying and enjoy my time here–I’m still doing well, overall, and there’s more to life than writing all the time. Still, it’s maddening to feel unproductive. Blarg.

Other than that, things are going great. I’ve been spending a lot of quality time with my dad, as well as relaxing and taking time off from other pursuits. Saw Inception and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and loved them both. Read a couple of good books, too. Life is good.

In unrelated news, my sister is about to have a baby. Everyone in the family is WAY excited. We love you, Kate and Danny!

Falling back into the groove

Today I surprised myself and wrote nearly 4k words, some of which might actually be good enough to keep. Huzzah!

The novel is coming along very nicely, and I’m starting to get really excited with where it’s going. That’s huge, because up to this point, the nagging “this is crap, what are you doing with your life?” voices have been getting me down. Yeah, the draft I’m writing will need a lot of work, but the story’s got potential, and I can see it. That’s the most important part.

The interesting thing was that after pounding out the first thousand words, the writing started to really flow. The right words and phrases started coming quite naturally, almost on their own, instead of waiting for me to mercilessly hunt them down.

An example:

The weather was perfect–sunny, clear, and neither too hot nor too cold. Upset by the sound of their engines, flocks of pretty white birds took to the air, filling the sky around the green banks like noisy, low-flying clouds. Down in the cabin, Kariym began to sing a lilting ballad about a young boy in love with his brother’s betrothed. His deep bass voice bellowed over the roar of the engine, lifting Jalil’s spirits. It was a very good day to be alive.

They rode upstream over the river for the next hour. Almost immediately they left the main body of the convoy far behind, taking the reconnaissance position for the advance guard. Occasionally, they passed a town or a bridge–magnificent works of steel and stone that soared over their heads, spanning the entire vast width of the river. Mostly, however, the banks were empty and unsettled–nothing but long, straight stretches of thick green bush, with the occasionally rocky outcropping to break the monotony.

Of course, the writing’s not perfect–I’ll be the first to say that it needs considerable work–but at least it’s decent. Decent for a rough draft.

One of the most annoying things about writing is when I unconsciously break into alliteration. I’ll write a sentence, only to realize that I can’t let it stand as it is because every noun, verb, and adjective starts with the same sound. Like that last phrase: “starts with the same sound.” Augh!

I’m finding, though, that when used in moderation, that tendency towards alliteration can be somewhat helpful. There’s nothing quite as pleasurable as reading a good story with delicious, flowing prose, like Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Dispossessed or Robert Charles Wilson’s Spin. Excellent books. I’d be more than happy if I could write as beautifully as them someday.

In the meantime, though, I’m just plugging away, trying to make the next chapter, scene, paragraph, and sentence better than the last. Fortunately, now that I’m excited about the story again, things are going very nicely.

Oh, and happy fourth on the fifth. I spent most of the day with family (not writing), bouncing around Provo and doing various stuff. I’ve got a ton of chores to do tomorrow, though, so I’d better get to bed. Night!

Quick update

Just a quick update on things, since it’s been forever since I’ve blogged.

The Utah Valley Democrats offered me a position, but it wasn’t the internship they’d advertised, so I turned it down. They wanted me to do all their phone surveys, for 20 hours per week at $8.50 an hour, working evenings and Saturdays from now until November. Basically, they wanted me to do the same crappy job that I’m already doing, but for less pay, more hours, and with significantly less flexibility. Needless to say, I wasn’t too thrilled.

I sent out Mercenary Savior 3.0 to my beta readers. If you weren’t included in that list, don’t be offended–I’m trying to get feedback from some new people who haven’t read the previous drafts, to see what they think. I’m hoping to start the next revision of that novel sometime in August; my goal is to have it polished in time for World Fantasy 2010, which I will be attending.

Worlds Away from Home is coming along, but much too slowly. I want to finish it by August 15th, which means that I should be writing between 2.5k and 3k words per day. Right now, I’m averaging about 1.5k–not bad, but not enough either. I need to take some time and immerse myself in this project.

