Thoughts and Reflections – Page 31 – One Thousand And One Parsecs

Near scare and an awesome idea for the next novel

I wrote 1,780 words this morning–not bad. After such a good start, I figured I’d finish the last 720 for the day after finishing the day’s errands.

Long story short, when I finally settled in at 11pm to do a little writing before going to bed, I had some weird problems. Openoffice froze up, I ended it prematurely, and it turned out that that somehow corrupted one of the files I had opened. Instead of being 370 KB, it was now over 1,000 KB, and every time I tried to write something, it froze up for nearly half a minute.

In the end, I had to delete it.

Fortunately, this was NOT the main file for Mercenary Savior. Thank goodness! It was just the revision notes. I had copies of both (both about a week old), but I’m glad it wasn’t the main file, because I’d have lost over thirty pages of revisions. Yikes.

On a totally different note, I had an awesome dream this morning–one that I’m totally using in next novel I’m going to write (probably recycling much of Hero in Exile). It’s hard to describe it exactly, which is why I added this really weird picture to this post.

You may be wondering, “what the crap is that supposed to be?” I’ll tell you: it’s Arab. It’s Arab on so many different levels it makes me happy inside. I took it from the facebook profile pictures album of an old friend of mine from the ELC in Provo. What’s so Arab about it? Well, there’s 1) King Abdullah II 2) in battle fatigues 3) waving to the people 4) with an eagle in the background 5) wearing a Bedouin hutta 6) and some kind of military insignia on the agal. So freaking Arab.

So what was my dream? Well, it was kind of like a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and…a lot of weird stuff. At one point, King Hussein of Jordan commanded me to go into the desert east of Jerusalem and raise an army. I had a lot of questions, so he explained exactly what he wanted me to do–and in so doing, he explained exactly how the Bedouin fight wars.

Instead of keeping a standing army, a military leader must draw the warriors of the other tribes to his banner through his charisma, egalitarianism, reputation, etc. The warriors join his campaign, not to serve some grand concept of country, but to win spoils and glory. Once the campaign ends, they disband and return to their tribes until the next leader rallies them together.

Because of the way this works, a charismatic leader can pass through the desert virtually by himself, only to come out on the other side with a fearsome army. This is what happened in Lawrence of Arabia when Lawrence took Aqaba–he passed through the desert with a token force of barely fifty men, but the feat (and his brilliant diplomatic skills) so impressed the Bedouins on the other side that they rallied to him and stormed the city. From the Turks’ point of view, the army came out of nowhere and crushed them.

So that’s what I’m thinking I need to do at some point in my next novel: have the main character, poor and destitute, go out to the desert and rally the tribes with nothing but his charisma. I’ve already got the rough (VERY rough) outline of the story in my head, and this plot point fits perfectly into this one section where I was worrying that things lagged too much.

Oh man, I’ve got such awesome plans for this book! But first, must revise Mercenary Savior and send it out. Don’t worry, I’m enthusiastic about that project, too. It will get done! Momentum is building–I’ll more than make up those 720 words tomorrow.

Quarterly report

So I figure that since I want to write professionally, it would be a good idea to keep track of my writing and do quarterly updates on my blog. Here’s the first one for this year:

The red line shows my daily writing word count, the blue line a running seven day total. The graph starts January 1st and goes to March 31st.

For the first part of January, the seven day total was high for a week because I’d just finished Bringing Stella Home 2.0. It dropped down way low for a while because I was busy moving into the Barlow center, starting my internship, and starting a new novel at the same time. Combining all three of those things at the same time made for very little progress, until about the middle part of the month.

Things progressed at a moderate rate (about 1k words per day) from the middle of January until snowmageddon, which hit us in the second week of February. I got a lot of writing done while snowed in, and my work in progress at the time, To Search the Starry Sea 1.0, got a lot of momentum behind it.

That momentum started to taper off, as I realized that the story I was writing was different than the story I had in my head. I swear, this happens EVERY time I try to write a novel. I tried to stick with the story in my head, but the gap got wider and wider until I realized the story just wasn’t working.

