Desert Stars – Page 14 – One Thousand And One Parsecs

Slogging through to the bitter happy ending

Oh man. I was hoping to hit 5k words today, and even though I must have spent five or six hours writing, I only managed half of that. It’s progress, I know, but it’s not as much progress as I’d like; the words just aren’t coming, no matter what I do. Blarg.

The worst part is that I know that most of these words are just crap. I’ll get to the end of a chapter and think “oh yeah, shouldn’t these characters be doing/thinking this?” And I’ll make a couple of notes in the revision guide, or touch up what I’ve written just a little bit, but one thing compounds on another until everything’s got problems.

But you know what? I’m almost three quarters of the way through, so it’s probably better just to write on through these problems and finish the @#$! thing. At this point, I’ve got a good enough story that I can carry things through to the end, as horrible as it may be, and just fix everything in the next draft.

It’s frustrating, though, because I know that most of the changes I’m going to make will seem obvious. Why can’t I just get it right the first time?

Is it because I failed to outline things enough? I know from experience, however, that outlining too much can be fatal for me. Is it because I didn’t take the time to immerse myself in my story? But then again, I’ve been spending so much time on my writing, everything else seems to be suffering, including my social life…

BLARG.

I’m probably just missing the forest for the trees. Once I get out of these woods, though, I’m sure things will fall into place. One way or another, in two weeks this abomination will be FINISHED! …at least until the next draft.

Braving the unexpected rough spots

Right now, I’m going through this unexpected rough spot in my novel, where I know what’s supposed to happen (or at least I have enough of an idea to wing it fairly well), but the writing just isn’t coming. This happens every time I hit the two thirds mark, and it really sucks.

Currently, I’m using two methods to get through it: 1) keep a running chapter-by-scene outline of the next few scenes, and 2) use a loose adaptation of story theory models (such as the hero’s journey) to keep perspective on things. Right now, this is what my chapter-by-scene outline looks like:

Chapter 14
14.1: Jalil
Jalil meets LARS, who with Michelle shows him the ship. Jalil learns that Lars has a connection with the Farlen family and that the Stewarts are from his parents’ home.
14.2: Mira
Mira returns home an outcast. Sheila rails at her for failing to seduce Jalil, while Sathi pulls her into his quarters to tell her that he’s arranged for her speedy marriage.
14.3: Jalil
The Bridgette launches from GN-2 using a gravity whip maneuver. The ship heads out for the L2 point, using a second gravity whip around GN-2b. Jalil realizes this is goodbye.

Chapter 15
15.1: Mira
While Mira prepares herself to get ready to meet her cousin Ibrahim, Tiera approaches her in private to apologize for calling her a whore. Tiera advises her to stand up for herself.
15.2: Mira
IBRAHIM’s convoy arrives. As Sathi and Ibrahim’s father conduct negotiations, Mira meets him and is surprised to find that she’s attracted to him.
15.3: Mira
Mira, Surayya, Amina, and Tiera discuss Ibrahim in the women’s quarters. Tiera advises Mira not to pursue him, but Surayya and Amina convince her to go ahead with it.

Chapter 16
16.1: Jalil
Lars and Michelle tell Jalil about the Colony. They show him pictures, and he has flashbacks.
16.2: Jalil
While making maneuvers around GN-2a, the Bridgette receives news of Hameji movements near Karduna. Jalil learns a bit of the Hameji.
16.3: Jalil
The Bridgette arrives at the L2 station and enters the starlane. Jalil’s first experience as an adult making the jump.

Chapter 17
17.1: Mira
???

As you can see, I’ve broken down each chapter by scene, with the viewpoint character indicated as well as a short one or two line description of what happens. When a new character comes along, I mention them by name in ALL CAPS. I use the auto font color for story that I’ve already written, and the stuff that remains to be written in red. Also, I only outline a handful of scenes ahead of my current position.

That’s the method that works for me. I have no idea if it will work for you, but feel free to give it a try or let me know what methods you’re using.

I’m finding that even though I’m more of a “discovery writer,” certain methods of outlining give me much greater flexibility to discovery write than simply winging it all on the fly. In particular, I find that outlining my characters and keeping a running scene-by-scene map for the next couple days helps to keep me on track.

I ran into this problem earlier in the week: without any kind of outline, and no previously written material to fall back on, I had no idea what to do. Instead of sitting at my keyboard doing nothing, though, I plotted out the next few scenes to give me some idea what to do.

