Kickstarter update, new blurb, and cover art for Journey to Jordan

First things first: with sixteen days to go, Desert Stars is currently about 36% funded.  If you haven’t picked up any of my books yet, this is a good place to start: I feel confident that it’s my best work yet.  $10 will get you a copy with your name in the front under “special thanks”–$25 will get you that plus everything I’ve published so far.  So check it out!

To keep the kickstarter campaign moving, I decided to update the blurb for Desert Stars.  Here’s what I came up with:

He was the sole heir to the Najmi camp, a young man raised by tribesmen after falling to the desert from the stars. She was the sheikh’s most beautiful daughter, promised his hand in marriage–if she can convince him to stay.

Together, they must travel to a land where glass covers the sky and men traverse the stars as easily as tribesmen cross the desert. Here, at the ancient temple dedicated to the memory of Earth, they hope to find the answers that will show them the way home.

But when love and honor clash, how can they face their destiny when it threatens to tear them apart?

So what do you think?  Does it grab you, or do I need to change anything?

Finally, I’m currently in the process of preparing my travel journals from the 2008 BYU Jordan study abroad trip for publication.  This is one that I’m doing 100% by myself–editing, cover art, etc.  If anyone wants to volunteer to make a proofreading pass, I would greatly appreciate it.  Currently, I’m about 1/3 of the way through; I hope to finish putting it together by December 1st.

In the meantime, here’s the cover art:

Pretty nifty, eh?  What do you think?

The ever elusive title

Man, titles are so freaking hard.  I just spent the last two hours trying to think of a better title for Into the Nebulous Deep, my current work in progress.  Here’s what my brainstorming looked like:

Deep Nebula

Heart of the Nebula

Serve and Protect

Love in the Deep

A Light in the Deep

Through to Freedom

We Won’t Surrender

Our Own

A Wolf in the Deep

To a New Place

In Search of a New Place

Flight to a New Place

Finding a New Place

Hope of a New Place

To Hope for a New Place

Hoping for a New Place

Reaching for a New Place

Striving for a New Place

Searching for a New Place

Heading for a New Place

Flying to a New Place

Voyage to a New Place

Journey to a New Place

Reaching for a New Place

Together in a New Place

Home to a New Place

Free in a New Place

Forward to a New Place

Forth to a New Place

Starry New Place

To a New Place

Some of those are pretty bad–but hey, it’s brainstorming right?  There are no stupid questions, only stupid…

Anyway, I think I’m leaning more toward “To a New Place” or “Home to a New Place.” I’m curious, though, to hear what you guys think. If you have a better idea for a title, please let me know.

The story takes place five years after the events of Bringing Stella Home, when James has become something of a maverick pilot in the Colony’s militia.  However, life under the Hameji occupation has become so difficult that their only real option is to evacuate the Colony and settle somewhere else.  In the process, James gets tied up in a love triangle that ends in a way that’s only possible in science fiction.

So what do you think of “To a New Place?” It might not be the best when viewed side by side with “Bringing Stella Home,” but yeah.  Actually, if I turn it into a trilogy within the series, it would be kind of cool to have all the titles form one giant sentence.

Or maybe it would be cool to get some sleep and think about it tomorrow.

Slogging along

So I’m working part time now, making ends meet as I get ready to finish up the year and go abroad for a while.  This time, I’m only doing about 20-30 hours per week, so it’s much easier to balance writing with everything.  Minecraft is still a distraction, but I think I’m finding a good balance.

Star Wanderers is coming along, but I made the mistake last week of reading some of the critical feedback on the first part while working on the second.  Not that the feedback is bad–it’s quite good, actually, and very helpful–but taking criticism on a work in progress put me into a temporary slump.  I think I’m most of the way out of it now, but progress is more sporadic than I’d want it to be.

However, I just started revising Into the Nebulous Deep today, and I’m very excited about that.  Into the Nebulous Deep is a direct sequel to Bringing Stella Home, featuring James, Lars, and the Colony five years after the events of the first novel.  I haven’t looked at it since May, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about it, so I think it’s time to dust it off and work on it again.

