graduation – Page 2 – One Thousand And One Parsecs

Pluggin’ away

Wrote 2,889 words today, bringing the running 7-day total to just under 15,000 words. If I can keep this up for a month without lagging, I should be able to finish Mercenary Savior 3.0 in time for CONduit.

In the meantime, I’m looking for a job. A friend of mine who’s in Egypt right now told me about this interesting online freelance contractor, which looks like a promising source of cash in the short term. Sent in my application, inshallah will hear back soon. Payment is via paypal on a work for hire basis, with most writers / copy editors averaging $20-$25 per hour, so could be useful. No benefits, but what the heck.

In between writing and applying with the online writing place, I submitted Genesis Earth to a couple new places, and sent From the Ice Incarnate to IGMS. I don’t have many short stories, but I really need to send out the few I do have to more markets. Maybe I can pull out the first couple chapters of some of my novels and call them short stories and/or novellas. Wouldn’t hurt.

Graduation is coming up in less than 100 hours. My parents arrived in town about an hour ago, and the rest of the family should be coming shortly. It will be really good to see them–I’m looking forward to it.

That’s about it for now. I’ve got some other thoughts on jobs, dating, future plans, settling down, an article I’m writing for Mormon Artist, and the computer I want to build once I’ve got a job, but I’ll write about that later. Goodnight.

Quark has a new writing VP

That’s right; her board name is Jimmy and she’s basically doing it the same way I did it–by jumping in the deep end first. Joined quark last semester, went to a few writing meetings, and pow! Writing VP.

Anyways, we had some interesting conversations after the last writing group meeting of the semester. Basically, I think I convinced her to set daily writing goals the same way Aneeka convinced me. She also decided to start a writing blog, so if you get a chance, you should check it out! It’s called Dragons, Dirt & Bones, after the quote by G. K. Chesterton:

Fairytales are more than true–not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

The funny thing is that we met each other two years ago and both totally forgot about it. She was a high school junior visiting BYU, and came to Brandon Sanderson’s English 318 class. She remembers bookstore guy…and one of the writers whom the others in the writing group mercilessly ripped on. Guess who that was?

In unrelated news, I am no longer homeless but am currently unemployed. Dropped off a business card at Pioneer Book, though–told them I could help if they need extra work for the move. Who knows, maybe that will lead to something.

I will probably end up getting a generic summer job, then upgrade to something more semi-permanent (and resume friendly) by August. I’ll probably stay in Utah, using my writing and editing skills in some capacity. I’d like to work as a grant writer for BYU, but they’re still under a hiring freeze. Once that lifts, though, there are going to be a ton of job openings.

My primary plan is still to make my living as a published author, and I’m very optimistic about that working out. Before the end of next week, I want to have Genesis Earth sent out to at least five new places. My goal for Mercenary Savior is to finish draft 3.0 by CONduit at the end of May, but I will probably polish the first three chapters and start sending it out before then.

In the meantime, the real world awaits. Scary, I know, but at least I’m graduating debt free, with a roof over my head, friends and family close by, and lots of exciting possibilities for the future. I think things will turn out well.

Quarterly report

So I figure that since I want to write professionally, it would be a good idea to keep track of my writing and do quarterly updates on my blog. Here’s the first one for this year:

The red line shows my daily writing word count, the blue line a running seven day total. The graph starts January 1st and goes to March 31st.

For the first part of January, the seven day total was high for a week because I’d just finished Bringing Stella Home 2.0. It dropped down way low for a while because I was busy moving into the Barlow center, starting my internship, and starting a new novel at the same time. Combining all three of those things at the same time made for very little progress, until about the middle part of the month.

Things progressed at a moderate rate (about 1k words per day) from the middle of January until snowmageddon, which hit us in the second week of February. I got a lot of writing done while snowed in, and my work in progress at the time, To Search the Starry Sea 1.0, got a lot of momentum behind it.