That helped me out for a while, but now…man, it’s still rough. I did 3,251 words yesterday, but today I only hit 1,555. It’s a lot, I know, but with all my free time, I should be hitting more. Much more.

I suppose the only way out of this slump is to write–and write I certainly must. I seriously need a real job, and right now I’m looking into the field staff position at Wilderness Quest. If they hire me, I’ll need to finish this novel before I start work, since I’ll be out in the wilderness for three weeks at a time and the last thing I want is to pick up a half-finished project after it’s gone cold–especially when I’ve got to rewrite Mercenary Savior for World Fantasy 2010.

So that’s what I’m looking at right now. Three weeks, inshallah, and Worlds Away from Home 1.2 will be finished. Hopefully by then, I’ll have a real job too.

To close, check out this awesome version of the Corridors of Time song (Zeal theme) from the Chrono Trigger soundtrack. I’ve heard maybe twenty or thirty different arrangements of this excellent composition, and this one takes the cake. Beautiful.

Forward to new ground

A couple days ago, I finished writing through the material I’d written for Worlds Away From Home back in 2008 before I dropped the project. For the first time since March, I find myself drafting entirely new material.

It’s a little bit unnerving; I’m a much better reviser, I feel, than straight up writer. Revising is awesome because I know that the book is getting better, whereas drafting is frustrating because the written story never turns out as awesome as it was when it was in my head.

At the same time, it’s really fun to play fast and loose with your book. Need a new character? Throw him in! A new romantic subplot? Go for it! A new planet for the characters to visit? Sure, why not?

I will say, though, that it’s much harder to keep up a steady writing rate when you’re drafting new material. My daily word count has fallen to about 2k, give or take a few hundred words. In order to finish this by August 15, I just need to do 2.2k per day, but I’m sure something will come up and I’ll find myself in a crunch by the end.

One thing that might throw a kink in the works is getting a new job. Being underemployed really sucks, and I want to move on to a new job by the beginning of August. Easier said than done in this economy, right? Well, there are some options open to a young, single college grad in my position: namely, a wilderness job. I’ve been holding out on that because eight days in the wilderness for every six days off seems like a lot of time away from other pursuits, but the more I look at it, the more appealing it seems. Six days completely off, with no money problems…hmm…

Which reminds me: would it be lame to put up a donate button on this blog? One that said “buy me a (non-alcoholic) drink” or something like that? I don’t want to ask for money, but if you guys feel like throwing it at me, who am I to hold you back? I don’t expect it to earn much, but something is better than nothing, especially these days.

الثريا والرواية

So today I was working on my novel, Worlds Away from Home, and I decided to change the name of a minor character from “Soroya” to something that sounds cooler.

I’d given the rest of her family Arabic-sounding names, because they’re basically far-future Arabs living on another planet (their tribal name is Najmi (نجمي), which means “of the stars”), so I wanted to give her an Arabic-sounding name.

Well, when I looked up female Arabic names at Behind The Name, guess what I found? “Soraya” is an actual Arab name–in fact, it’s a variant of “Thurayya” (ثريا), which means “the Pleiades.”

Ha! Isn’t that perfect? “Pleiades of the stars.”

To make her name cool, though, I changed the spelling to “Surayya.”

Thoughts on the convolutions of discovery writing

It’s been forever since I posted, so I figured I’d put something up and let you guys know what I’ve been up to.

I’m happy to say that Worlds Away From Home is going well; I wrote just under 20k this week, which is more than I’ve written in a long time. I hope to keep a steady 15k to 20k for the next three weeks as I finish this draft.

I think I’m through the roughest parts (famous last words, right?), and I’ve got a fairly clear idea where I want to take this. That is, I have a target ending that’s both specific enough to give me direction and vague enough to give me some flexibility. If I’m doing things right, I expect these characters will surprise me before the end.

When I first started this novel almost two years ago, I hit a bad rough patch right around my current spot and had to put it on hold for a while. At the time, I thought it was because of a particularly difficult scene (which I just rewrote), but now I see that the problem was much bigger.

I thought that I was telling a story about a guy who nearly falls for the wrong girl and ends up with the right one in the end, when really the first girl was the right one. Once again, I found myself telling a very different story than the one I set out to tell.

Interestingly, in order to see what I needed to do to fix the problem, I had to write a completely unrelated novel in the same world about the same overarching world events. My problem, I think, was that I spent so much time world building that I stopped paying attention to what the characters were doing.

