submitting – Page 3 – One Thousand And One Parsecs

Cover Letter Fail

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I volunteer as a slushpile reader for The Leading Edge. We see some pretty bad stuff, such as stories written entirely in one-line paragraphs, or self-proclaimed “short stories” over 80 pages and 30 chapters long, or hilariously awkward phrases like “the copious softness of her breasts.”

This, however, takes the cake.

It’s a cover letter from an author who submitted a story to us a few months ago that we rejected. Can you tell? In one and a half pages, I think he does just about everything that you’re not supposed to do. In fact, it was so bad that Chris, the head editor, wrote a special comment sheet critiquing just the cover letter.

Anyways, here’s it is (with names changed and/or completely removed):

Thanks for your very interesting critiques of “Shamelessly Amateur Story.”

It was perhaps too mysterious and weird. Since much of it went past your knowledgeable readers, I have to think it was too subtile. Or just not clear, something like that.

I, myself, may be a bit mysterious and weird.

This is a much clearer sort of story. It’s about an engineer on a starship, and it draws very strongly on my own experience. No, not on a starship. Smile.

I also do some scifi humor, which the best stories I could use as examples are under submission to others. Since statistics say they will puke on them, if you like scifi humor, you might tell me. (In the computer programmer’s world, to puke on something is only to say that you do not understand it. It does not mean someone is throwing up. I say, “I do not know what you want with ‘w/carrot/show’ ” and that does not mean anything is wrong with what you said, just that my program could not process it.

I do not think I can write a simple story. My work is full of twists and turns and implications. What I need to learn, I believe, is not how to write more simply, but how to write so that the simplest level of interpretation is accessible. I have a story in Rosebud this winter, and I don’t know how the editor looked at it, but I imagine he (Rodrick Clark) is smarter than the next Bear.

Why do I have to make it so complicated? I could write a blood and thunder story, and anyone could see it was pretty good. Well, that would make it easy if it was just about writing what you know. I have seen blood. But I do not want to write about negatives. I want to write stories about how good people are not about how bad they could be. Let me see if I can get to you with ‘Yet Another Shamelessly Amateur Story’ and maybe you can tell me something about positive writing froom this. Oh, and sure, I need to see a sample copy, so here is the $6 for that.

If your guidelines say anything unique, I would like to have them, and will refer to them. I do not think of anyone’s guidelines as really mandatory, but as ‘have an effin’ good reason’ to not follow. You might tell me not to touch you, but if a train is about to run you over. I will grab you and thrrow you off the tracks like a sack of sand. If I have a storyteller’s reason to blow off your guidelines, I will do that, too, but I will have to understand that I need to listen closely to the rules. It’s a little bit like grammar. But bad grammar is more easily forgiven.

Well, anyway. I would like you to look at this story, ‘Yet Another Shamelessly Amateur Story’ and I would like a review, or better, I would like you to buy it. 😉

In any event, I want a sample copy, and here is the $6 for it.

Needless to say, “Yet Another Shamelessly Amateur Story” was rejected. Grammar this bad is NOT more easily forgiven, and though “Yet Another” may have been too subtile for us, we resent it when people treat us like bags of sand.

Falling behind

Man, CONduit is at the end of this week, and I’ve still got a good 14k words to go in Mercenary Savior. Today, I only wrote 1,300 words. I have no idea why my productivity has fallen so much, but it’s not good.

It might not be a totally bad thing, though. I’m having trouble finding a ride up for Friday, so I might end up spending two or three hours on the bus. If that’s the case, I might have some writing time then.

I read something interesting on Dave Farland’s daily kick (the email newsletter he sends out–it’s free, btw, and very helpful). Basically, he said that it’s better to wait to submit something until it’s absolutely perfect than to submit something for the sake of submitting it.

This is making me rethink my plan to start submitting Mercenary Savior right after I finish this draft. It’s much improved, I think, from the first couple of drafts, but it still needs a lot of work.

As I run down my list of revision notes, I keep thinking “dang, I didn’t pull that off as well as I’d hoped” or “that last scene could have been better.” It’s hard, though, to juggle so many changes; you can only do so much work at once. Mercenary Savior is going to need another revision after this one before it’s polished.

The only thing is…that means I only have one novel to submit to agents/editors. Is that a bad thing? Now that I’m in the real world, I’m anxious to launch my writing career, but at the same time I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot.

I suppose the first thing to do is to finish this beast. Ugh.

