The Middle East – Page 3 – One Thousand And One Parsecs

Where were you on 9/11/01?

Tuesday Sept 11th, 2001
Day of the Terrorist Attacks on the WTC and Pentagon

Today has been an incredible day. In describing the events that happened today, one of the teachers said that “the world has changed significantly from what it used to be.” There’s no doubt that that’s true. It’s so strange, I’m still having trouble computing it; it seems almost like a dream; that tomorrow we’ll get up and nothing will be different.

On September 10th, 2001, I resolved to keep a daily journal for one full year (and actually followed through on it until June the next year). That journal turned into a detailed account of my personal reaction to the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the most historic, world-changing event to happen in my lifetime.

September 11th was the first day of school for my junior year in high school.

I first heard the news in 2nd period, which was AP US History with Mr. Gunn. I was excited to see his class, see what the year would be like, etc. Everyone was scrambling for a test. He came in a bit late, and was visibly shaken. He told us that the test was cancelled, and then broke the news to us.

I don’t think anyone computed it right then. I know I didn’t. I heard about it, and immediately my love of storms, breaking news, and perilous events kicked in. But I knew that what had happened was big – and not cool one bit.

I choked down the impulse to get excited, but I did want to know more – a lot more. I asked several questions about what had happened, but there wasn’t much info right then. I had no idea what the incredible magnitude of the event was; I still have trouble, it’s like something from a movie or something.

Needless to say, that was the weirdest first day of school I’ve ever had. Classes went on as scheduled, except for the last period of day, which was canceled for an impromptu school-wide assembly. Everything was upside down, with teachers and students trying simultaneously to launch another school year while doing everything they could to find out what the hell was happening on the news.

I didn’t get to a TV until the mid-afternoon, during my lunch break.

CNN was on, and they were showing footage of the Trade Center and the second plane ripping through it. They showed the buildings on fire and the scene around the buildings. It was incredible; eerie…it was really then that I started to comprehend the sheer magnitude of what had happened.

I watched footage of the Trade Center as the building collapsed – that was incredible. I watched the footage reels play over and over again. There was one of someone at the very foot of the building shooting the building as it burned, then caught it as it began to collapse, and then it started jiggling around as the guy and everyone around him scrambled as fast as they could to get out of there!

It was surreal. In the middle school just across the street, kids burst out laughing when they watched the second plane hit the other tower–then looked around in frightened disbelief as they realized that it was real. I remember looking at the photographs from the New York Times the next day and thinking I was reading a superhero comic, not the newspaper. It just didn’t compute.

I had a ton of questions on my mind that day, and they generally went in this order:

1) Was anyone I personally know hurt or killed in the attack?
2) Were any of the victims friends or family of people I know?
3) Is there going to be a war?

We’re going to remember this day for years and years, it’s incredible. The world has changed; I can feel it. It seems tonight like the stuff on the news is amazing and true, but it doesn’t seem real – not in the sense that I think any of us fully understand everything that’s gone on – everything about everyone who’s been affected by this, including ourselves.

For me, it feels exciting and horrifying at the same time, and I almost feel as if it’ll be gone tomorrow, or at least people will still be reporting on it and nothing will have changed from tonight’s events. Of course, that’s not true.

Interestingly enough, I had been watching the news on an almost daily basis for over a year, waiting for something like this to happen. When the second Palestinian intifada began in 2000, I spent all my free time at school on the internet, checking on the latest developments in the Middle East. When the nightly news stopped covering it, I became so disgusted I stopped watching TV news.

So I already knew who Osama Bin Laden was. I knew all about the Taliban and their egregious human rights abuses in Afghanistan. I heard about the USS Cole only hours after it was attacked, and I was disgusted that the US government wasn’t doing more to defend us from terrorism.

So when the 9/11 attacks happened, I felt simultaneously excited and guilty. Finally, after months and months of slow news, something BIG is happening! But people are dying, too–thousands of people. Is it wrong to be excited? But I’m sad too–does that make it all right? How should I feel about this?

I’m not scared, I’m not terrified like the terrorists want, I’m not angry about all this – I’m just in shock, waiting to see how it all plays out. This is BIG!

Of course, the mental and emotional impact of the attacks were much larger than I understood at the time. I didn’t feel a sense of peace in my life until sometime the next week, when I watched a special LDS devotional broadcast from the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. Even then, the impact of the attacks continued to transform me in ways that I didn’t fully understand.

