Tag: dreams

Trope Tuesday: New Year Has Come

Just like a story, every year has a beginning and an end.  For this reason, New Years has become a time to celebrate change, renewal, and the setting of impossible goals which we will all probably break by March.  Over time, this tradition has become so ingrained in our culture that it’s only natural for it to pop up in our fiction.

Most stories that feature a New Year subplot are episodic, such as cartoons, comics, anime/manga, and television shows.  They usually reflect real-world holiday traditions, such as the practice of setting New Year’s resolutions.  Because all stories need conflict (but also because fiction sometimes reflects reality), the characters in these stories are often just setting themselves up for failure in some hilarious way.

At first glance, this might seem depressing.  After all, if most of us will never reach our goals, why do we even bother setting them?  Why torture ourselves with guilt when, in all likelihood, we’re just setting ourselves up for failure?

In some ways, I think it comes down to this quote from David Gemmell:

May all your dreams come true save one; for what is life without a dream?

One of the things that makes us human is that we all need to have some impossible dream to strive for, some sense of hope for the future.  Through our New Year’s resolutions, we tap into that sense that anything is possible, and that we can change who we are and become better people.

For some of us, those resolutions are an effective tool to turn their lives around.  For those of us who lack that kind of will or self-discipline, the act of setting resolutions still helps us reflect on our lives and change in ways that perhaps we don’t immediately perceive.  After all, the truest measure of success isn’t whether you’ve accomplished all your goals, but how much you’ve changed through striving to meet them.

That’s my take on it, anyway.  In any case, a New Year’s story is a great way to give your characters some time for reflection, since it’s probably the most introspective holiday in our Western culture.  It’s a time for beginnings, endings, and chasing impossible dreams.

Happy New Year!

Decisions suck, writing is awesome

Whew!  I just finished revising through almost 9k words in Desert Stars.  I’ve only got three more chapters and an epilogue to go, and man, I am so excited about this story!  I have no doubt it’s my best work yet.

Of course, I might be biased. 😉

Star Wanderers is also coming along very well.  I’ve only got a few more scenes to write/revise before it’s ready to send off to the next round of first readers.  Part of me wants to send it off to Writers of the Future right now (and according to Dean’s sage advice, that’s probably what I should do), but I want to get some feedback first just to make sure there isn’t something I’ve missed that would make it better.  If all goes well, I’ll probably send it off by the end of the month.

This is the best part of writing process: finishing up a project that you know is good.  This is one reason why I love rewriting so much.  If I could do this all day, every day, and get paid enough for my work to make ends meet, I’d be living the dream.

Until then, however, I’ve got to figure out another way to make ends meet.  One option I’m considering very seriously is selling my contract and driving across the country this Thanksgiving to spend a month or two with my parents before going overseas.  My mom was the one who suggested it, and I have to admit it makes a lot of sense; if I’m going to go abroad to teach English anyways, why not spend some time back home?

If this is something I need to do, I’m going to have to make the decision very soon, possibly before the end of next week–and if you know me, you know that I’m terrible at making decisions.  However, I have been thinking about it enough to make a couple of lists, and this is what I’ve come up with so far:

Reasons to go to abroad:

  • To start a new career.
  • To have adventures.
  • To experience another culture.
  • To gain TEFL experience.
  • To support myself as I write.
  • To have a change.
  • To see the world.
  • To have something to write about.

Reasons to stay in Utah:

  • To get married.
  • To focus on writing.
  • To pursue a graduate degree.
  • To stay in a predominantly Mormon community.

I decided to list only the positive reasons for making either decision, and not to consider any of the creeping doubts or fears (and there are many!).  So let’s break it down:

To start a new career: This seems prudent, especially if it takes a while for my books to really take off.  Specifically, a TEFL career seems like something I could juggle with my writing career, and it would certainly offer a lot more satisfaction than a grunt day job.

To have adventures: Perhaps not the most responsible reason, but hey, you’ve got to remember to have fun.

To experience another culture: One of the perks of traveling, for sure.  It would probably improve my writing considerably as well, though culture shock and distance from family would certainly pose a challenge.

To gain TEFL experience: In other words, to find out if teaching English as a foreign language is something I want to build a career around, or whether I’m just not suited for it.  This is why I’d want to do the TLG program first, before heading off somewhere like Cairo or Amman.  And if it doesn’t work out…well, at least I’d know.  Right now, I don’t.

To support myself as I write: This is huge.  I hear that most TEFL jobs only take up about 20 hours per week, and that if you’re living in a local apartment, it’s not hard to make time to write.  In the past two years, I haven’t had any success balancing writing with full-time work, and working part time probably wouldn’t earn me enough to support myself here in the states.