That momentum started to taper off, as I realized that the story I was writing was different than the story I had in my head. I swear, this happens EVERY time I try to write a novel. I tried to stick with the story in my head, but the gap got wider and wider until I realized the story just wasn’t working.

At the end of February, I decided to put it on the back burner and let my ideas simmer for a while. I’ll probably pick it up again at some point in the future, but not in the short term–I need to put it away for a while. I’m sure I’ll finish it someday, though.

So then, in the beginning of March, I went through all the comments I’d received on Bringing Stella Home. The HUGE spike you see right around the middle of the month represents all the revision notes I put together for the 3.0 draft. I read through the entire manuscript in about a week and a half, made a detailed scene by scene outline, and figured out my strategy for the revision.

Things dropped off again pretty sharply the last couple weeks of March because that was right around when I was fired from my internship. That was one hell of a stressful week. They picked up pretty quick after that, though, because 1) I had a lot more free time, and 2) I’m REALLY excited about this project.

Looking ahead, I think if I push myself, I can finish Bringing Stella Home 3.0 by the end of April. It will be difficult because I’ll be looking for an apartment and a job at the same time, but after next week I won’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore (potentially for the rest of my life…whoa). Definitely, I’ll have it done in time for CONduit 2010.

One thing I need to work on a lot more is submitting. I’ve got a list of agents to submit Genesis Earth to, I just haven’t got around to sending it to them all. The responses I’ve received have been generally encouraging: all rejections, but about half form rejections, half personalized in some way. I do think this book will find it’s way in print, though it may not be my first to be published.

Even though Bringing Stella Home will probably need at least one more major revision before the full manuscript is ready to be sent out to editors/agents, I can probably polish the first three chapters enough to shop it around sometime in May. I’m not sure if that’s what I’ll do, but it’s an option. It depends on whether I jump right in to the 4.0 revision after finishing the current draft, which I probably won’t do; better to let it sit for a while.

Instead, I think I’ll jump right in to finishing that novel I started in late 2008, Hero in Exile. The title will have to change (as always), but I’ve got a lot of fresh ideas for it, plus the enthusiasm to pull it off. In many ways, Hero in Exile is a non-linear sequel to Bringing Stella Home, so if I get a deal with the one, I can always pitch the other as the next in the series. That’s a huge plus–and a major reason why I’ll be enthusiastic about the project, since the two novels build off of each other.

Anyway, that’s what things are looking like from here. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I’ll read a couple of friends’ novels (I haven’t forgotten about you, Jakeson and Drek!), graduate, get an apartment, get a job (inshallah), write an article for Mormon Artist, go to a con or two, and maybe even get a girlfriend and/or figure out what to do with my life.

Goodbye DC

So I have some crazy, unbelievable news to share: I got fired from my internship, under disputed circumstances. That’s right: fired from my unpaid internship four weeks before it was scheduled to end.

The exact reasons for the termination were never made completely clear to me, but I suspect politics played a significant role and that’s all I’m going to say about it here. If you want to know more, please contact me privately.

Fortunately, the Washington Seminar people have agreed to let me get credit for my academic work–which means that I’ll be able to graduate. I’ve been sent home early, but I can still pass the class with a C/C-.

Oh well. In some ways, this kind of sucks, but in other ways, it’s a blessing in disguise. I learned everything that I needed to learn from my internship: that I don’t want to pursue a career in government or policy making.

Government work is long, hard, and very intensive. It also involves office politics, sitting behind a desk, and fighting entrenched bureaucracies. It’s not the kind of career that allows time for family, let alone writing. And the payoff? The common refrain I heard was that the work was “interesting.” Not “meaningful,” “life-changing,” “personally enriching,” or any of that–just “interesting.”

Nope. Not for me.

I also learned that the kind of people who are attracted to Washington DC are not the kind of people I feel very comfortable around. Generally speaking, Washington DC tends to attract people who are ambitious, self-absorbed, arrogant, loud, poor listeners, opinionated, and oblivious of the people around them. This certainly wasn’t true of everyone, both at the institute and at the Barlow center, but I found they were the exceptions to the rule.