Book Festival and other updates

So last Friday, there was a book fair at the Provo Library. I only heard about it the night before from Facebook, but there were almost twenty authors on the guest list, so I figured it would be a good place to go to meet other writers. I wasn’t mistaken!

I biked up to the library just as Brandon Sanderson was walking in. We chatted for a while, caught up on stuff since the last time I took his class. I almost got to walk into the author’s only lounge with him, but one of the staff stopped me. One of these days, though…one of these days!

I also ran into Dan Wells, who remembered me from World Fantasy and gave me a very nice compliment: he said I was very good at approaching people, especially at conventions. Talked about the different cons this year; according to Dan, Dragoncon is going to be huge this year, since Worldcon is in Australia and World Fantasy is in Ohio. I have a friend in Atlanta–I’ll have to look into attending that.

Brandon Sanderson, Clint Johnson, Mette Ivie Harrison, and J. Scott Savage did a panel on writing fantasy. Fortunately, I had my mp3 player on me and was able to record it. If you would like to listen to it, you can find it here:

Fantasy Panel, Provo Children’s Book Festival (15 May 2010)

Clint had some interesting advice for me after the panel; he asked about the books I’ve written and said I should submit them to YA agents/editors as well as mainstream adult agents/editors. Apparently, Genesis Earth and Mercenary Savior could work as YA, since 1) they’re about (relatively) young protagonists having coming-of-age experiences and learning how they want to live their lives, and 2) they don’t have the sense of nostalgia that adults often have when they think about their childhood.

So that was the Provo Children’s Book Festival. Let me just say, this is one of the reasons why I love Utah: the writing scene for fantasy/sf/YA is HUGE. Tons of writers, tons of readers, local writing events all the time–it’s great.

In other updates, I got a personalized rejection from Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show! It was a pretty long one, too. The assistant editor said the writing was pretty good, but it felt too much like a novel. Hehe…confession, it was part of a novel. But that’s awesome that he thought the writing was good!

Besides that, he gave a lot of suggestions as to formatting, referring me to this site for detailed ms instructions. I didn’t think most editors would mind Times New Roman, but if it’s an issue even for a few of them, I should probably just switch to Courier–no editor is going to fault me for using Courier.

Besides all that, I’m well on my way to finishing Mercenary Savior 3.0 before CONduit. My goal right now is to finish it next Tuesday and spend Wednesday and Thursday sending it out. After CONduit, I plan on starting Hero in Exile (except the name will change), and I have a TON of great ideas for it. Funny how sometimes in order to finish a book, you need to write another one first.

Untitled

Man, I don’t write for this blog as much as I should.

Life is going well. I just recently got a part time job doing telephone surveys; hopefully, it will help tide things over until I can get something better. Between that and donating plasma, I should be able to pay the bills for the next couple of months.

I’ve also been writing quite a bit, hitting between 2k and 4k words per day. At this rate, Mercenary Savior 3.0 should be finished by the end of next week. That’s good, because I’m excited to start submitting it. I’ve already got Genesis Earth making the rounds, but the sooner I can get another project out there, the better.

For my next project after , I want to recycle Hero in Exile (ugh, it needs a new title) and turn that into a complete novel. I have a lot of ideas for it, but it will require some research, which may delay the actual start date.

For example, the main character (who I’m going to rename) has this major conflict where he’s trying to go home. As a young boy, his parents put him in an escape pod that crash landed on the planet, where he was raised by the locals. As the writer, I’m going to need to know about adoptions, know a handful o f adoption stories to pattern things off of, and maybe read a couple of essays on the meaning of “home.”

As another example, one of the major themes I want to get across is the struggle to maintain personal moral integrity in a morally corrupt world. I probably won’t have to look too far for that–being Mormon has given me lots of opportunities for research there–but I need to do a lot more to be aware of that particular conflict. When you’re slogging away, it’s very easy to focus too much on plot and no enough on the rest.

Probably the biggest preparation is going to be working through the character motivations, and that inevitably means building a background, since motivations grow out of the character’s history and background. But that’s going to involve a fair degree of pre-writing, which I may or may not be able to do before I start page one.

And that’s another scene; I’ve got to completely revamp the beginning. What I have now involves the main character staring out over the desert just before a sandstorm. Picturesque, but essentially navel gazing with little real character development. Instead, I want to show him thinking or doing something that reveals the central, most important aspect of his character, the way Brandon Sanderson did it in Elantris.