With the current draft, I’ve discovered that this story is very solidly a science fiction romance. There’s plenty of sf action, but it’s the romance that drives the plot.

While this discovery comes as a pleasant surprise, it also worries me because the potential audience may be very small. Traditionally, science fiction has been anathema to romance, and while that may be changing (as evidenced by this interesting post at tor.com), I wonder how well this book will sell, especially because it’s not your typical romance. In some ways, it’s actually a critique of our typical ideas of romance.

Oh well. I suppose there isn’t anything I can do about it except finish the damn thing and worry about selling it later. These types of thoughts tend to be counterproductive to the creative process, especially when you’re more thank 50k into the draft.

Overall, though, I’m optimistic. I like this story that I’m telling, and while I may cringe at the mistakes I make as I go along, I know that I need to resist the urge to fix them until the rough draft is complete.

Writing for me is like wandering around blindfolded with a Polaroid camera and taking a picture of something that sounds cool. When I take off the blindfold and check the picture, it takes a while before I can see the coherent whole. Usually, though I have some idea what to expect, the end result surprises me.

I love it, though. That element of surprise and spontaneity is well worth the lack of control, because usually (if I handle things right) it helps to give the story depth, meaning, and honesty that my conscious mind simply could not give it.

I’m very optimistic about this novel. Now that the world is solidly built, I can focus everything on the characters, and that’s where the true story lies. I’m currently having a lot of fun torturing them, but I know where their headed with their growth arcs and how all of this ties together (well, most of it, anyway). If I can pull it off, it should be quite satisfying. In the meantime, I’m excited to seeing where it takes me.

Falling back into the groove

Today I surprised myself and wrote nearly 4k words, some of which might actually be good enough to keep. Huzzah!

The novel is coming along very nicely, and I’m starting to get really excited with where it’s going. That’s huge, because up to this point, the nagging “this is crap, what are you doing with your life?” voices have been getting me down. Yeah, the draft I’m writing will need a lot of work, but the story’s got potential, and I can see it. That’s the most important part.

The interesting thing was that after pounding out the first thousand words, the writing started to really flow. The right words and phrases started coming quite naturally, almost on their own, instead of waiting for me to mercilessly hunt them down.

An example:

The weather was perfect–sunny, clear, and neither too hot nor too cold. Upset by the sound of their engines, flocks of pretty white birds took to the air, filling the sky around the green banks like noisy, low-flying clouds. Down in the cabin, Kariym began to sing a lilting ballad about a young boy in love with his brother’s betrothed. His deep bass voice bellowed over the roar of the engine, lifting Jalil’s spirits. It was a very good day to be alive.

They rode upstream over the river for the next hour. Almost immediately they left the main body of the convoy far behind, taking the reconnaissance position for the advance guard. Occasionally, they passed a town or a bridge–magnificent works of steel and stone that soared over their heads, spanning the entire vast width of the river. Mostly, however, the banks were empty and unsettled–nothing but long, straight stretches of thick green bush, with the occasionally rocky outcropping to break the monotony.

Of course, the writing’s not perfect–I’ll be the first to say that it needs considerable work–but at least it’s decent. Decent for a rough draft.

One of the most annoying things about writing is when I unconsciously break into alliteration. I’ll write a sentence, only to realize that I can’t let it stand as it is because every noun, verb, and adjective starts with the same sound. Like that last phrase: “starts with the same sound.” Augh!

I’m finding, though, that when used in moderation, that tendency towards alliteration can be somewhat helpful. There’s nothing quite as pleasurable as reading a good story with delicious, flowing prose, like Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Dispossessed or Robert Charles Wilson’s Spin. Excellent books. I’d be more than happy if I could write as beautifully as them someday.

In the meantime, though, I’m just plugging away, trying to make the next chapter, scene, paragraph, and sentence better than the last. Fortunately, now that I’m excited about the story again, things are going very nicely.

Oh, and happy fourth on the fifth. I spent most of the day with family (not writing), bouncing around Provo and doing various stuff. I’ve got a ton of chores to do tomorrow, though, so I’d better get to bed. Night!

Second Quarter 2010 report

As you may or may not know, I keep a spreadsheet of my daily word counts. Nerdy, I know, but you’d be surprised how helpful it can be with keeping goals and staying motivated. As part of that, I’ve decided to do a quarterly report here on my blog. Here’s my report for April 2010 through June 2010:

The red line shows my daily word count, and the blue line shows a running 7-day total.