To have a change: Not quite as tangible a reason, but important nonetheless.  I can’t quite explain it, but if I stay where I am now, in my current life situation…it’s just not going to work out.

To see the world: I could probably lump this under “to have adventures.”

To have something to write about: Also huge.  My experiences in Jordan and the Middle East were a huge inspiration for Desert Stars, and if I’d never gone over there, the novel wouldn’t be nearly as rich.  Who knows what else my imagination would produce if I spent some time traveling the world?

Now, for the other side:

To get married: Honestly, this is more of a negative reason than a positive reason.  I’ve already decided that I’m only going to marry someone who’s a practicing Mormon, and since Utah is predominantly Mormon, I’m worried that if I leave Utah, I won’t be able to find someone.

Trouble is…I’ve been here for almost six years, and still haven’t found anyone.  I could probably put more effort into dating, but the truth is probably that finding a marriage partner is more about your mindset than where you physically live.

Besides, I could always spend a year or two abroad and come back.  I’d be pushing thirty and well beyond “menace to society” status, but at least I wouldn’t be a loser who spent all his twenties in Utah.

To focus on writing: This was why I decided last year not to go teach English in Korea.  The ebook revolution was just getting started, and I felt that I needed to stay in the states to learn how the market was changing and focus on building my indie writing career.

Now, however, I feel like I’m high enough on the learning curve that I can afford to work on other things.  Besides, with the current state of the economy, I don’t think I’m going to find balance if I stay in the states.

To pursue a graduate degree: I’ve largely ruled this one out.  I don’t see how an English degree would help me at this point, and I don’t currently have any career aspirations that would justify pursuing an advanced degree.  The only reason I’d go back to school is to postpone facing the real world, and that’s probably the worst reason I could possibly have.

To stay in a predominantly Mormon community: Kind of the opposite of “see the world” and “experience another culture,” and it gets at the very heart of the matter.  Would it be better to establish myself among people who are more like me and share my values, or should I venture out of the “bubble” and see what else is out there?  I have a much stronger support group here in Utah than I’d probably have as a global nomad, but do I really need it?  Am I independent enough to strike out and bloom wherever I’m planted?

I don’t know.  My thinking is so muddled with doubts and second thoughts that this whole exercise has probably been futile.  If I had to make a decision RIGHT THIS SECOND, however, I’d probably choose to go.

If nothing else, it would give me a good two months of writing time. 🙂

The Obligatory New Year’s Post

So I guess I was lying when I said that my last post was the second to last post of the year.  Oh well–better late than never, I suppose.

Last night at a party, I told someone that 2010 wasn’t that bad…but it was also the worst year of my life.  I suppose that’s true: I got kicked out of my Washington DC internship, almost failed all my classes, spent most of the year unemployed, and never quite achieved full financial independence.

At the same time, I made a bunch of new friends, started two novels and finished another, published an article about the BYU sf&f community that’s garnered some major attention, and generally had a fun time, in spite of the setbacks.

So really, what is there to complain about?  Not much.  Still, I’m glad it’s over.

As far as new year’s resolutions go, I’ve found that the best way to do them is to make one or two of them–otherwise, come February, you lose steam and none of them get done.

I’ve got a couple private resolutions, but here’s the big one I want to focus on:

Resolved: Read a minimum of one book per week.

I made this resolution back in 2008, but it only lasted until mid-March or so–not so much because I wasn’t reading, but because I didn’t understand how I read.

I’m not the kind of person who finishes every book they pick up; in fact, I only finish about 3/4s of them.  If I don’t think a book is good, I stop reading it.  Sometimes, even if a book isn’t bad, I end up putting it down just because I lose interest.  I’m also really picky; I don’t usually read any fiction that isn’t fantasy or science fiction, because the real world bores me.

At the same time, though, if I want to write well, I’ve got to be constantly reading.  And as I’ve written book reviews for this blog, I’ve found that reading widely has helped me to hone my craft.

So anyway, that’s my major resolution for this year.  Other things I would like to do:

1 ) get Army fit
2 ) live in another country
3 ) write a novel entirely in longhand, with actual pen and paper
4 ) get three new publications (two are already in the works)
5 ) fall in love with someone–and then make it grow into real love
6 ) get a MIDI keyboard and compose original 8-bit music
7 ) get a digital SLR and become an amateur astral photographer
8 ) get an agent
9 ) land a publishing deal
10) honestly, it’s just an honor to be read

Do these goals sound a little outlandish?  Sure…but who cares?  We’ve got a whole new year in front of us; anything can happen between now and December 31st!