At the end of February, I decided to put it on the back burner and let my ideas simmer for a while. I’ll probably pick it up again at some point in the future, but not in the short term–I need to put it away for a while. I’m sure I’ll finish it someday, though.

So then, in the beginning of March, I went through all the comments I’d received on Bringing Stella Home. The HUGE spike you see right around the middle of the month represents all the revision notes I put together for the 3.0 draft. I read through the entire manuscript in about a week and a half, made a detailed scene by scene outline, and figured out my strategy for the revision.

Things dropped off again pretty sharply the last couple weeks of March because that was right around when I was fired from my internship. That was one hell of a stressful week. They picked up pretty quick after that, though, because 1) I had a lot more free time, and 2) I’m REALLY excited about this project.

Looking ahead, I think if I push myself, I can finish Bringing Stella Home 3.0 by the end of April. It will be difficult because I’ll be looking for an apartment and a job at the same time, but after next week I won’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore (potentially for the rest of my life…whoa). Definitely, I’ll have it done in time for CONduit 2010.

One thing I need to work on a lot more is submitting. I’ve got a list of agents to submit Genesis Earth to, I just haven’t got around to sending it to them all. The responses I’ve received have been generally encouraging: all rejections, but about half form rejections, half personalized in some way. I do think this book will find it’s way in print, though it may not be my first to be published.

Even though Bringing Stella Home will probably need at least one more major revision before the full manuscript is ready to be sent out to editors/agents, I can probably polish the first three chapters enough to shop it around sometime in May. I’m not sure if that’s what I’ll do, but it’s an option. It depends on whether I jump right in to the 4.0 revision after finishing the current draft, which I probably won’t do; better to let it sit for a while.

Instead, I think I’ll jump right in to finishing that novel I started in late 2008, Hero in Exile. The title will have to change (as always), but I’ve got a lot of fresh ideas for it, plus the enthusiasm to pull it off. In many ways, Hero in Exile is a non-linear sequel to Bringing Stella Home, so if I get a deal with the one, I can always pitch the other as the next in the series. That’s a huge plus–and a major reason why I’ll be enthusiastic about the project, since the two novels build off of each other.

Anyway, that’s what things are looking like from here. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I’ll read a couple of friends’ novels (I haven’t forgotten about you, Jakeson and Drek!), graduate, get an apartment, get a job (inshallah), write an article for Mormon Artist, go to a con or two, and maybe even get a girlfriend and/or figure out what to do with my life.

Old story notebook–found!

Guess what? Last night, when I was looking through old boxes at my parents house (looking for my old ratty copy of On My Way to Paradise, specifically) I found my very first story notebook–the one I thought I’d lost on the Jordan study abroad two years ago!

Wheeeeee!!!

This notebook is a real gold mine–not just of story ideas, but of some of my oldest thoughts on writing. I started keeping it back in the 90s, long before my mission. I kept it up sporadically for a little while, but it really took off in 2007 when I decided I was going to pursue writing professionally.

For the 07-08 school year, I kept this notebook with me all the time. I had a huge burst of story ideas as I finished my first novel, and I wrote the majority of them in here.

When the summer came around, I got a couple new notebooks in preparation for the study abroad. Later, when I was established in the homestay, I searched everywhere for this notebook and couldn’t find it. I thought it was lost. The whole time, it turns out, it was in my shoebox of momentoes in Provo.

Wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem. So now, without any further ado, let’s go through this thing.

A boy learns how to consciously control his dreams and visit other people in theirs.

For a long time, this was my one big idea–the one that I was sure would turn into a fantastic book and make my entire career, if I could just keep it secret long enough to write it. It’s a pretty good story idea, but I’ve got so many other, better ideas by now that I’m not too concerned about making it public.

A girl falls overboard from a colony ship and is stranded on an island.

Kind of like a female Robinson Carusoe, I guess. I actually wrote the first fifty pages of this story, in the summer before I left for my mission. Never finished it, but at least I ran with it.

A secret organization of warriors fights to keep a mysterious enemy from taking over the land.