Before the end of the school year, I wrote a short story that amalgamated all of the ways that the events of that year had changed my life. It was my first creative writing project since elementary school that I’d actually finished, and I found it surprisingly cathartic. If you care to read it, you can download it here:

THE DREAM DIARY

The writing is terrible, the plot is cheesy, and it gets a little preachy towards the end, but it’s more honest and genuine than anything else I can possibly say.

After the shock and horror and fear and sadness, the events of that day ultimately brought me closer to God and the people around me. It also led to a lifelong fascination of Middle Eastern cultures alien to my own–and the desire to show that no matter our background or culture, we are all equally human.

That’s the best way to defeat evil–become a better person because of it.

What’s for lunch?

So a few weeks ago, I decided I needed to make some changes in my life and start eating healthier. I figured the best way to do this was to experiment with Middle Eastern cuisine, because:

1) it’s healthy,
2) it’s cheap, and
3) it’s fun!

First, I made a batch of pita bread, using this recipe (with 2 tbs sugar instead of 1). Pita bread is way easy to make; just roll them out and toss in the oven for four or five minutes. After letting the dough rise, it usually takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to make a batch.

Pita bread is both cheap and tasty. A batch of pita bread roughly equals as much as a loaf of bread and costs considerably less (considering each ingredient by amount used). One thing I’ve found, though, is that pita bread doesn’t keep very well–after only a week, it starts getting moldy. This happens regardless of whether or not it’s refrigerated.

I’ve tried letting the dough sit in the refrigerator overnight to enrich the flavor, but I’ve found that doing that makes the final product drier and more crumbly. Besides, I can barely taste the difference. It takes a bit more time, but I prefer cooking it right after letting the dough rise, usually for 90 minutes to an hour.

Next, I made the hummus. Store bought hummus is ridiculously expensive, especially considering that you can make it yourself from relatively cheap ingredients found in any American grocery store. The one possible exception to that is the tahini, but you can still make a tasty batch of the stuff without it.

To make the hummus, I used:

one 2 lb bag of dried garbanzo beans (otherwise known as chick peas)
6-10 cloves of garlic
3-5 tbs lemon juice
1-2 cups water
2-3 tbs peanut butter
paprika, cumin, and salt to taste

I can’t say exactly how much of any ingredient I used because I eyeballed most of it. That’s generally the way I cook everything. Still, it turned out great!

I used dry beans instead of canned because I wanted to avoid the sodium. Plus, dried beans are way cheaper. I let them soak overnight (and found that they generally expand to 3 times their initial volume–plan on it!) and cooked them for about two hours–basically, until they were tender enough to mush apart between my fingers.

As an experiment, I substituted peanut butter for the tahini. Tahini is basically sesame seed butter, and it tastes almost the same as regular peanut butter. I found, though, that using too much peanut butter overpowers the flavor of the garbanzo beans and gives it a weird taste. In the future, I’ll probably skip the peanut butter (or add sesame oil–I wonder if that would work?).

To make hummus, you really need to have a good quality blender. I went to my brother-in-law’s parents and used theirs. Of course, I left them a pie tin full of the stuff to say thank you! With a two pound bag of dried garbanzo beans to start with, I had PLENTY left over, as you can see from the photo.

All told, if you know what you’re doing, you can make hummus in large quantities for extremely cheap. I can make the equivalent of a $10 bucket of Costco hummus for about $2-$3 from scratch. A pie tin of the stuff, with the whole beans, paprika, and olive oil sprinkled on top for presentation, would cost much less–yet in an American restaurant you’d probably pay $15 or more.

(By the way, pita bread with hummus and fresh cilantro tastes heavenly.)

For the vegetable part, I diced up some cucumber, onion, tomato, bell pepper, and cilantro, with a touch of lemon juice. For flavor, I added a pickle (the restaurants in Jordan serve pickles with just about every meal) with a tiny bit of olive oil on top.

Let me tell you, the end result was a resounding success! I’ve been eating this stuff for lunch for the past week, and it is delicious! Not to mention that it’s nearly twice as cheap as what I was eating before, and at least ten times as healthy. Yeah!

My next culinary experiment will either be with Egyptian koshari or something to do with the million cherry tomatoes I picked at the McQueen’s house over the weekend. I’ve also got a bag of frozen chicken, and I wonder if I can make some tasty shawarma if I marinate it in the yogurt I got on sale. By the way, yogurt on pita bread with whole olives makes another delicious Middle Eastern snack.