I will say a few positive things, though. DC has some excellent museums and monuments–the best of any I’ve seen anywhere else. In particular, I found the FDR memorial, the Portrait Gallery, and the science and innovation exhibit at the American History Museum particularly moving.

In terms of people, ironically, the ones that struck me as most sincere and genuine were all politicians. In particular, I was struck by Congressman Matheson and Senator Bennett. I’m not sure if I would vote for either of them–it depends on their stance on the issues–but they both struck me as intelligent, well meaning, good people.

I will also say that my respect for the military went up significantly. After hearing so many people spout of so much self-important hot air about this or that political issue, it was remarkably refreshing to see people who were willing to put their lives on the line for their country. To any servicemen reading this, thank you for all you do. I have nothing but the deepest respect and admiration for you.

My experience in the Barlow center was generally quite positive. I had an excellent roommate and made quite a few friends. I’m sorry if I seemed kind of aloof most of the time–it’s probably because I was miserable for other reasons and didn’t realize it. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone again back in Provo.

So, what’s the plan now? Finish the academic side of things ASAP, then head back to Utah. I’ve got a lot of old friends I want to catch up with before the summer, not to mention the last couple English 318 classes. That’s one thing I sorely missed this semester–English 318. Beyond that, I don’t quite know–a lot of things are still in the air. I’m confident, however, that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

Go to Tor.com and read this.

Brandon Sanderson’s story of how he decided to become a writer is very interest. It goes back to elementary school, when he hated books and reading in general. A wise teacher put a copy of Barbara Hambly’s Dragonsbane in his hand, and it started a chain reaction that led to him becoming a bestselling writer.

As one of Brandon’s students, I’ve heard the story several times. However, I had no idea how significant a role that Michael Whelan, the illustrator of that book, played in it all. Tor commissioned Michael Whelan to do the cover for Brandon’s next book, The Way of Kings. In response, Brandon wrote a blog post at Tor.com explaining how significant it is to him that Mr. Whelan was chosen to do the cover art for The Way of Kings.

It’s an awesome and moving blog post. You should check it out.

In unrelated news, I am 110 pages into outlining Bringing Stella Home 3.0 and enjoying the process immensely. I’ve got some awesome first readers. Even with all the honest criticism, I’d much rather be writing than doing office work at my internship. Ah, well, April 15th will be here before we know it.

As for graduating and finding myself in the real world…not quite as thrilled about that. More like scared s***less.

Finishing and beginning

Classes for this semester are over, I’ve turned in all my papers, taken all my exams but one, and now I feel like I have this giant void in my life. I was walking around on campus today with literally no idea where I was going or what I should do.

It was…strange.

With school out, I’m getting ready to leave Provo for good. I won’t be coming back for the winter, seeing as I’ll be in Washington DC. As for post graduation plans, nothing’s solid, but I probably won’t be coming back to Utah. Not for a while, at least.

It’s exciting and scary, but mostly exciting. 2010 is going to mark the end of my academic career and my first venture into the real world. Beyond this internship, I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I’m starting to formulate some plans. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Post-graduation options:

Go to grad school
Work side jobs while writing novels
Travel across the Middle East for a year or two
Start a career in Washington DC

The first option (grad school) isn’t going to happen right away. I’ve already decided that I’m not going to go to grad school until I have a definite plan for what I want to accomplish with it (an “exit strategy,” if you will). Interning in Washington might give me an idea of what I want to study, but I’ll probably take a year off from academics just the same.

The second option (side jobs & writing) is an interesting option that I haven’t really thought through. It would involve a lot more focus on writing and trying to get published, but it would also involve a lot of uncertainty until my writing career really gets launched. However, I’d have a lot of flexibility in where I could live. I could stay in Washington DC, or move back to Massachusetts, or come back to Utah.