Hehe, sound familiar? I think every other fantasy story has some kind of subplot like this.

A kidnapped girl fights to make her way home.

Kind of like the Odyssey, but with the genders reversed. Hmm, maybe I haven’t changed all that much…

A band of foreign, elite warriors sells their services to a population, then slowly begins to corrupt the society’s morals to satisfy their lusts.

Kind of like Seven Samurai meets Ibn Khaldun.

Two brothers find themselves fighting for opposing armies.

Already done: Gettysburg, the movie.

A general fights to save his people and then his daughter is kidnapped by asymmetrical terrorists.

I’m not sure what the significance is with the terrorists–maybe conventional warfare vs. asymmetrical warfare or something like that.

The next few are all ideas for non-science fiction stories; I tried to brainstorm as many of them as I could, in case (for some absurd reason) I decided to write mainstream fiction. I’ll give them all at once:

A guy finds a girl and they click, but he has to convince her that the people she dates are bad for her (which is true).

A guy and a girl go on a road trip to find out more about themselves.

A guy tries to improve himself to attract a girl, then discovers he’s not interested.

A boy is chauffering people around and doing errands, then finds a life-changing thing.

A homeless runaway is taken in by a wise truck driver and learns to reconcile himself with the world.

A boy goes on a road trip to do research to reunite a dying relative with an old friend.

Moral of the story: If it’s not science fiction, it’s got to involve a road trip. Otherwise, it’s dead boring.

A soldier away from home makes his way back to his country, which has fallen into warlordism, and tries to rebuild his life and his homeland.

This was the novel I tried to write the year after my mission. It tanked really bad, but it got me to the point where I could write Ashes of the Starry Sea and actually finish it. If I were to try this idea now, I would take it in a completely different direction than I did then.

That concludes all the ideas in the notebook before October 15, 2003. The notebook then took a hiatus until the summer of ’07, which is where I’ll pick up next time.

Goodbye DC

So I have some crazy, unbelievable news to share: I got fired from my internship, under disputed circumstances. That’s right: fired from my unpaid internship four weeks before it was scheduled to end.

The exact reasons for the termination were never made completely clear to me, but I suspect politics played a significant role and that’s all I’m going to say about it here. If you want to know more, please contact me privately.

Fortunately, the Washington Seminar people have agreed to let me get credit for my academic work–which means that I’ll be able to graduate. I’ve been sent home early, but I can still pass the class with a C/C-.

Oh well. In some ways, this kind of sucks, but in other ways, it’s a blessing in disguise. I learned everything that I needed to learn from my internship: that I don’t want to pursue a career in government or policy making.

Government work is long, hard, and very intensive. It also involves office politics, sitting behind a desk, and fighting entrenched bureaucracies. It’s not the kind of career that allows time for family, let alone writing. And the payoff? The common refrain I heard was that the work was “interesting.” Not “meaningful,” “life-changing,” “personally enriching,” or any of that–just “interesting.”

Nope. Not for me.

I also learned that the kind of people who are attracted to Washington DC are not the kind of people I feel very comfortable around. Generally speaking, Washington DC tends to attract people who are ambitious, self-absorbed, arrogant, loud, poor listeners, opinionated, and oblivious of the people around them. This certainly wasn’t true of everyone, both at the institute and at the Barlow center, but I found they were the exceptions to the rule.

I will say a few positive things, though. DC has some excellent museums and monuments–the best of any I’ve seen anywhere else. In particular, I found the FDR memorial, the Portrait Gallery, and the science and innovation exhibit at the American History Museum particularly moving.

In terms of people, ironically, the ones that struck me as most sincere and genuine were all politicians. In particular, I was struck by Congressman Matheson and Senator Bennett. I’m not sure if I would vote for either of them–it depends on their stance on the issues–but they both struck me as intelligent, well meaning, good people.

I will also say that my respect for the military went up significantly. After hearing so many people spout of so much self-important hot air about this or that political issue, it was remarkably refreshing to see people who were willing to put their lives on the line for their country. To any servicemen reading this, thank you for all you do. I have nothing but the deepest respect and admiration for you.