Anyways, that’s what I’ve been up to. If you want to try this out or have any ideas or suggestions, let me know! I’d love to hear about it.

Story Notebook #3 (part 2)

Alright, I said I’d finish running through my third story notebook, so here it is. After all, there’s no better time than now:

The song, btw, is from Summoning of Spirits, quite possibly the best fanmade video game soundtrack that ocremix has put out. Oh, and it’s completely free; did I mention that? If you want to download it, you can find it here.

Anyways, on to the story ideas:

First line: “The invisible pink unicorn in the room sneezed.”

Hahaha! Martha, this one’s for you!

Theory: all of us have a mechanism in our brains that helps us relate to other people, to see ourselves in them. But over time, we learn to shut it off, because so long as that mechanism is working, we can’t do anything to hurt other people. If we can’t relate, we can’t care and can’t feel the pain of the other.

Or maybe we learn to turn it off because it just hurts so much to feel others’ pain. We desensitize ourselves in order to survive this cruel world. But is a life disconnected from others’ pain and joy really worth living? Where is the balance?

A writer who uses himself as an alpha reader by going to an alternate universe in which he never became a writer –> told from the point of view of the alternate person, who wishes he’d become a writer but never did.

I’m pretty sure I got this idea from a short story that Mechmuse published before it went under. You can still find it here. Normally, I have a policy of not writing stories about writers (since it’s so overdone), but for this one, I might be willing to make an exception…that is, if no one beats me to it.

A democracy in which the president serves for ten years and is ceremoniously executed at the end of his/her term.

Hey, that’s what they used to do to the ancient kings in Europe: when the king got old and the time came for him to hand over his kingdom, the druid-priests would ceremoniously execute him in front of the rest of the tribe.

The question is this: would such a custom lead to a better system of government? It would certainly weed out all the greedy scumbags who are only looking for money and power (which constitutes the majority of politicians). But who would take their place? Would the new politicos be any better?

How would foresight, like Atium, change sports? Like fantasy steroids, except different.

Thoughts while reading Mistborn. True story.

What if the Dome of the Rock was a magical portal to another world?

Hey, it’s possible. The circle/square/octagon motif represents a connection between heaven and earth, and scholars have never really figured out what the religious function of the structure was supposed to be.

And that concludes story notebook #3. Have fun writing!

Looking for work (and possibly an adventure)

Ever since graduation in May, I’ve been doing my best to support myself and be 100% financially independent. I haven’t gotten a steady, well-paying day job yet, but fortunately summers in Utah are cheap and I’ve more or less been able to make ends meet.

That’s not to say it’s been easy, though. I’m operating under an extremely limited budget, and things are only going to get worse in August. My current employment is more or less a dead end job, and I’m going to need to find something else if I want to stay in the black (and keep myself mentally sane).

Here’s what I’m trying to do to change that, in order of priority:

1) Apply for full/part time positions at BYU. My ideal job at this point would be to use my writing/editing/mentoring skills as a BYU employee in some capacity. Not only would I be able to stay in Utah Valley where all my writing contacts are, I’d be able to take classes at BYU for free! Besides, BYU is an organization behind which I can completely throw myself. Having graduated from there, I believe 110% in the university’s mission and the value of a BYU education.

The trouble is that there are probably hundreds of other graduates in my position trying to do that right now. More spots might open up quickly if the economy improves, but the competition is still going to be fierce.

2) Apply for a bookstore job in Utah Valley. Working in a bookstore might mesh very well with my aspirations to become a full-time writer. It would give me a chance to see a useful side of the publishing/bookselling industry, as well as opportunities to network with authors, readers, and booksellers. The pay might not be great, but as long as it’s full time and pays at least minimum wage, it would be enough.

I hear that a lot of local venues are going to be making hiring decisions later in August, as the summer term at BYU comes to an end and the students start moving back to Provo. For that reason, I’ve been holding out contacting places like Chapters (formerly Pioneer Books) and Barnes and Noble–the last thing I want is for my resume/application to get swamped under a huge pile of other applicants.

3) Apply for a Wilderness Therapy job. There are a lot of these in Utah, and I hear that they’re always looking for new staff. The work is strenuous–one to three weeks out in the wilderness with a bunch of troubled teens, living in survivalist conditions–but the life experience may well be worth the extended time commitment. Besides, considering how much it will cut down my living expenses (since I won’t be spending money in the wilderness), the pay should be pretty good. I may be able to save up a sizable amount.