The third option (travel) is definitely the most exciting and adventurous of the four. It would involve living in a Middle Eastern country for a year or two, teaching English to support myself while I see the country and work on my writing. Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt, even the Gulf…man, it would be awesome! I have friends from the MESA program who are doing it, too.

Man, that would be fun–and definitely give me a lot to write about, besides awesome life experiences! Finding a girl and settling down, though…probably not going to happen until I get back. That’s the downside.

The fourth option (career) is entirely dependent on what happens this winter in Washington. If I find that I love what I’m doing with my internship, I’ll probably look to get a job with WINEP or an organization like it. I’ve got to admit, it would certainly give me a comforting degree of direction and certainty if such were the case–to graduate with a job in hand, doing something that I love.

At the same time, however, there’s a danger that a career in this field might not leave me with much time to pursue my writing. My dream job is still to be a full-time novelist, and I need to remember that while I’m in Washington. If I find that my work with WINEP leaves me with little to no time to write, I’ll have to re-evaluate my plans.

So really, this internship in Washington is going to be more about testing the waters than anything else. I’m going to have to periodically ask myself 1) whether this is the kind of work I find enjoyment and personal fulfillment doing, 2) whether this is the kind of work I can balance with a writing career, and 3) what opportunities are available for me in this particular field. Since it all depends on how the internship goes, I can anticipate one of three things happening:

Possible reactions to my internship:

I love the work that I do for my internship.
I hate the work that I do for my internship.
I am utterly indifferent to the work I do for my internship.

If #1 is the case, I should focus on getting a job from my internship connections, provided I can still make time to write while doing this kind of work. If not, I can probably still find a similar career path that does allow me enough time to pursue a writing career on the side.

If #2 is the case, it means that policy making and research is not my thing, but I still have a passion for the Middle East. Taking a year or two off to travel will become a very appealing option at that point.

If #3 is the case, it means that I’m going to have to completely retool. I have no idea what I’ll end up doing if this happens. Travel, maybe–but what good would it do me, if a Middle East related career doesn’t interest me? Maybe I’ll take a year off to work on my math and go back to grad school for astronomy. Maybe I’ll work odd jobs like Robert Charles Wilson until I get published. Maybe I’ll become a hobo and vanish into obscurity. I don’t know.

Whatever happens, writing is going to be a priority. If I can make an adequate living writing fiction, I’m going to do it. Which makes me wonder–what does that mean about all my other plans? Is all of this Middle East stuff just a temporary fix until I get published, hopefully in the next five years? Or is it something more permanent?

I have absoultely no idea, but this post is already getting pretty long, so I’ll cut it here. Regardless what happens, however, I’m 100% confident that everything will work out in the way that it should. These life changes are more exciting than they are scary. I’m looking forward to the new year very much!

An existential time of year

School has been kicking my trash this semester. Maybe it’s senioritis or something, but I feel like I’m doing half the work I did as a junior and still, all I can do is put out fires.

I was hoping to be finished with Genesis Earth 4.0 by now, but it’s looking like that won’t happen until the end of this week. If I really push myself, I could probably get it done tomorrow…in fact, I may just do that. Schoolwork can wait–this is what I want to do with my life.

Around this time of year, my thoughts tend to become morose and existential. Maybe it’s the lack of sunlight, or the end-of-semester crunch, but I always wonder why I’m doing what I’m doing, what the point of it is, where I’m headed in my life–that kind of stuff. For some reason, I get the feeling that my life is empty in some way.

It’s not overwhelming, fortunately. I don’t have depression or anything like that. Just…a sense of discontentment. Maybe it has to do with finals. I don’t know.

But I do know that it sucks to be pulled in so many different directions all the time. Classes, work, writing, classes; finals, papers, papers and finals to grade, writing, more papers and finals. It sucks. I can’t wait until graduation!