My experience in the Barlow center was generally quite positive. I had an excellent roommate and made quite a few friends. I’m sorry if I seemed kind of aloof most of the time–it’s probably because I was miserable for other reasons and didn’t realize it. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone again back in Provo.

So, what’s the plan now? Finish the academic side of things ASAP, then head back to Utah. I’ve got a lot of old friends I want to catch up with before the summer, not to mention the last couple English 318 classes. That’s one thing I sorely missed this semester–English 318. Beyond that, I don’t quite know–a lot of things are still in the air. I’m confident, however, that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

Go to Tor.com and read this.

Brandon Sanderson’s story of how he decided to become a writer is very interest. It goes back to elementary school, when he hated books and reading in general. A wise teacher put a copy of Barbara Hambly’s Dragonsbane in his hand, and it started a chain reaction that led to him becoming a bestselling writer.

As one of Brandon’s students, I’ve heard the story several times. However, I had no idea how significant a role that Michael Whelan, the illustrator of that book, played in it all. Tor commissioned Michael Whelan to do the cover for Brandon’s next book, The Way of Kings. In response, Brandon wrote a blog post at Tor.com explaining how significant it is to him that Mr. Whelan was chosen to do the cover art for The Way of Kings.

It’s an awesome and moving blog post. You should check it out.

In unrelated news, I am 110 pages into outlining Bringing Stella Home 3.0 and enjoying the process immensely. I’ve got some awesome first readers. Even with all the honest criticism, I’d much rather be writing than doing office work at my internship. Ah, well, April 15th will be here before we know it.

As for graduating and finding myself in the real world…not quite as thrilled about that. More like scared s***less.

Major project shift

I’ve got this goal to finish my current work-in-progress, To Search the Starry Sea, by May 1st 2010. However, the deeper I get into the story, the more I realize how many problems it has–how much it sucks, in other words.

Normally, this wouldn’t keep me from dropping the project or putting it on hold. It happens with every rough draft (or second or third draft, for that matter); midway through every project, I start to get all angsty and worry that the project sucks, that it’s beyond saving, that I’m wasting my time, etc.

However, this time it’s different for a number of reasons.

First of all, the story itself doesn’t suck. However, it does have a weak beginning and a poor setup, which makes it very difficult to develop the middle section. With better conflict foreshadowing and character introductions, I could tear right through this section, but without that, I’m floundering more and more.

A couple months ago, I started to realize this, so I started a set of revision notes for the next draft. My thought was “if I know the story needs changes, rather than going back and changing them, I can just make a note of them and move on.”

However, that approach isn’t working because the unwritten changes aren’t impacting the story as fully and completely as they would if I’d write them out. If the changes were minor, I could let them go–but when they have to do with something fundamental, like setting up a romantic subplot, or turning a minor character into a major character into a major viewpoint character, I can’ t just make a note of the change and move on–I need to write the thing to see what it changes.

In other words, I need to restart this project from the beginning. But if I do that while I’m still angsty about it, it’s going to end up like crap. I’ve got to let it sit for a while.

It’s frustrating, because I really want to finish a straight draft from start to finish. For both Genesis Earth and Bringing Stella Home, I only finished the rough draft after dropping the project for a while and restarting it at the beginning. If it works, I guess it works, but it would be nice if the creative process were more linear. Blegh.

All is not lost, however. Most of my first readers for Bringing Stella Home have gotten back with their feedback, and it’s been extremely helpful. I’ve got a clear direction and lots of ideas for where I want to take that story, and now that I’ve spent some time away from it, I can honestly say that it doesn’t suck all that bad. In fact, after a lot of work, it might actually be decently good.

There are several reasons why it makes sense to work on Bringing Stella Home right now. For example,

I’m excited about it. Better to capitalize on that now than wait until after the enthusiasm has died.
I’ve got lots of ideas flowing to me now. I could try to write them all down for later, but why not try them out now, while they’re still fresh?
I’m sending Genesis Earth out to a bunch of places, and the rejections are starting to come in. If I can respond to a rejection by sending out a second book in a timely way, I will look much more like a professional, and the agents/editors will take me more seriously.