The main reason I’d want to do this is because of the adventure. I feel that at this point in my life, I need to do something big–something I can look back and point at as a major milestone or accomplishment. For this reason, I almost want to take a wilderness job more than a BYU or bookstore job, but the tradeoffs are pretty serious. My social life will probably suffer, as well as my daily writing schedule.

Redcliff Ascent has their next staff training session in September. If I’m still looking for work by then, I’ll probably take it.

4) Try to find some opportunity in the Middle East. When I came back from Washington DC in April, I decided to hold out for a year before returning to the Middle East to see how the tensions between Iran, Israel, and Lebanon play out. While I still think there will be a war, however, I’m less worried about getting caught up in a bad situation if I’m in, say, Jordan or Egypt.

This would also be an awesome adventure. The trouble, though, is how it may cut into my writing career here in the states. I’ve already bought tickets to World Fantasy 2010 in October, so I probably won’t be leaving before then. Besides, most Middle East jobs only pay enough to cover living expenses–not enough to save up, or even buy a ticket back. Getting stranded in a developing country might not be so fun.

5) Take any part-time retail/labor job I can find in Utah Valley. This is the last option, because I don’t want to end up with a job that, for all intents and purposes, isn’t going to lead to anything bigger and better. If it pays the bills, though, might as well take it.

That’s what I’m currently trying to do to improve my employment situation. In the meantime, I’m looking up part time jobs and gigs on craigslist and trying to be as resourceful as I can. It’s not fun being poor.

Inshallah, though, something big will come my way. I have every confidence that things will work out for the best, whatever happens.

Image courtesy Postsecret.

Take me to Arabia

Recently, I’ve found myself nearly overwhelmed by the sudden urge to run away to the Middle East and go totally and irrevocably native. It may pass, but I still want to go back there–really bad.

So I looked up BYU’s TESOL certification program, and figured I could apply in January, start fall of ’11, and be on my way to an Arabian adventure in ’12.

Or…I could bypass the whole certification thing altogether, but I’d probably get a crappier job. Besides, the certification could lead to other things, like perhaps an actual stable day job. Who knows?

Regardless, I should probably find some way to actually use my Arabic degree. After all, why did I get it in the first place? Better put it to use!

So why am I tripping out on Middle East stuff? Interestingly enough, I think it has a lot to do with the current novel I’m writing, Worlds Away from Home. I started it in fall ’08, just after getting back from BYU’s 2008 Jordan study abroad program, and the influence is definitely very visible.

Sometimes it makes me cringe a little, though; the fictional culture is patterned after my understanding of and experiences with Arab culture, but…it’s very pseudo Arab, if that make sense. Kind of like it looks Arab, but it feels more Western. I don’t know–I guess what I’m saying is that it’s bad (or maybe I just think that because I’m in the middle of the rough draft, when everything I write is utter and absolute crap. Blegh).

But the thing is, if I try to make the culture truly foreign, I’m worried it will be more of a barrier to the reader than a gateway. In other words, it’s the classic science fiction problem of aliens: the more you succeed in making your aliens truly alien, the harder it is for the reader to understand or sympathize with them.

But then again, isn’t that why we read? To be transported to different times and places, experience other people and cultures, and be exposed to new ideas? To expand our minds and enrich our understanding? If that’s the case, there’s got to be something good and healthy about immersing the reader in a totally foreign culture.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any easier.

Oh well. I’m up for the challenge. In the meantime, I’ll keep reading T. E. Lawrence’s The Seven Pillars of Wisdom and continuously loop all my Arab pop. Not familiar with Arabic music? Here’s a really good one:

Track 5

(ps: I’d tell you who wrote/performs the song, but frankly I have no idea. Unfortunately, copyright doesn’t really exist in the Middle East. Oh well. Enjoy!)

Quick update

Just a quick update on things, since it’s been forever since I’ve blogged.

The Utah Valley Democrats offered me a position, but it wasn’t the internship they’d advertised, so I turned it down. They wanted me to do all their phone surveys, for 20 hours per week at $8.50 an hour, working evenings and Saturdays from now until November. Basically, they wanted me to do the same crappy job that I’m already doing, but for less pay, more hours, and with significantly less flexibility. Needless to say, I wasn’t too thrilled.