Happy New Year!

Near scare and an awesome idea for the next novel

I wrote 1,780 words this morning–not bad.  After such a good start, I figured I’d finish the last 720 for the day after finishing the day’s errands.

Long story short, when I finally settled in at 11pm to do a little writing before going to bed, I had some weird problems.  Openoffice froze up, I ended it prematurely, and it turned out that that somehow corrupted one of the files I had opened.  Instead of being 370 KB, it was now over 1,000 KB, and every time I tried to write something,  it froze up for nearly half a minute.

In the end, I had to delete it.

Fortunately, this was NOT the main file for Mercenary Savior. Thank goodness!  It was just the revision notes.  I had copies of both (both about a week old), but I’m glad it wasn’t the main file, because I’d have lost over thirty pages of revisions.  Yikes.

On a totally different note, I had an awesome dream this morning–one that I’m totally using in next novel I’m going to write (probably recycling much of Hero in Exile).  It’s hard to describe it exactly, which is why I added this really weird picture to this post.

You may be wondering, “what the crap is that supposed to be?” I’ll tell you: it’s Arab.  It’s Arab on so many different levels it makes me happy inside.  I took it from the facebook profile pictures album of an old friend of mine from the ELC in Provo.  What’s so Arab about it?  Well, there’s 1) King Abdullah II 2) in battle fatigues 3) waving to the people 4) with an eagle in the background 5) wearing a Bedouin hutta 6) and some kind of military insignia on the agal.  So freaking Arab.

So what was my dream?  Well, it was kind of like a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and…a lot of weird stuff.  At one point, King Hussein of Jordan commanded me to go into the desert east of Jerusalem and raise an army.  I had a lot of questions, so he explained exactly what he wanted me to do–and in so doing,  he explained exactly how the Bedouin fight wars.

Instead of keeping a standing army, a military leader must draw the warriors of the other tribes to his banner through his charisma, egalitarianism, reputation, etc.  The warriors join his campaign, not to serve some grand concept of country, but to win spoils and glory.  Once the campaign ends, they disband and return to their tribes until the next leader rallies them together.

Because of the way this works, a charismatic leader can pass through the desert virtually by himself, only to come out on the other side with a fearsome army.  This is what happened in Lawrence of Arabia when Lawrence took Aqaba–he passed through the desert with a token force of barely fifty men, but the feat (and his brilliant diplomatic skills) so impressed the Bedouins on the other side that they rallied to him and stormed the city.  From the Turks’ point of view, the army came out of nowhere and crushed them.

So that’s what I’m thinking I need to do at some point in my next novel: have the main character, poor and destitute, go out to the desert and rally the tribes with nothing but his charisma.  I’ve already got the rough (VERY rough) outline of the story in my head, and this plot point fits perfectly into this one section where I was worrying that things lagged too much.

Oh man, I’ve got such awesome plans for this book!  But first, must revise Mercenary Savior and send it out.  Don’t worry, I’m enthusiastic about that project, too. It will get done!  Momentum is building–I’ll  more than make up those 720 words tomorrow.

Dreaming up steampunkery

I had the coolest dream last night.

I dreamed that I was in some kind of a steampunk/regency universe–basically, everyone dressed up like the Victorian era and fought with fencing sabers.  I was contracted to go and fight the phantom of the opera, who for some reason was holed up in the JFSB (except, it wasn’t exactly the JFSB, just somewhat analogous). The phantom had a whole bunch of cronies and thugs, and I had to fight them in order to get to him.  Unfortunately, I lost, and his thugs disarmed me and took me prisoner.

Just then, my wife (future wife–I’m not married or engaged right now) came in to rescue me.  The dream panned out so that I was seeing it from her perspective (previously, it had been a sort of detached 3rd person).  She snuck up on the guy guarding the door and stabbed him in the back with a dagger.  Leaving him to die, she jumped into the JFSB where I was (you know the part underneath the big glass facade, three stories below the English department, where the spiral stairs are…except there were no spiral stairs in the dream, just some old dirty couches), and started this awesome swordfight.  She cut down a couple of guys, then attacked the guard holding me captive–and killed him by thrusting her sword through his throat.

It was pretty cool. 😛 Totally reminded me of Vin from Mistborn.  What a woman!

When I woke up from the dream, I wanted to go write some steampunk.  If/whenever I get around to writing a steampunk novel, I definitely want a strong female character who can do that kind of stuff.  Through the throat.  What a way to go!  Suffocate on your own blood while your opponent walks away, leaving you to die.  It’s bad enough getting stabbed in the stomach, but the throat–that takes style.  And improvisation.  Cool.