My goal was to have To Search the Starry Sea done by May 1st. Let’s see if I can do Bringing Stella Home 3.0 (and yes, the title will change) by that day instead. And if that proves too difficult, what with graduation, internship, looking for work, and figuring out life, at least I can reach the halfway mark by then.

So that’s my new goal: Finish Bringing Stella Home 3.0 by May 1st, 2010 (or at least be halfway finished). To do that, I’ll have to read through all the comments by the end of this week and have the revision notes all figured out.

Better get started!

I’m published!

That’s right–my first published story just came out in issue 58 of The Leading Edge. I am happy to say that after three years of formally pursuing my career as a writer, I am now a published author!

The story is titled Decision LZ1527, and it’s about a guy asking a girl out on a date–as told from the point of view of the little men inside his head piloting his body like a starship. I really like the tagline in the table of contents: “A man, a woman, and a whole crew of matchmakers.”

Full disclosure: I submitted this story after I joined the staff as a volunteer slushpile reader. Most of the editors for this issue are pretty good friends of mine (including the Production Director, who’s one of my most trusted alpha readers). I submitted it under a pseudonym, however, so most of the staff didn’t know it was mine until after they’d accepted it.

The Leading Edge is known for the excellent quality of its illustrations, and I’m happy to say that I lucked out with with the artist the editors picked for my story! Josh McGill is a graphic designer and aspiring children’s book illustrator. He’s done art for issues 53 and 55 of The Leading Edge. The picture on the right is the one he did for the front page of my story. I must say, I’m impressed!

The Leading Edge is a semi-professional small press science fiction and fantasy magazine affiliated with BYU. It’s been in publication since the early 80s, when Marion K. “Doc” Smith’s famous “class that wouldn’t die” got together and started it, along with Quark and LTUE. If you would like to support the magazine (and read my story!) you can purchase a copy of issue 58 at the following link:

Issue 58: “Redemption Songs”

Lot’s of people dream about getting published, but it takes a lot of hard work and rejection to actually make it happen. As writers, though, we tend to be harder on ourselves than we ought to be. It took almost four years for Decision LZ1527 to find its way into print, but it did. That’s enough to make the rest of the process worth it.

Let’s hope it’s the first of many!

End of the apprenticeship

I got in a long conversation with my roommate tonight, where we talked about girls, government, the economy, 2010 elections, corporatism, Ursula K. Le Guin, and all other kinds of good stuff. Towards the end, we got to talking about my goals to be a full time writer, and I showed him the record I’ve been keeping of my daily word counts.

In case you’re interested in seeing a copy of it, here it is:

wordcounts (to 27 February, 2010)

I basically showed him how I’ve been keeping track of my work, setting and keeping goals on a daily basis, juggling work, school, etc while taking a very professional approach to my writing. While it impressed him, it impressed me almost more–all of this is so habitual by now that I sometimes forget how hard I’ve been working at it.

The most surprising thing? Since May 2009, I have written over 422,000 words!

😮 😮 😮

There’s a saying in writing that says you have to write one million words before you write your first good word. Until now, I thought I was still somewhat short of that number–on the upper end, certainly, but still short.

Well, I’ve been writing on a more or less daily basis since August 2007. If I’ve written almost half a million words since May 2009, how many words did I write between August 2007 and May 2009? At least half a million, I’m willing to guess!

In other words, it is quite possible that I’ve already surpassed my millionth word.

Wow.

I’m not sure what to think about that. On the one hand, it’s exciting. On the other hand, it’s downright scary. If it’s true, it means that I should move past the apprenticeship phase and start pushing this as my career.

That is insanely scary–and yet, at the same time, absolutely thrilling. It’s going to mean investing a lot more time into researching the market and sending out to agents, receiving lots of rejections and wondering if my stories are any good.