It definitely needs a new title, though; “Into the Nebulous Deep” is much too convoluted.  Anyone have any ideas?  I’m thinking something like “Heart of the Nebula” or “Into the Deep,” but neither of those have quite the right zing.

Even though I finished the first draft almost six months ago, no one has read this one yet.  It had some pretty big issues that I felt I needed to fix before sending it out to first readers, but I wanted to give it some time to settle before reworking it.

As if that’s not enough, I’m also working on getting Journey to Jordan up and published.  This book is more of a travel journal, so I’m self-editing it, but it’ll probably take a couple weeks before it’s up and ready.  I was going to publish it under a pseudonym, but now I think I’ll just keep it under my own name.  I’m not sure whether I should change the names of people mentioned in the book; I never say anything libelous about anyone, but if that’s the standard MO for works of non-fiction, then maybe I ought to do it.  In any case, my goal is to have it out over Thanksgiving break.

Other than that, not too much to report on.  I’m bringing back my travel blog in anticipation of going abroad, but I haven’t said anything particularly interesting other than “I’m back!”

Oh, and I’m reading Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet and thoroughly enjoying it.  I don’t generally like poetry, but Poe and Gibran–I could read them all day.

New guest post and blurb for Desert Stars

First of all, my latest guest post for the Bringing Stella Home blog tour is up at The Villain’s Worst Nightmare.  In it, I discuss where I got the idea for the Hameji, and how I world-builded (world-built?) their culture from the ground up.  Good stuff; you can find it here, along with another giveaway of Sholpan.

I just submitted a proposal to Kickstarter for Desert Stars.  I hope to raise at least $500 to help pay for editing and cover art, but the experience running the campaign should be useful too.  I’m a little bit nervous, but we’ll see how it goes.

One of the things they asked for was a description of the project, which is funny, because this week’s Writing Excuses was about pitching.  There’s a lot of good stuff in that episode, in case you haven’t heard it yet.  I don’t have a good blurb worked out for Desert Stars just yet, but this is what I came up with:

The short version

A tale of homecoming, intrigue, and romance on the fringes of an interstellar empire that has forgotten its holiest legend: the story of Earth.

The longer version

Jalil Ibn Sathi Al-Najmi wasn’t born in the desert; he fell from the sky when he was just a little boy. Now that he’s grown, he wants nothing more than to find his true home among the stars. But when the tribe that raised him conspires to shame him into a marriage that would keep him at the camp forever, he has to choose between honor, family, and the girl he loves.

Yeah, they both need work.  The short one isn’t short enough, and the long one has absolutely NOTHING about Mira, even though she’s arguably got the stronger character arc.  For those of you who’ve read the novel, what do you think it needs?  And for those of you who haven’t, does it interest you to read more, or not?

In other news, I revised through almost 15k words yesterday.  Man, it’s so nice having time to write again.  I’ll have to polish up my resume and start looking for work again sometime next week, but I’m glad I took the time off to work on Desert Stars.  I’m on track to finish this draft by the end of next week; after that, it shouldn’t need much more than a quick run-through before sending it off for the copy edits.  Needless to say, I’m excited. 🙂

How do you know when you’ve succeeded?

With books and publishing changing so quickly, a lot of writers are wondering how they can tell when they’ve actually “made it.” It’s a valid question, one that I think we all need to answer if we want to write seriously.  For myself in particular, as an indie writer, how will I know when I’ve achieved success?

The question made me think about my experience as a Mormon missionary in California, and the definition of success that my mission president (the ecclesiastical leader and father figure for the missionaries) often quoted:

Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.

— John Wooden

This definition taught me that success isn’t just about external things that may or may not be in your control (for example, the number of convert baptisms per month), but is more about doing the things that are in your control to stretch yourself and reach your full potential.  To be sure, external factors are important measures of success, but at the end of the day, it’s not just about the numbers.

That said, for a writer like me who hopes to make a living at it, the numbers are pretty dang important.  At my current standard of living, I need to sell between 550 and 750 ebooks per month priced at $2.99 and $3.95 to accomplish that goal.  Right now I’m doing about 30 to 50, so I still have a ways to go.