So anyways, lots of work to look forward to, in terms of writing that is. Other kinds of work…well, it’s good to have a sense of security. Even though I’ve been producing a lot, I’m sure I could have been producing more (upwards of 6k or 8k per day) if I’d had that sense of security provided.

Anyways, there is more that I could say, but I’m going to go to bed because it’s freaking 2:22 AM. Night.

Life in the Real World

So it’s been a week since I graduated, and life in the “real world” is very different from academia. In some ways, it’s scary, but in other ways, it’s actually kind of fun.

Freedom from schoolwork is HUGE. Seriously, I had no idea how much day-to-day stress came from school until now. Without this or that assignment hanging over my head, I feel incredibly liberated. I can go wherever I want, or do whatever I feel like doing, and the only restrictions on my time are the ones I set for myself.

Of course, life isn’t stress free–far from it. Employment is definitely a problem. I need to find a job and start making some kind of an income. That’s the main stressor right now–how am I going to sustain myself?

In some ways, it’s kind of a game. I’ve got my budget lined up, with projected monthly expenses, and that tells me how much money I need to make to break even. The object of the game is to find creative ways to make that money.

This is what I spend most of my day doing. Some interesting prospects include:

Freelance editing. A roommate of a friend of mine has actually contracted with me to do this for a company he recently started. It isn’t steady work, but $40-$60 per job for basically reworking a piece of fantasy, it isn’t bad either.
Freelance translation. A friend of mine from the FLSR told me all about this. Basically, I just need to set up a free account at proz.com, post my resume, set up paypal, and start taking jobs. Again, it isn’t steady, but it’s promising.
Temp work. As luck would have it, there’s a temp agency across the street from my apartment, and a friend of mine already works there. It’s just filler until I get a real job, but it seems to pay fairly well, though the labor is mostly grunt work. Still, better grunt work than office work.
Working for a teleresearch company down the street. It isn’t the best kind of work, but it’s a job, it’s got flexible openings, and it’s local.
Anything legit on craigslist.
Anything from the Wilk boards (though it’s kind of skimpy right now).
Donating plasma. Hey, $65 a week is better than nothing.

So that’s what I’m thinking about doing to hold me over until I get a real job. My goal for May is to make more money than I spend.

Really, though, I don’t need a job for the money–I’ve got enough cash saved up to last at least through the summer. I need a job for the sense of security. It’s hard to focus on writing when I don’t know how I’m going to support myself.

Another danger with unemployment is the lack of structure. When you don’t have to get up and go to work, you find yourself getting up later and later. If you don’t have to do anything, you generally don’t accomplish very much. It’s hard to stay productive in the face of so much free time.

Still, I’m going to try. I’m keeping up with my writing, doing about 3k-4k words per day on the revision of Mercenary Savior. I’ve got a handful of submissions out on Genesis Earth, and I’m going to keep a steady number of submissions out at any time. I’ve also been submitting my unpublished short stories, so we’ll see where that goes.

In the meantime, I’ll keep looking for a day job while I play the game of financial independence. It’s an adventure.

Pluggin’ away

Wrote 2,889 words today, bringing the running 7-day total to just under 15,000 words. If I can keep this up for a month without lagging, I should be able to finish Mercenary Savior 3.0 in time for CONduit.

In the meantime, I’m looking for a job. A friend of mine who’s in Egypt right now told me about this interesting online freelance contractor, which looks like a promising source of cash in the short term. Sent in my application, inshallah will hear back soon. Payment is via paypal on a work for hire basis, with most writers / copy editors averaging $20-$25 per hour, so could be useful. No benefits, but what the heck.

In between writing and applying with the online writing place, I submitted Genesis Earth to a couple new places, and sent From the Ice Incarnate to IGMS. I don’t have many short stories, but I really need to send out the few I do have to more markets. Maybe I can pull out the first couple chapters of some of my novels and call them short stories and/or novellas. Wouldn’t hurt.

Graduation is coming up in less than 100 hours. My parents arrived in town about an hour ago, and the rest of the family should be coming shortly. It will be really good to see them–I’m looking forward to it.

That’s about it for now. I’ve got some other thoughts on jobs, dating, future plans, settling down, an article I’m writing for Mormon Artist, and the computer I want to build once I’ve got a job, but I’ll write about that later. Goodnight.

Quick post from Provo

This is going to be quick, because it’s late at night and I want to get some sleep.

