If it kills me

I will finish this novel if it kills me. At the rate things are going, it just might.

Things are kind of tough for me right now.  I desperately need a new job–the one I’ve got is slowly sucking away my soul without even paying enough to get by–and job rejections are way worse than rejections from publishers (I’ve been getting a lot of both, by the way.  Not that I’m looking for pity, but yeah.).

As if that weren’t bad enough, my current novel, Worlds Away from Home, is turning out to be a train wreck.  There are all sorts of problems with character motivations, improper foreshadowing and plot set up, etc etc.  That makes it REALLY hard to get motivated to write each day.  Yesterday, I wrote only 245 words (youch).  Today, I did about 2.2k, but that’s still way less than I need to be doing.

The thing that worries me the most is the thought that the audience for this particular story may be slim to nonexistent.  It’s solid space opera, but with a romantic element that challenges a lot of the mores of our modern, sex-saturated society, as well as many of the conventions of romance within science fiction.

The main female protagonist is something of a pushover–but she has to be, in order for her growth arc to have any umph.  The main male protagonist is an orphan on a quest to discover his own origins, kind of like a cross between Mogli and Pip.  His quest, combined with her parents’ manipulative attempts to get them physically intimate too soon, are the main things keeping them apart.

But in a genre where physical intimacy usually marks the romantic climax, how do you make it out to be the obstacle against that climax?  Will science fiction readers go for that, or will they hurl my book across the room because of it?

Well, if they hurled my current draft, I wouldn’t blame them one single bit.  So many plot holes and awkwardly written scenes–ugh.  I’ve got to seriously rethink so much about this story.  But a later draft?  I don’t know–maybe it would work.  It would probably need other hooks to keep them engaged, such as cool world building elements, but I think I could make those work.

Anyway, I suppose it’s nothing unusual.  For every book I’ve written, I’ve come to a point in the rough draft where I thought the story was completely unworkable and should be scrapped.  It’s a tortuous, masochistic process, but I suppose it’s normal.  That’s some comfort, at least.

My goal is to finish this abomination by August 15th, then move on to polish Mercenary Savior and make it really shine.

Another goal is to get a decently paying job (at least $8/hr at +25 hours per week) in order to afford to go to DragonCon in September.  Another goal is to reteach myself algebra and calculus through the math books my dad (who is a geometry teacher) is letting me borrow.  Another goal is to actually get a social life.  BLARG.

Weird slump

Man, I’m going through a really weird slump these days.  Yesterday, I wrote 2.5k words, and today, I only wrote 1.5k words–this, in spite of the fact that I’m only working about three hours a day.  It’s kind of frustrating.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m right at the end of this novel.  I’ve got 10k words to go, only 12 scenes, but I’m kind of burned out on it.  I already know it’s going to need another revision after this one, and while I’m trying hard to fix things, it’s more on the overall story level, not on the detailed polish level, where I usually thrive.

The real truth, though, is probably that my days are split up so weird.  I work from three to six, and most days I have obligations in the evening (Leading Edge, Institute, FHE, etc).  To add to that, Tuesdays and Thursdays I donate plasma in the mornings, which usually takes up a couple hours.  When you’re already in the mood to procrastinate, it doesn’t help it when your free time comes in 2 to 3 hour chunks.

Oh well.  At least I’m still producing.

CONduit starts tomorrow, and I am totally stoked.  Last year was excellent, and I’m looking forward very much to this year as well.  I don’t think there’ll be too many agents and editors there, but there will be a ton of other writers, most of whom I expect I’ll see at other major conventions across the country.

Speaking of conventions, I’m thinking very seriously about attending Dragoncon this year.  When I spoke with Dan Wells at the Provo Library event a couple weeks ago, he told me that DragonCon is going to be big for writers this year, on account of Worldcon being in Australia and World Fantasy being in Ohio.

I’ve got a friend in Atlanta who can put me up and/or has friends who can as well, so housing shouldn’t be too difficult.  My Dad’s giving me the old Buick, and it’s got lots of space, so I could probably fit four or five people in it.  If we took turns driving, we could probably make it out there nonstop, and membership only costs like $80.  At ten tanks of gas split by five people, plus maybe $100 for food and other expenses, it seems like a pretty good deal.  Anyone interested?

If I’m going to Dragoncon this year, I suppose I should make it my goal to get Mercenary Savior polished and ready for it.  That should be enough time–a month or two to let it sit, then a couple months to polish it.  Definitely doable.

In the meantime, I’ll be finishing this draft this weekend, inshallah.  I’d like to finish it on the bus to Salt Lake, but I doubt that’ll be the case.  10k words is a lot of writing, and I’ll be busy all day at the con.  I’ll let you know how it goes, though–stay tuned!

Book Festival and other updates

So last Friday, there was a book fair at the Provo Library.  I only heard about it the night before from Facebook, but there were almost twenty authors on the guest list, so I figured it would be a good place to go to meet other writers.  I wasn’t mistaken!

I biked up to the library just as Brandon Sanderson was walking in.  We chatted for a while, caught up on stuff since the last time I took his class.  I almost got to walk into the author’s only lounge with him, but one of the staff stopped me.  One of these days, though…one of these days!

I also ran into Dan Wells, who remembered me from World Fantasy and gave me a very nice compliment: he said I was very good at approaching people, especially at conventions.  Talked about the different cons this year; according to Dan,  Dragoncon is going to be huge this year, since Worldcon is in Australia and World Fantasy is in Ohio.  I have a friend in Atlanta–I’ll have to look into attending that.

Brandon Sanderson, Clint Johnson, Mette Ivie Harrison, and J. Scott Savage did a panel on writing fantasy.  Fortunately, I had my mp3 player on me and was able to record it.  If you would like to listen to it, you can find it here:

Fantasy Panel, Provo Children’s Book Festival (15 May 2010)

Clint had some interesting advice for me after the panel; he asked about the books I’ve written and said I should submit them to YA agents/editors as well as mainstream adult agents/editors.  Apparently, Genesis Earth and Mercenary Savior could work as YA, since 1) they’re about (relatively) young protagonists having coming-of-age experiences and learning how they want to live their lives, and 2) they don’t have the sense of nostalgia that adults often have when they think about their childhood.

So that was the Provo Children’s Book Festival.  Let me just say, this is one of the reasons why I love Utah: the writing scene for fantasy/sf/YA is HUGE.  Tons of writers, tons of readers, local writing events all the time–it’s great.

In other updates, I got a personalized rejection from Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show! It was a pretty long one, too.  The assistant editor said the writing was pretty good, but it felt too much like a novel.  Hehe…confession, it was part of a novel.  But that’s awesome that he thought the writing was good!

Besides that, he gave a lot of suggestions as to formatting, referring me to this site for detailed ms instructions.  I didn’t think most editors would mind Times New Roman, but if it’s an issue even for a few of them, I should probably just switch to Courier–no editor is going to fault me for using Courier.

Besides all that, I’m well on my way to finishing Mercenary Savior 3.0 before CONduit.  My goal right now is to finish it next Tuesday and spend Wednesday and Thursday sending it out.  After CONduit, I plan on starting Hero in Exile (except the name will change), and I have a TON of great ideas for it.  Funny how sometimes in order to finish a book, you need to write another one first.