I sent out Mercenary Savior 3.0 to my beta readers. If you weren’t included in that list, don’t be offended–I’m trying to get feedback from some new people who haven’t read the previous drafts, to see what they think. I’m hoping to start the next revision of that novel sometime in August; my goal is to have it polished in time for World Fantasy 2010, which I will be attending.

Worlds Away from Home is coming along, but much too slowly. I want to finish it by August 15th, which means that I should be writing between 2.5k and 3k words per day. Right now, I’m averaging about 1.5k–not bad, but not enough either. I need to take some time and immerse myself in this project.

At the same time, I really need to find a decent day job. The one I’ve got right now is good for summer stuff, but I don’t want to be doing it long term. Ideas for a more semi-permanent job include:

Working in a bookstore
Teaching Arabic
Getting a wilderness job (see previous post)
Getting an editing internship
Freelance translating (I’m a little uneasy about this)
Finding a job in the Middle East and living/traveling there for a year

I’m a little wary of the last one, given the current political situation, but if things improve, I could see myself moving out there in the fall. It depends on what I can find, of course–and for that reason, I’m considering signing up for the TESOL certificate program here at BYU.

I don’t know, though. There’s a lot to do, a lot to figure out. It’s hard to balance it all, but I’m doing what I can. Whatever happens, though, I’m sure it will all work out.

Near scare and an awesome idea for the next novel

I wrote 1,780 words this morning–not bad. After such a good start, I figured I’d finish the last 720 for the day after finishing the day’s errands.

Long story short, when I finally settled in at 11pm to do a little writing before going to bed, I had some weird problems. Openoffice froze up, I ended it prematurely, and it turned out that that somehow corrupted one of the files I had opened. Instead of being 370 KB, it was now over 1,000 KB, and every time I tried to write something, it froze up for nearly half a minute.

In the end, I had to delete it.

Fortunately, this was NOT the main file for Mercenary Savior. Thank goodness! It was just the revision notes. I had copies of both (both about a week old), but I’m glad it wasn’t the main file, because I’d have lost over thirty pages of revisions. Yikes.

On a totally different note, I had an awesome dream this morning–one that I’m totally using in next novel I’m going to write (probably recycling much of Hero in Exile). It’s hard to describe it exactly, which is why I added this really weird picture to this post.

You may be wondering, “what the crap is that supposed to be?” I’ll tell you: it’s Arab. It’s Arab on so many different levels it makes me happy inside. I took it from the facebook profile pictures album of an old friend of mine from the ELC in Provo. What’s so Arab about it? Well, there’s 1) King Abdullah II 2) in battle fatigues 3) waving to the people 4) with an eagle in the background 5) wearing a Bedouin hutta 6) and some kind of military insignia on the agal. So freaking Arab.

So what was my dream? Well, it was kind of like a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and…a lot of weird stuff. At one point, King Hussein of Jordan commanded me to go into the desert east of Jerusalem and raise an army. I had a lot of questions, so he explained exactly what he wanted me to do–and in so doing, he explained exactly how the Bedouin fight wars.

Instead of keeping a standing army, a military leader must draw the warriors of the other tribes to his banner through his charisma, egalitarianism, reputation, etc. The warriors join his campaign, not to serve some grand concept of country, but to win spoils and glory. Once the campaign ends, they disband and return to their tribes until the next leader rallies them together.

Because of the way this works, a charismatic leader can pass through the desert virtually by himself, only to come out on the other side with a fearsome army. This is what happened in Lawrence of Arabia when Lawrence took Aqaba–he passed through the desert with a token force of barely fifty men, but the feat (and his brilliant diplomatic skills) so impressed the Bedouins on the other side that they rallied to him and stormed the city. From the Turks’ point of view, the army came out of nowhere and crushed them.

So that’s what I’m thinking I need to do at some point in my next novel: have the main character, poor and destitute, go out to the desert and rally the tribes with nothing but his charisma. I’ve already got the rough (VERY rough) outline of the story in my head, and this plot point fits perfectly into this one section where I was worrying that things lagged too much.

Oh man, I’ve got such awesome plans for this book! But first, must revise Mercenary Savior and send it out. Don’t worry, I’m enthusiastic about that project, too. It will get done! Momentum is building–I’ll more than make up those 720 words tomorrow.

Goodbye DC

So I have some crazy, unbelievable news to share: I got fired from my internship, under disputed circumstances. That’s right: fired from my unpaid internship four weeks before it was scheduled to end.