(talk about famous last words o.O )

In any case, Genesis Earth is just about finished. I’m finding that the closer I get to the end, the more I find that needs to be revised. I’ll probably have to insert a new scene in the second to last chapter, just to tie them closer together. For some reason, the last chapter feels too…short. And disconnected. Dammit.

And then, sometime between now and my personal exodus from Provo, I need to look up places to submit this thing. I haven’t even begun to do that. Crap. Since this is the most polished draft of anything I’ve done up to this point, I’m going to be pretty hard core about submitting.

And then, somehow, I need to finish the second draft for Bringing Stella Home before New Years. Holy crap, that novel is so full of holes. I’m not going to even begin to be able patch them until the third draft, whenever that happens. Inshallah, I can get that done over Christmas break…inshallah.

And then, something entirely new! But it’s past 1am, so I’m not going to elaborate. I’ve got some cool ideas, though–some crazy cool ideas. Stay tuned.

I <3 Lunasa

Lunasa is an Irish folk music band–one of the best that I know. If you haven’t heard of them, you should check them out.

I mean, at the very least, check out Kevin Crawford’s mad whistling:

Crazy!

Sometimes, when I wonder what I should do after I graduate, I get these starry eyed dreams of becoming a celtic rockstar–or, at the very least, a street musician. That would be kind of fun, sitting out in the open air, playing music to the world, waiting on the charity and generosity of strangers. I mean, at least for the first couple of hours, that would be fun–wouldn’t it?

Yeah, better stay in school. In the meantime, though, here is one of my own original pieces. Not anywhere near as awesome as Lunasa, but not too shabby either:

Street musician…maybe I should try it. Or maybe I should wait for the spring first…

What did you do with your summer?

This is the question I’m kind of worried people will ask me (or I’ll ask myself) when fall rolls around. It’s looking more and more like I won’t be going to New York for the internship, so that begs the question–what else are you going to do? Are you going to be productive and do something that helps boost your future career, or are you going to waste your time and have this gaping hole in your resume?

Well…I don’t know what to say. I mean, I could use a break, but I also don’t want the days to turn into weeks and the weeks to slip away until I have nothing to show for myself. I suppose the best thing to do would be to make some plans and set some goals.

I do already have a backup plan–or at least, a vision of how I want to use this time. And honestly, I’m kind of glad that I’m not going to New York this summer, partially because it means I don’t have to get catapulted out of my comfort zone here in Provo (not a good reason), but mostly because it means I can focus on the things I really want–and need–to do.

I mean, half of me seems to be freaking out, afraid that I’ll just end up wasting this time. But the other half is both calm and optimistic, and with good reason. My sister and her husband (in a surprisingly generous gesture) offered to let me stay in their spare room over the spring term without paying any rent (just so long as I help out with groceries, dishes, that sort of thing). I have no financial stressors, no pressing obligations, access to vast amounts of resources (ie BYU campus), lots of friends in the area that I can call on for support, as much free time as I could possibly ask for…I mean, if ever I had any freedom to spend my time doing what I want to do and working towards what I want to work towards, now is that time. There are virtually no restrictions, and that’s awesome.

Of course, with all of that freedom comes the freedom to screw it up. But I won’t be doing that. I know exactly what I need to do, and how this summer can help me achieve my long term goals.

I want to be a full time writer. At least, that’s what I think I want. This summer, I can test that out and see if the full time writing thing is something I can actually stand. Since I don’t have any pressing work or school obligations, and no financial obstructions either, I can devote this time to work on my writing, hone my craft, and produce something that I can take to an agent/editor and sell. I’ve been writing nonstop for the past two years, but always as an on-the-side kind of thing. Now I can see if this is something I can actually stomach for doing full time.

Goal #1: produce on a consistent basis as if writing were my full time job.

And, while regular practice is one of the best ways to hone your craft, it’s better to both read and write–read the kind of stuff that you’d like to write, and use what you read to help improve your writing.