At the same time, I really need to find a decent day job. The one I’ve got right now is good for summer stuff, but I don’t want to be doing it long term. Ideas for a more semi-permanent job include:

Working in a bookstore
Teaching Arabic
Getting a wilderness job (see previous post)
Getting an editing internship
Freelance translating (I’m a little uneasy about this)
Finding a job in the Middle East and living/traveling there for a year

I’m a little wary of the last one, given the current political situation, but if things improve, I could see myself moving out there in the fall. It depends on what I can find, of course–and for that reason, I’m considering signing up for the TESOL certificate program here at BYU.

I don’t know, though. There’s a lot to do, a lot to figure out. It’s hard to balance it all, but I’m doing what I can. Whatever happens, though, I’m sure it will all work out.

So much happening, so little getting done

…in terms of writing, that is. I got a lot of little and not-so-little things done today, but didn’t spend much time writing. Only got about 855 words, when I need to be averaging 2.5k per day in order to finish Mercenary Savior before CONduit.

The weirdest part is that I have so much free time. No school, no work–no pressing obligations or deadlines. You’d think I’d be writing 4k a day, just like last summer.

Instead, I’ve been so consumed with getting an apartment, getting a job, getting basic transportation–basically, figuring out a plan for my immediate future–that I’ve lost any momentum I might have had a week ago. Writing isn’t just about time; it’s about mental space as well.

It’s frustrating. I feel so distant from Mercenary Savior that it’s hard not to procrastinate, especially now that I’m stuck on one of James’s scenes that needs a complete overhaul. I wonder whether these revisions are making the novel any better–I need to deal with this outside stress and get back into the story.

Fortunately, things are working out that I’ll probably be able to do that. I found a cheap bike on craigslist that will hopefully solve my immediate transportation needs, and I’ve got a semi-workable plan as far as employment goes.

The plan that currently seems most attractive is to get a full or 3/4ths part time job at BYU (those come with benefits) before the end of the summer. Yes, there is still a hiring freeze, but it could lift very soon, and when it does, there will be tons of positions to fill. It’s not like I’m going to hold out for that, but I’m certainly hopeful. I felt very good about it when I visited D-70 ASB for information.

Anyways, the key with the writing is to cut the distractions and just slug through it for a few days, until the momentum comes back. In the absence of school or work, it will be difficult to impose structure on my days, but that problem will solve itself if I can balance job-seeking with writing.

Exactly one month ago, I started the revision for Mercenary Savior. I’ve got 40 days before the self-imposed deadline, and I’m only 25% finished. Fortunately, without any school obligations to occupy my time, I should be able to do it. 2.5k per day, that’s the goal. Once I’ve got some momentum going again, it should be pretty straightforward.

In the meantime, check out this awesome, awesome song from This American Life and rage against the robber barons of the Great Recession:

Bet Against The American Dream from Planet Money on Vimeo.

Newsvomit

Alright, before I collapse from exhaustion and call it a night, here’s what’s up.

Today, I wrote more than 3k words in the revision of Bringing Stella Home (I’m going to change that title soon–I’ve got a new working title, but I don’t know what I think about it). The whole time, though, it felt as if I was pulling teeth. I was constantly distracted with one thing or another, and didn’t feel productive at all. Blegh.

Tomorrow, all that momentum I built up today will probably start to kick in. Unfortunately, I’ve got so much other crap to do instead. I’m flying out to Utah early Wednesday morning, so I’ve got to pack, do laundry, get a father’s blessing, finish as much schoolwork from Washington Seminar as possible (aka finish the portfolio)…the list keeps going. It’s going to be a hectic day.

Anyways. In unrelated news, Duke beat Butler by a measly two points. The game was so epic even my parents watched it. Somewhere in an alternate universe, Butler made the half-point shot as the clock ran out. I’m thinking life must be a lot more exciting in that alternate universe.