I made it to Provo. I’m currently staying with an old roommate, sleeping on his couch. To do: find a job and a place to live. Fortunately, I’ve just about got the second one secured.

I talked with the editors at Leading Edge today, and they told me they’ve been having problems with the buy function on their website. If you tried to buy a copy of issue 58 (the one with my story) before this month, they probably lost your address. Don’t worry, they voided the purchase, but if you want a copy you’ll have to go through the process again. Sorry for the hassle.

Wrote the last academic paper of my undergraduate college career today. The last freaking paper. Hooray!

I dropped in to English 318 tonight, and a couple of Sanderson fans got engaged in front of the whole class. It was pretty cool, not the least because they were cosplaying at the same time. Good luck, Mi’chelle! May you and your future husband have a wonderful life together!

Thanks for all the feedback on the new title. I think I’m going to stick with it. It’s weird to call the book by a different name after working on it for so long under the other title, but I think Mercenary Savior works much better.

Looked up Westercon today and found out it’s only $60. Thinking seriously about going. Should I? Is anyone else planning on going?

To do tomorrow: get cap and gown, complete and file taxes, sign a spring/summer contract, meet up with old supervisors/professors in pursuit of a job, go to a bonfire and have a good time.

My mom always got depressed with to do lists; she always felt daunted when she saw all the tasks she needed to accomplish. To counteract this, she made a “tasks accomplished” list at the end of the day to make her feel better. So, on that note:

Accomplished: finished all Washington Seminar coursework, attended English 318 and obtained leads for Mormon Artist article, attended Leading Edge and caught up with the slushies, got a date for next Friday (totally unrelated), submitted Genesis Earth to an agent, wrote +2.2k in Mercenary Savior.

Not bad. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to crash for the night.

Quarterly report

So I figure that since I want to write professionally, it would be a good idea to keep track of my writing and do quarterly updates on my blog. Here’s the first one for this year:

The red line shows my daily writing word count, the blue line a running seven day total. The graph starts January 1st and goes to March 31st.

For the first part of January, the seven day total was high for a week because I’d just finished Bringing Stella Home 2.0. It dropped down way low for a while because I was busy moving into the Barlow center, starting my internship, and starting a new novel at the same time. Combining all three of those things at the same time made for very little progress, until about the middle part of the month.

Things progressed at a moderate rate (about 1k words per day) from the middle of January until snowmageddon, which hit us in the second week of February. I got a lot of writing done while snowed in, and my work in progress at the time, To Search the Starry Sea 1.0, got a lot of momentum behind it.

That momentum started to taper off, as I realized that the story I was writing was different than the story I had in my head. I swear, this happens EVERY time I try to write a novel. I tried to stick with the story in my head, but the gap got wider and wider until I realized the story just wasn’t working.

At the end of February, I decided to put it on the back burner and let my ideas simmer for a while. I’ll probably pick it up again at some point in the future, but not in the short term–I need to put it away for a while. I’m sure I’ll finish it someday, though.

So then, in the beginning of March, I went through all the comments I’d received on Bringing Stella Home. The HUGE spike you see right around the middle of the month represents all the revision notes I put together for the 3.0 draft. I read through the entire manuscript in about a week and a half, made a detailed scene by scene outline, and figured out my strategy for the revision.

Things dropped off again pretty sharply the last couple weeks of March because that was right around when I was fired from my internship. That was one hell of a stressful week. They picked up pretty quick after that, though, because 1) I had a lot more free time, and 2) I’m REALLY excited about this project.

Looking ahead, I think if I push myself, I can finish Bringing Stella Home 3.0 by the end of April. It will be difficult because I’ll be looking for an apartment and a job at the same time, but after next week I won’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore (potentially for the rest of my life…whoa). Definitely, I’ll have it done in time for CONduit 2010.

One thing I need to work on a lot more is submitting. I’ve got a list of agents to submit Genesis Earth to, I just haven’t got around to sending it to them all. The responses I’ve received have been generally encouraging: all rejections, but about half form rejections, half personalized in some way. I do think this book will find it’s way in print, though it may not be my first to be published.

Even though Bringing Stella Home will probably need at least one more major revision before the full manuscript is ready to be sent out to editors/agents, I can probably polish the first three chapters enough to shop it around sometime in May. I’m not sure if that’s what I’ll do, but it’s an option. It depends on whether I jump right in to the 4.0 revision after finishing the current draft, which I probably won’t do; better to let it sit for a while.