Goal #2: read and review, on this blog, 15 works of science fiction / fantasy (that’s roughly 1 per week, with a little bit of room for leeway).

And, so long as I’m honing my craft, I shouldn’t restrict myself to just reading and writing. There are a number of good conventions and writers’ conferences, both here in Utah and on the east coast where I’m from. Besides the opportunity to hear some great talks and panels by experts on the craft, I might also be able to make connections in the sf&f community, the publishing world, and may even have the chance to sell some of my work. At the very least, I can practice doing all that stuff.

Goal #3: attend at least 3 conventions and/or writers’ conferences.

One of the things I want the most from this summer is the long-term perspective and vision I need to make some very important life decisions in the near future. Part of that is trying out the full time writing thing, but it’s not limited to that either. I’ll be graduating soon, probably within the next year, and I still don’t have any post-graduation plans. Hopefully, the free time this summer will give me a chance to take a step back and make some plans.

But while thinking things out and weighing my options is definitely part of doing that, another very important part is listening to the spirit, praying about my options and plans, and connecting with the Lord on these things. Towards that end, I need to work on my personal spirituality, my relationship with the Lord, and take the time to really listen on a spiritual level. As a summer nomad, working on this individually is going to be even more critical, because I won’t be settled in one ward for a long period of time.

Goal #4: consistent daily scripture study.
Goal #5: worship at the temple at least once weekly.

I think it was my grandfather who said that as long as you’ve got your health, you can do just about anything. It’s true–being in good physical condition can really help you get everything else done in a much more efficient and effective way. Besides, it’s important for it’s own sake. With all this free time, if I didn’t exercise at all I would certainly be neglecting myself.

Goal #6: work out at least five times a week and eat healthy.

And finally, while I still have enough grant money left over to cover just about anything I want to do this summer, it would be wiser (and helpful for my resume) to carry a few jobs and at least break even. I’m not paying rent, but I am paying for food, gas, car and health insurance, and tickets to all those conventions and conferences I want to go to. Besides, if I don’t spend the grant money now, I can spend it later on a poli sci internship next school year, possibly in Washington DC or even Scotland.

Goal #7: find part time employment and try to break even.

So those are my seven goals this summer; we’ll see how it works out. Usually, I’m not that good at keeping goals and resolutions, but I think these will at least point me in the right direction.

Running the gauntlet

In the past five days, I have written somewhere on the order of 10,000 words. None of them has been fiction (at least, not explicitly–more BS, if anything).

One monster history term paper, one middling poli sci essay, and two exams requiring 2,000 and 1,000 word essays. Blegh. Like pulling teeth.

The upside is, it’s almost finished! Just got my history exam left, and it shouldn’t be too hard. There is an essay, but the teacher already gave us the two questions from which he’ll pick the one on the test, and a short answer section. The rest is multiple choice. Not too hard, especially because I’ve really enjoyed the class.

The two exams I took today…let’s just say I’m glad it’s behind me. The deeper you get into your major, the more you have to take dumb classes about things you don’t care just to graduate. Blegh.

There is one other exam besides the history one, but I’m not counting it because it’s Brandon Sanderson’s English 318 class. His final exams consists of the first three chapters of you novel, plus a query letter and synopsis that he’ll mail out to the editor/agent of your choice (sending out the submission is a required part of the final). I did some research, found an agent, sent out a query email. If I get a response, I’ll send out the chapters to her. If not…I’ll send it out somewhere else. It didn’t seem like she wanted people to send her partials without her requesting it, so I didn’t send that out.

You know, it’s funny how the title of your novel seems a whole lot less clever when you’re finally sending it out to people.

And, as if things weren’t crazy enough, Utah decided to play jokes on us with the weather. We got our worst snowstorm of the year…on April 15th? Holy cow! WTH? (that’s “what the heck,” for all of you non-Utahans)

Here are some shots from my photoblog, before and after (or rather, before and during).

Crazy!