The exact reasons for the termination were never made completely clear to me, but I suspect politics played a significant role and that’s all I’m going to say about it here. If you want to know more, please contact me privately.

Fortunately, the Washington Seminar people have agreed to let me get credit for my academic work–which means that I’ll be able to graduate. I’ve been sent home early, but I can still pass the class with a C/C-.

Oh well. In some ways, this kind of sucks, but in other ways, it’s a blessing in disguise. I learned everything that I needed to learn from my internship: that I don’t want to pursue a career in government or policy making.

Government work is long, hard, and very intensive. It also involves office politics, sitting behind a desk, and fighting entrenched bureaucracies. It’s not the kind of career that allows time for family, let alone writing. And the payoff? The common refrain I heard was that the work was “interesting.” Not “meaningful,” “life-changing,” “personally enriching,” or any of that–just “interesting.”

Nope. Not for me.

I also learned that the kind of people who are attracted to Washington DC are not the kind of people I feel very comfortable around. Generally speaking, Washington DC tends to attract people who are ambitious, self-absorbed, arrogant, loud, poor listeners, opinionated, and oblivious of the people around them. This certainly wasn’t true of everyone, both at the institute and at the Barlow center, but I found they were the exceptions to the rule.

I will say a few positive things, though. DC has some excellent museums and monuments–the best of any I’ve seen anywhere else. In particular, I found the FDR memorial, the Portrait Gallery, and the science and innovation exhibit at the American History Museum particularly moving.

In terms of people, ironically, the ones that struck me as most sincere and genuine were all politicians. In particular, I was struck by Congressman Matheson and Senator Bennett. I’m not sure if I would vote for either of them–it depends on their stance on the issues–but they both struck me as intelligent, well meaning, good people.

I will also say that my respect for the military went up significantly. After hearing so many people spout of so much self-important hot air about this or that political issue, it was remarkably refreshing to see people who were willing to put their lives on the line for their country. To any servicemen reading this, thank you for all you do. I have nothing but the deepest respect and admiration for you.

My experience in the Barlow center was generally quite positive. I had an excellent roommate and made quite a few friends. I’m sorry if I seemed kind of aloof most of the time–it’s probably because I was miserable for other reasons and didn’t realize it. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone again back in Provo.

So, what’s the plan now? Finish the academic side of things ASAP, then head back to Utah. I’ve got a lot of old friends I want to catch up with before the summer, not to mention the last couple English 318 classes. That’s one thing I sorely missed this semester–English 318. Beyond that, I don’t quite know–a lot of things are still in the air. I’m confident, however, that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

Career chat at high tea

So my Turkish supervisor at WINEP took us new interns (all four of us) out to the Mayflower hotel last week for high tea, where we talked about how things have been going for us at the institute so far. It was interesting–the first time this Mormon boy has been out to tea, particularly in such an upscale setting.

One of the questions he asked was “what are your long term career goals?” I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I know what I didn’t say–that I wanted to break into publishing and become a novelist.

(Just in cast my supervisor reads this, I want to make it clear I wasn’t uncomfortable talking about my literary aspirations with him; it was just that the conversation at the table seemed to be headed in a very different direction, and I didn’t want to derail it. Everyone else was talking about grad school, study abroad, government, that sort of thing–and I got the sense that that’s really what my supervisor wanted to talk about.)

My experiences in the past three weeks in Washington DC have only confirmed and strengthened my goals to pursue writing as a full-time career. At the same time, though, I’m starting to realize that I don’t have to limit myself to one career track; many people in this “town” (as everyone calls it) bounce around in multiple careers, some of them quite different. It’s not so much about working a “day job” until you get published, so much as doing multiple things and being ambitious.

That said, I don’t see myself pursuing a career in policy-making. Everyone I see doing that is working overtime, all the time. Instead, I want to find something that’s going to facilitate and reinforce my writing career.

There are some things I like very much about where I’m working, though. One of those is the emphasis on the Middle East–such a fascinating and dynamic part of the world, rich in history and culture. Another thing I love is how informed I am about current events–never in my life have I been so up to date in what’s going on in the region. The news really comes to life when you’re keeping up with it on an hour by hour basis. And I also enjoy the more academic-ish feel to the place here–the emphasis on research and scholarly pursuits.

Some things, though, I really don’t like. One of those is being stuck in an office all day. The people I work with are great–I couldn’t ask for better. But the office environment, with its dynamics…I don’t enjoy being in an office all day. The same goes for wearing a suit and a tie–I’m not a big fan.