At the beginning of April, I was somewhere in the middle of writing Mercenary Savior 3.0. I was also in the middle of a long and strenuous debacle with BYU’s Washington Seminar. Long story short, I got kicked out under disputed circumstances.

Anyway, that explains the sharp dip in the first couple of weeks. I returned to my parents’ house in Massachusetts on April 6th and spent a week there before moving out to Utah; that explains the short lived bump from April 6 to April 12.

So three weeks before graduation, I came back to Utah with no job, no apartment, no transportation besides my own feet–nothing. Fortunately, some friends helped me out, and for the rest of April and most of May I at least had transportation (bike) and a roof over my head.

Without a job, I had lots of writing time, and I used it well, as you can see. The sharp dip at the end of April corresponds with graduation, when all the family was over and I was spending most of my time with them.

Things dropped off the second half of May, though, and I’m not sure why. Perhaps it was writing fatigue? I was coming up on the end of Mercenary Savior, and as I remember, the revision was fairly tough. Also, I was stressed out about not having a job, and spent much of my free time looking for work. I found my current part-time job at the end of May, and had a few spikes, but my output never totally recovered.

As an experiment, I took a week off from writing after finishing Mercenary Savior on the first of June. I thought that this would help me recharge my creative batteries and get off with Worlds Away from Home on a good start. Instead, I found that taking the time off made it harder to get back into creative writing mode, and so I struggled for the first week or two to really get that project off the ground.

Lately, I’ve been trying to bump up my output above 10k per week, without much success. For some reason, I seem to have fallen in a rut where I can’t write more than 2k per day. 2k is good, but it’s not the level where I want to be. I want to finish Worlds Away from Home in the first couple weeks of August, so that I’ll have plenty of time to polish Mercenary Savior for World Fantasy in November.

I think that part of the problem lies in the nature of the work. Mercenary Savior was all straight up revision, with very little new content. Worlds Away from Home, however, involves a ton of new content. Yes, I’ve got all that stuff I wrote back in the fall of 2008, but I’ve also added a new viewpoint character and significantly changed the basic storyline. Only about half of the old stuff is recyclable, and I’ll run out of it in 100 pages, roughly at the midway point of the novel.

After revising for so long, it’s hard to get used to writing a first draft. I’m not sure how to describe it, except that it takes a lot more mental energy–a LOT more. Plus, there’s always the nagging voices that tell you what you’re writing is crap–and when you’re writing your rough draft, the voices are usually right! Tuning them out is starting to be a challenge.

Overall, though, I’m very optimistic. My main goal is to produce one solid, polished novel a year, and I’m still on schedule to accomplish that. Mercenary Savior requires AT LEAST another revision before it’ll be good enough to send out to editors and agents, but I’ve got half a year to do that. As for 2011, I’ll almost certainly have the first or second draft of Worlds Away from Home before January 1st. Things are going well.

And on that note, I think I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. Night.

Writer’s block? Tallyho!

Just a quick post before I go to bed.

Health problems suck when all you’ve got is catastrophic insurance. I started breaking out in this weird rash last week, and I went into the clinic today. It was seventy five dollars well spent, but…man, seventy five dollars?

So between taking the bus all over the Provo/Orem area to get to and from the clinic, picking up the antibiotics from Macy’s, and cooking treats for institute, I didn’t get much writing done. At the same time, though, I feel like I should have gotten a lot more writing done–that really, I was just putting it off with all the other chores.

“Writer’s block” is this generic phrase used to describe a number of writing related maladies–kind of like “consumption” back in the 1800s, I guess. Right now, I’m suffering from a particularly unusual strain: I’ve got some decent plot and character ideas, I know what I want to write, but I just can’t seem to bring myself down to write it. Not consistently, anyways. This past week, I’ve only been hitting 1.4k words per day, when I need to be doing 2.5k in order to make my 15 August deadline.

The irregularity of my schedule certainly isn’t helping, but I think it goes deeper than that. I’m currently treading new territory, going places where the first draft never went, and I can’t help but feel that the stuff I’ve written prior to this point is just crap. That’s what’s so debilitating–the recognition of all the mistakes I’ve made thus far. Some of them are relatively major–level twos, at the very least.

Well, just like the best proscription for the flu is to get rest and drink lots of water (and pop lots of antibiotics when that doesn’t work), the best proscription for writer’s block is to sit down and write! So that’s what I plan to do. Tallyho!

…except, not right now. It’s 1:00 am and I’m fighting some kind of bacterial infection. Gotta sleep, but then…tallyho!