But is that the best measure of commercial success?  If I have 10 titles selling around 55 to 75 copies each per month, will those books be hitting their full potential?

Probably not.  For that reason, I’ll probably end up signing a deal with a publisher at some point in my career; there’s only so much that I can do by myself.  However, in order for me to do that, the terms have to be right; I’m not going to sell myself short just to see my name in print.

(This is one thing that bugs me whenever I hear writers discuss whether traditional or indie publishing best fits their goals.  If all you want is “to see my name in print,” or “to see my book in a bookstore,” how is that any different from vanity publishing?  If that’s really your goal, fine, but don’t think it somehow puts you above indie writers–many of whom have goals that are much more pragmatic than yours.)

Artistically, I think the best way for me to achieve success is to take on a new challenge with every project and still feel like each book is better than the one before it.  Contests and reviews have their place, but going back to the definition, success is all about self-satisfaction and peace of mind.  I don’t want to tie any of those to someone else’s opinion about my work–that way lies madness.

But really, I think it all comes down to the readers.  Unless you stuff your manuscript in the closet, writing is never a solitary act: it is an act of collaboration with the reader.  If I have any measure of success, it will be because someone took the time to read my words.  To be sure, I can’t please everyone, but that doesn’t matter; it only takes one person to make a story come alive.

When I was a missionary, I constantly asked myself whether I was doing the will of God in the life of every person that I met.  That’s how I knew that I had succeeded: when I felt the peace of mind that came from knowing I’d made that personal difference in someone’s life.

I expect it to be similar with my writing.  Commercial success is great, but numbers aren’t everything.  What really matters is telling a story that connects with people on a deep and personal level, transforming them in some meaningful way.  If I can do that and make a living at it, that’s how I’ll know I’ve succeeded.

Going camping and novella update

Just a quick update on things:

I’m going camping this weekend up Huntington Reservoir with some friends, so I won’t be around for a couple of days.  It should be fun; last trip was a good chance to step back and recharge, and I definitely could use that right now.

At the same time, I’m working on Sholpan, and it’s turning out to be a lot harder than I’d initially thought.  I’m writing it as a companion novella to Bringing Stella Home, where the story covers Stella’s point of view through about the first half of the novel, with a few extras for the people who read the novel first, and enough loose ends to entice people who read the novella first to pick up the full-length novel.

It’s turning out to be a difficult balancing act, however.  The first draft was basically just all of Stella’s scenes up to the last three/four chapters of the novel, and that ended up being too much.  For those who read the novel first, it didn’t have anything new, and for those who hadn’t read it, it revealed far too much.

So for the next draft, I decided to trim it right up to the point where Stella’s story has its first major twist.  Even though that includes a minor spoiler for the novel, it gives the novella a great story arc with a good reversal.

But that leaves the question: what does the story need in order to be satisfying to those who read the novel first?

I’m not a huge fan of flashbacks, but after wrestling over the last few days with the beginning, I think it’s better to start in media res, which makes flashbacks unavoidable.  I’ll try not to botch them.  Also, I think I’ll give some more background information about her and Lars, as well as develop her relationship with Narju.  But the last thing I want to do is pad the novella with useless filler.

I dunno; what do you think?  If you read and enjoyed a novel, what sort of shorter work based on that story would you want to see?  And if you started with the novella first, how much would be too much, and how much would be too little?

Oh, and in case you’re interested, I took your feedback and redesigned the cover:

Thanks!  I’ll see you when I get back in a couple of days.

Should authors respond to reviews?

In the last six days since it went free, “From the Ice Incarnate” has had almost 2,250 downloads, and with so much attention, reviews are starting to trickle in.  Amazon has a very elegant system, which not only allows other readers to vote on whether a review is helpful, but to comment and start a discussion.

This raises a question, however; when is it appropriate for an author to respond to a review?  I’ve seen answers that go all over the board; some readers love it, while others are adamant that writers should never respond in any way–that to do so would be consummately unprofessional.

From an indie writer’s perspective, this is especially tricky.  On the one hand, we want to engage with our readers, since that’s a crucial part of making this into a viable career (Seth Godin makes some excellent points on that subject).  On the other hand, because reviews are so subjective and judgmental, there’s a very real danger that any discussion involving the author could turn very nasty, very quickly.