In news unrelated to the unrelated news, I found something awesome on the internets last night: the end theme from Jurassic Park for the game gear!!

Ah, the memories. The beautiful, 16-bit memories.

In other, somewhat related news (related to the writing, that is), I have a new working title for my novel: Mercenary Savior. What do you think? I kind of like it, but it feels like something is missing–something like Mercenary Savior to a ______, or Mercenary Savior in a _____ universe. I dunno.

My dear, trusted alpha readers, what do you think?

Quarterly report

So I figure that since I want to write professionally, it would be a good idea to keep track of my writing and do quarterly updates on my blog. Here’s the first one for this year:

The red line shows my daily writing word count, the blue line a running seven day total. The graph starts January 1st and goes to March 31st.

For the first part of January, the seven day total was high for a week because I’d just finished Bringing Stella Home 2.0. It dropped down way low for a while because I was busy moving into the Barlow center, starting my internship, and starting a new novel at the same time. Combining all three of those things at the same time made for very little progress, until about the middle part of the month.

Things progressed at a moderate rate (about 1k words per day) from the middle of January until snowmageddon, which hit us in the second week of February. I got a lot of writing done while snowed in, and my work in progress at the time, To Search the Starry Sea 1.0, got a lot of momentum behind it.

That momentum started to taper off, as I realized that the story I was writing was different than the story I had in my head. I swear, this happens EVERY time I try to write a novel. I tried to stick with the story in my head, but the gap got wider and wider until I realized the story just wasn’t working.

At the end of February, I decided to put it on the back burner and let my ideas simmer for a while. I’ll probably pick it up again at some point in the future, but not in the short term–I need to put it away for a while. I’m sure I’ll finish it someday, though.

So then, in the beginning of March, I went through all the comments I’d received on Bringing Stella Home. The HUGE spike you see right around the middle of the month represents all the revision notes I put together for the 3.0 draft. I read through the entire manuscript in about a week and a half, made a detailed scene by scene outline, and figured out my strategy for the revision.

Things dropped off again pretty sharply the last couple weeks of March because that was right around when I was fired from my internship. That was one hell of a stressful week. They picked up pretty quick after that, though, because 1) I had a lot more free time, and 2) I’m REALLY excited about this project.

Looking ahead, I think if I push myself, I can finish Bringing Stella Home 3.0 by the end of April. It will be difficult because I’ll be looking for an apartment and a job at the same time, but after next week I won’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore (potentially for the rest of my life…whoa). Definitely, I’ll have it done in time for CONduit 2010.

One thing I need to work on a lot more is submitting. I’ve got a list of agents to submit Genesis Earth to, I just haven’t got around to sending it to them all. The responses I’ve received have been generally encouraging: all rejections, but about half form rejections, half personalized in some way. I do think this book will find it’s way in print, though it may not be my first to be published.

Even though Bringing Stella Home will probably need at least one more major revision before the full manuscript is ready to be sent out to editors/agents, I can probably polish the first three chapters enough to shop it around sometime in May. I’m not sure if that’s what I’ll do, but it’s an option. It depends on whether I jump right in to the 4.0 revision after finishing the current draft, which I probably won’t do; better to let it sit for a while.

Instead, I think I’ll jump right in to finishing that novel I started in late 2008, Hero in Exile. The title will have to change (as always), but I’ve got a lot of fresh ideas for it, plus the enthusiasm to pull it off. In many ways, Hero in Exile is a non-linear sequel to Bringing Stella Home, so if I get a deal with the one, I can always pitch the other as the next in the series. That’s a huge plus–and a major reason why I’ll be enthusiastic about the project, since the two novels build off of each other.

Anyway, that’s what things are looking like from here. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I’ll read a couple of friends’ novels (I haven’t forgotten about you, Jakeson and Drek!), graduate, get an apartment, get a job (inshallah), write an article for Mormon Artist, go to a con or two, and maybe even get a girlfriend and/or figure out what to do with my life.