Instead, I think I’ll jump right in to finishing that novel I started in late 2008, Hero in Exile. The title will have to change (as always), but I’ve got a lot of fresh ideas for it, plus the enthusiasm to pull it off. In many ways, Hero in Exile is a non-linear sequel to Bringing Stella Home, so if I get a deal with the one, I can always pitch the other as the next in the series. That’s a huge plus–and a major reason why I’ll be enthusiastic about the project, since the two novels build off of each other.

Anyway, that’s what things are looking like from here. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I’ll read a couple of friends’ novels (I haven’t forgotten about you, Jakeson and Drek!), graduate, get an apartment, get a job (inshallah), write an article for Mormon Artist, go to a con or two, and maybe even get a girlfriend and/or figure out what to do with my life.

Major project shift

I’ve got this goal to finish my current work-in-progress, To Search the Starry Sea, by May 1st 2010. However, the deeper I get into the story, the more I realize how many problems it has–how much it sucks, in other words.

Normally, this wouldn’t keep me from dropping the project or putting it on hold. It happens with every rough draft (or second or third draft, for that matter); midway through every project, I start to get all angsty and worry that the project sucks, that it’s beyond saving, that I’m wasting my time, etc.

However, this time it’s different for a number of reasons.

First of all, the story itself doesn’t suck. However, it does have a weak beginning and a poor setup, which makes it very difficult to develop the middle section. With better conflict foreshadowing and character introductions, I could tear right through this section, but without that, I’m floundering more and more.

A couple months ago, I started to realize this, so I started a set of revision notes for the next draft. My thought was “if I know the story needs changes, rather than going back and changing them, I can just make a note of them and move on.”

However, that approach isn’t working because the unwritten changes aren’t impacting the story as fully and completely as they would if I’d write them out. If the changes were minor, I could let them go–but when they have to do with something fundamental, like setting up a romantic subplot, or turning a minor character into a major character into a major viewpoint character, I can’ t just make a note of the change and move on–I need to write the thing to see what it changes.

In other words, I need to restart this project from the beginning. But if I do that while I’m still angsty about it, it’s going to end up like crap. I’ve got to let it sit for a while.

It’s frustrating, because I really want to finish a straight draft from start to finish. For both Genesis Earth and Bringing Stella Home, I only finished the rough draft after dropping the project for a while and restarting it at the beginning. If it works, I guess it works, but it would be nice if the creative process were more linear. Blegh.

All is not lost, however. Most of my first readers for Bringing Stella Home have gotten back with their feedback, and it’s been extremely helpful. I’ve got a clear direction and lots of ideas for where I want to take that story, and now that I’ve spent some time away from it, I can honestly say that it doesn’t suck all that bad. In fact, after a lot of work, it might actually be decently good.

There are several reasons why it makes sense to work on Bringing Stella Home right now. For example,

I’m excited about it. Better to capitalize on that now than wait until after the enthusiasm has died.
I’ve got lots of ideas flowing to me now. I could try to write them all down for later, but why not try them out now, while they’re still fresh?
I’m sending Genesis Earth out to a bunch of places, and the rejections are starting to come in. If I can respond to a rejection by sending out a second book in a timely way, I will look much more like a professional, and the agents/editors will take me more seriously.

My goal was to have To Search the Starry Sea done by May 1st. Let’s see if I can do Bringing Stella Home 3.0 (and yes, the title will change) by that day instead. And if that proves too difficult, what with graduation, internship, looking for work, and figuring out life, at least I can reach the halfway mark by then.

So that’s my new goal: Finish Bringing Stella Home 3.0 by May 1st, 2010 (or at least be halfway finished). To do that, I’ll have to read through all the comments by the end of this week and have the revision notes all figured out.

Better get started!

Writing the synopsis

Ugh. It’s so hard to write synopses. I spent all my free time tonight writing one, so it doesn’t look like I’m going to get more than a couple hundred words (if that) in To Search the Starry Sea.

It’s a necessary evil, though–so many agents and editors require it. Now that I’ve got a one-page synopsis down for Genesis Earth, I can start submitting more liberally. I’m sure, though, that it needs tweaking before it’s ready to send out.

For that reason, I’m uploading it to this blog, so you guys can take a look. I’ve got to warn you, though, there are SPOILERS in this document–so please, don’t read it unless you were one of my first readers! You all know who you are. Here it is:

10-3 march one-page synopsis 4.0.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments. And thanks!