Whenever anyone posts a positive review of my work, I want to thank them.  If I only respond to positive reviews, though, that could make me look like I’m ignoring the critical ones.  But if I acknowledge the critical reviews that are thoughtful and well reasoned, what do I do with the inevitable one star reviews written by someone who’s just plain crazy?

The last thing I want is to be forced into taking a reactionary position in a public discussion.  While I’m confident I can keep my ego in check and avoid outright argument, that’s not the only danger I foresee here.  Besides, I believe very firmly that the story should speak for itself, and for that reason I think it’s better for the author to be as invisible as possible.

At the same time, I really do want to thank those who take the time to post a glowing review.  Perhaps the best option is to acknowledge them here or on twitter instead of Amazon?  I’m not sure.  And sometimes, questions arise that aren’t related to the story, where responding directly to the review is the most efficient way to handle it.

In any case, I’m going to be cautious for now, at least until I find a position that makes sense.  If you have any suggestions for how I can balance these concerns, please let me know.

And for those of you who have posted kind reviews: thank you!

How’s my new blog template?

It’s up!  What do you think?

I especially like the sidebar layout, with the featured item on top and the double sidebars below.  I think I’m going to put all my promotional stuff (books, social networks) on the right sidebar, with all the blog stuff (tags, archives, recent comments, blogroll, etc) on the left.

I’m not so sure about the Current Projects bar, though.  Does it look good on the left, or should I put it on the right, above my books?  I don’t want the sidebar to look too busy, but at the same time I don’t want to push my books too far down from the top.

I made a few tweaks to the color scheme, though there will probably be a few more kinks to work out in that area.  The black text on white is a radical departure from the previous template, which is going to take a while for me to get used to.  However, now that my blogging goals have shifted from personal to more professional, I think it’s a move in the right direction.

Things I’d like to change but don’t know how:

  • The blog header font.  I’d like to go back to Courier New small caps, like the old one.  Every time I try to tweak the CSS stylesheet, though, nothing I do seems to work.
  • Font size for pages and categories (pages are above the blog header, categories are below). Jerle pointed out that they could be larger, and I agree with him.
  • Background color for the child category pages.  They blend in too much with the current shade of gray.
  • The favicon.  I don’t want the generic WordPress logo, I want to make something unique to this site (like the eye).

That’s about all I can think of right now, but I’m definitely open to any of your suggestions.  My goal is to turn this blog into a home site for my writing career, where readers can connect with me and easily find my stuff.

Also, if you have any cool ideas for my Error! 404 page, please let me know.  Those are always fun.

Blurb for Bringing Stella Home and thoughts on Borders

One of the essential elements for a successful in epublishing is a killer book description, and I think I’ve got a pretty decent one for Bringing Stella Home.  However, I could use some feedback, so if you could read it and tell me what you think, that would be great. Here it is:

It is a dark time for the galactic empire. Rebellions at Tajjur and the New Pleiades sap the empire’s strength from within, while hordes of spacefaring Hamiji warriors from the outer reaches sweep ever closer to the Imperial capitol, slagging entire worlds in their wake.

When the Hameji forces conquer his homeworld, young James McCoy runs away to rescue his older brother and sister, Ben and Stella, from their grasp. Though he faces an enemy undefeated in battle and feared throughout all of inhabited space, James will stop at nothing–not even death–to get his brother and sister back.

Things start to look up when he meets Danica Nova, a Tajji mercenary captain who takes him in and becomes his mentor. James reminds Danica of her own brother, whom she failed to protect when the empire slaughtered her family years ago. Now, she hopes to find some redemption from her demons by saving James from his own.

Unfortunately, neither of them realizes that Stella has become a concubine to the main Hameji overlord–and that Ben has been brainwashed and made into an elite shock trooper in the empath squadron sent to hunt them down.

So what do you think?  Too long, too confusing, too cliche, or too boring?  The genre (if you can’t tell) is space opera / space adventure, so I’m hoping it will appeal to fans of Orson Scott Card, C. J. Cherryh, Lois McMaster Bujold, Star Wars & Star Trek, etc.  It’s also got a slight military science fiction bent to it, though I wouldn’t presume to be qualified to write true military sf.