In short, I really don’t know where I’m headed in my non-writing career; nothing has really “clicked” yet (if anything, just the opposite). But whatever I do, it’s probably going to involve something Middle East, and something that helps to facilitate my literary aspirations. That’s all I know for now.

Finishing and beginning

Classes for this semester are over, I’ve turned in all my papers, taken all my exams but one, and now I feel like I have this giant void in my life. I was walking around on campus today with literally no idea where I was going or what I should do.

It was…strange.

With school out, I’m getting ready to leave Provo for good. I won’t be coming back for the winter, seeing as I’ll be in Washington DC. As for post graduation plans, nothing’s solid, but I probably won’t be coming back to Utah. Not for a while, at least.

It’s exciting and scary, but mostly exciting. 2010 is going to mark the end of my academic career and my first venture into the real world. Beyond this internship, I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I’m starting to formulate some plans. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Post-graduation options:

Go to grad school
Work side jobs while writing novels
Travel across the Middle East for a year or two
Start a career in Washington DC

The first option (grad school) isn’t going to happen right away. I’ve already decided that I’m not going to go to grad school until I have a definite plan for what I want to accomplish with it (an “exit strategy,” if you will). Interning in Washington might give me an idea of what I want to study, but I’ll probably take a year off from academics just the same.

The second option (side jobs & writing) is an interesting option that I haven’t really thought through. It would involve a lot more focus on writing and trying to get published, but it would also involve a lot of uncertainty until my writing career really gets launched. However, I’d have a lot of flexibility in where I could live. I could stay in Washington DC, or move back to Massachusetts, or come back to Utah.

The third option (travel) is definitely the most exciting and adventurous of the four. It would involve living in a Middle Eastern country for a year or two, teaching English to support myself while I see the country and work on my writing. Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt, even the Gulf…man, it would be awesome! I have friends from the MESA program who are doing it, too.

Man, that would be fun–and definitely give me a lot to write about, besides awesome life experiences! Finding a girl and settling down, though…probably not going to happen until I get back. That’s the downside.

The fourth option (career) is entirely dependent on what happens this winter in Washington. If I find that I love what I’m doing with my internship, I’ll probably look to get a job with WINEP or an organization like it. I’ve got to admit, it would certainly give me a comforting degree of direction and certainty if such were the case–to graduate with a job in hand, doing something that I love.

At the same time, however, there’s a danger that a career in this field might not leave me with much time to pursue my writing. My dream job is still to be a full-time novelist, and I need to remember that while I’m in Washington. If I find that my work with WINEP leaves me with little to no time to write, I’ll have to re-evaluate my plans.

So really, this internship in Washington is going to be more about testing the waters than anything else. I’m going to have to periodically ask myself 1) whether this is the kind of work I find enjoyment and personal fulfillment doing, 2) whether this is the kind of work I can balance with a writing career, and 3) what opportunities are available for me in this particular field. Since it all depends on how the internship goes, I can anticipate one of three things happening:

Possible reactions to my internship:

I love the work that I do for my internship.
I hate the work that I do for my internship.
I am utterly indifferent to the work I do for my internship.

If #1 is the case, I should focus on getting a job from my internship connections, provided I can still make time to write while doing this kind of work. If not, I can probably still find a similar career path that does allow me enough time to pursue a writing career on the side.

If #2 is the case, it means that policy making and research is not my thing, but I still have a passion for the Middle East. Taking a year or two off to travel will become a very appealing option at that point.

If #3 is the case, it means that I’m going to have to completely retool. I have no idea what I’ll end up doing if this happens. Travel, maybe–but what good would it do me, if a Middle East related career doesn’t interest me? Maybe I’ll take a year off to work on my math and go back to grad school for astronomy. Maybe I’ll work odd jobs like Robert Charles Wilson until I get published. Maybe I’ll become a hobo and vanish into obscurity. I don’t know.

Whatever happens, writing is going to be a priority. If I can make an adequate living writing fiction, I’m going to do it. Which makes me wonder–what does that mean about all my other plans? Is all of this Middle East stuff just a temporary fix until I get published, hopefully in the next five years? Or is it something more permanent?

I have absoultely no idea, but this post is already getting pretty long, so I’ll cut it here. Regardless what happens, however, I’m 100% confident that everything will work out in the way that it should. These life changes are more exciting than they are scary. I’m looking forward to the new year very much!