(oh, and in totally unrelated news, an agent requested to see the full manuscript for Genesis Earth! Must not get hopes up…must not get hopes up…too late. Tallyho!)

Take me to Arabia

Recently, I’ve found myself nearly overwhelmed by the sudden urge to run away to the Middle East and go totally and irrevocably native. It may pass, but I still want to go back there–really bad.

So I looked up BYU’s TESOL certification program, and figured I could apply in January, start fall of ’11, and be on my way to an Arabian adventure in ’12.

Or…I could bypass the whole certification thing altogether, but I’d probably get a crappier job. Besides, the certification could lead to other things, like perhaps an actual stable day job. Who knows?

Regardless, I should probably find some way to actually use my Arabic degree. After all, why did I get it in the first place? Better put it to use!

So why am I tripping out on Middle East stuff? Interestingly enough, I think it has a lot to do with the current novel I’m writing, Worlds Away from Home. I started it in fall ’08, just after getting back from BYU’s 2008 Jordan study abroad program, and the influence is definitely very visible.

Sometimes it makes me cringe a little, though; the fictional culture is patterned after my understanding of and experiences with Arab culture, but…it’s very pseudo Arab, if that make sense. Kind of like it looks Arab, but it feels more Western. I don’t know–I guess what I’m saying is that it’s bad (or maybe I just think that because I’m in the middle of the rough draft, when everything I write is utter and absolute crap. Blegh).

But the thing is, if I try to make the culture truly foreign, I’m worried it will be more of a barrier to the reader than a gateway. In other words, it’s the classic science fiction problem of aliens: the more you succeed in making your aliens truly alien, the harder it is for the reader to understand or sympathize with them.

But then again, isn’t that why we read? To be transported to different times and places, experience other people and cultures, and be exposed to new ideas? To expand our minds and enrich our understanding? If that’s the case, there’s got to be something good and healthy about immersing the reader in a totally foreign culture.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any easier.

Oh well. I’m up for the challenge. In the meantime, I’ll keep reading T. E. Lawrence’s The Seven Pillars of Wisdom and continuously loop all my Arab pop. Not familiar with Arabic music? Here’s a really good one:

Track 5

(ps: I’d tell you who wrote/performs the song, but frankly I have no idea. Unfortunately, copyright doesn’t really exist in the Middle East. Oh well. Enjoy!)

The need to change

I picked up this sign at institute last Wednesday. The lesson was on our desires; specifically, how the thing that we truly desire deep down is often the thing that we get.

The main reason I posted this sign on the door was to motivate me to get a better job than my current one. However, it applies to so many other things as well.

Take writing, for example: if I’m going to actually turn this writing thing into a full time career, I’ve got to bust my butt to make it happen. Writing a paltry 250 words each day on a novel you’ve been working on for the past twenty years just isn’t going to cut it.

I got two form rejections today, and that made me realize that I need to be more serious about submitting my work. So instead of working of working on Worlds Away From Home, I researched a slew of agents, rewrote my query letter for Genesis Earth, and sent out four carefully prepared and researched submissions. I don’t want to spend any more time bouncing around from job to job than I have to–I want to break in and make this writing career take off.

So far, I’ve gotten approximately 14 rejections for Genesis Earth: ten form rejections, one personalized rejection, one rejection after the partial was requested, and two that I haven’t heard back on but have been out for so long they’ve probably been rejected. Interestingly enough, rejection itself is not that hard for me to deal with: it’s building the motivation and nerve to submit to the next place that’s tough.

But I’ve got to do it. I feel kind of like Hachimaki from the anime series Planetes, who quits his job without taking the severance package when he applies for the Jupiter mission. If he has the safety net, he knows that he’ll get lazy, so breaks goes out on his own, even sleeping on the streets for a while during the initial tryouts.

I haven’t quite fallen that low yet–I’ve got an apartment, a bike, and a job, even if it’s only a subsistence level one. But when it comes to long term careers, I’m putting everything into my writing right now–there isn’t anything else.

It’s still discouraging to get rejected, but I’m still very optimistic that things will work out. Even if everyone rejects Genesis Earth, I’ll have Mercenary Savior ready to submit before the end of the year. It’s just a matter of time–I just hope it happens soon.

In the meantime, here’s the opening sequence from Planetes. Such an awesome series–I’d take a job with Debris Section in an instant! Even garbage collecting is cool when it’s IN SPAAACE!!