In unrelated news, I recently did an interview with Charlie of Playground51, which appears to be down for some reason (the link is on my Blog Tour page above).  Topics discussed include how I got the idea for Genesis Earth, which parts were inspired by real life, and thoughts on book promotion.  Hopefully the site will be up again soon!

Also, I’m thinking it’s time to do a major overhaul of my blog template.  As much as I love the current one with the purple stars and nebulae, I need something with two sidebars so that my books don’t push everything else to the bottom.  If you have some ideas for a good WordPress template that still keeps the sci-fi feel of this one, please let me know!  I’m very much open to suggestions.

Finally, since the Borders liquidation is all over the news, I thought I’d share my $.02.  It’s sad, certainly, but I don’t think that the fallout will be nearly as gloomy as Joshua Bilmes claims.

Corporate-run big box stores are certainly on the way out, but there will always be a market for good stories, and in many ways the new ebook technology is causing that market to expand at a wonderful rate.  So while the predictions of the print death spiral appear to be coming true (David Gaughran did a great post recently on that), new models will emerge–indeed, are already emerging–which will fill the vacuum.

The thing that gives me great reason to hope is that these new business models give so much power back to writers.  Instead of relying on the mercies of large media corporations to build a viable career, we can now make a living by publishing independently or going with any number of small independent presses.  Readers have more choices and writers have more options.  It’s glorious.

If anything, the Borders bankruptcy has confirmed to me that I’ve made the right choice to go indie, rather than wait for New York to anoint me before launching my career.  Will I ever go with a traditional publisher?  I’d like to someday, but I no longer feel dependent on the old system to accomplish my dreams.  Instead, it’s my readers who will decide my fate, and that’s exactly as it should be.

So thanks for reading!

Desert Stars 3.0 is finished!

That’s right; after almost exactly two months of writing, the third draft of Desert Stars is now complete!

This is the first draft where I feel that things are truly coming together the way they should be, where the story is transforming into something that not only works, but is actually fairly awesome. I’m probably not the best judge, though, so I’ll have to send it out to another round of first readers to get their reactions to it, but I don’t think this will need more than one more draft before it’s ready to go to a copy editor.

Anyhow, here are the stats:

ms pages: 505
words: 108,468
file size: 246 KB
chapters: 22, prologue & epilogue
start date: 16 May 2011
end date: 18 Jul 2011

And the Wordle:

Wordle: Desert Stars 3.0

The most influential song in the writing of this draft comes from an mp3 cd of Arabic music that a friend in Jordan gave me while I was studying over there in 2008. The title is فرحة عمرانة بالدار, which apparently translates to “The Joy of _____ in Casablanca.” I know absolutely nothing else about it, other than it sounds very Arab. Since Desert Stars is essentially about a far-future Arab society, it resonated quite well.

The hardest part of writing this draft was probably at the very end, when my daily routine fell to pieces and I completely lost my stride. This seems to happen a lot whenever I’m trying to finish something, which reflects in my daily word count charts.

But the ending itself was not particularly hard to write; in fact, it was quite fun. A bunch of previous changes came together in a way that just clicked, including some spontaneous ones that I hadn’t planned for at all. As a result, I’m really excited about this draft and hope to get it out as an ebook before Christmas.

One question, for those of you who have read the previous draft: do you think I could justify splitting the story into two separate novels and selling them each at a lower cost? I hate books that end on a cliffhanger, but one of my first readers thought that this might work, and it would certainly give me more stuff to epublish.

Also, if you haven’t read a previous draft and would like to be a first reader, please let me know. I only send my rough work out to people I know in real life, however, so if our only interaction has been online, please don’t ask. I’ll probably start the fourth draft sometime in September, so you’ll have until the end of the summer (and possibly a little more) to finish it.

Next project? Publishing Bringing Stella Home and putting together the spin-off novella Sholpan. Shouldn’t take more than a couple weeks. After that, I think I’ll start the indirect sequel that I mentioned before. In the meantime, on with business as usual.