Scary. And yet, when I finally do get a publishing deal (and I’m more confident now than ever that this will actually happen someday–inshallah someday soon), that’s when it gets really scary. If that first book doesn’t earn out, my career will be toast. I’ll have to slave away in an office for the rest of my life.

Holy crap, that’s scary. At the same time, though, it’s gonna be awesome.

Bring it on!

“This is my culture; this is my community”

So back at World Fantasy in San Jose, I picked up a bookmark for a science fiction club in the Washington DC area, WSFA. I figured that since I was headed out there, I should check it out. Last night, I went to my first meeting.

Getting there was quite an adventure. The meeting was in Maryland, at a member’s house–I had to go to the end of the green line, then cross over the beltway and walk nearly three miles to get there. The sidewalks were still covered in snow, so I had to keep to the street, which was a little unnerving on the overpass–but I made it.

I didn’t know anybody there and had no idea what to expect, but the people were friendly and I soon felt like I fit in. It was a little bit like a cross between Quark and Bimbos of the Death Sun, which is a pretty awesome mix. The meeting was called to order and people started discussing some pretty interesting projects, like publishing a special edition Jeff Vandermeer novella for Capclave in October and getting various things for the con squared away.

A couple of things about the club surprised me: one, the members were all middle aged and older; and two, how extremely liberal everyone was, politically. I say I was surprised, but really, I could easily have seen this coming. The east coast is very different from the inter-mountain west, so it stands to reason that there would be differences. Not that I minded.

I’m not sure how many people in the club are writers, but like any good sf&f community, everyone seems to be an avid reader. I was surprised that so few people had heard of World Fantasy, but when I told them I wanted to break into publishing, they all told me that I should come to Capclave, the DC area con that happens in October. Will I be in the area for that? Not sure yet.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to walk back to the metro; one of the regulars was heading to Arlington and gave me a ride. We had an interesting conversation on the way back–he’s from Philly, drove a cab for a few years, and has quite a colorful vocabulary.

We were talking about fandom in general, though, and he made the comment “this is my culture; this is my community.” That’s exactly the sense that I got from the meeting–that these fans have built a community around science fiction and fantasy that transcends fandom and stretches into all other aspects of their life. It’s similar in some ways to the sense of community that you feel in the LDS church–even when you move to a new place, you’re not a stranger.

Am I going to keep coming to WSFA meetings, or become a member? I don’t know. A lot of it depends on what I do in April. I’ll probably come to a few more meetings, though–these are my people.

Got a bite!

Just yesterday, I got a response to a query for Genesis Earth that I emailed to an agent at Nelson Literary Agency, LLC. Apparently, my query piqued their interest and they wanted to see the first 30 pages of my manuscript!

It’s not a huge development, of course–they haven’t requested the full, just a partial–but it’s comforting to know that my query letter is decent. Enough, at least, to lead to the next step, and that’s all that matters.

Writing query letters is hard. There are so many ways to screw them up. I queried another agent over the weekend with a similar (but different) letter, and I got a standard rejection…within the hour. Ouch. I was kind of worried something was wrong with the pitch, but with the other agency’s response, I’m not quite so worried.

Submitting is something that I have to get better at doing. I’ve started putting together a personal database of agents and editors, but still, it takes guts to put your stuff out there. I still get chills whenever I slip that envelope into the mail slot, or hit send on the computer. It’s hard to say exactly what that thrill is–fear of rejection? Fear of failure? I think it’s more complex than that, but I’m not sure exactly what it is, or how to put it. I’ll let you know when/if I figure it out.

I read an interesting post on agent Nathan Bransford’s blog about sending out queries. He suggested the best strategy is to submit in little spurts, rather than all at once–that way, if you only get form rejections, you can figure out what’s wrong and fix it while still having places to send it.

That sounds like a good strategy, but to really make it work, I should probably set a goal to send out a certain number of queries a month. Not sure how many that is, but since my main goal is to have a publishing deal by 2015 (and making a full-time living at this by 2020), it should probably not be a small number. Maybe eight or ten.

I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. In the meantime…here’s to hoping!