Buy me lunch and I’ll teach you how to make an ebook

Okay, this is insane.  For a long time, I’ve kept up with Writer Beware as a source for quality news about publishing scams, but now…huh?

Recently, Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Katherine Rusch have been giving a TON of warnings about “agent-publishers” –agents who are electronically publishing their clients when they’re supposed to represent their clients’ interests to publishers.

DWS and KKR have both been unequivocal about this–any agent doing this is running a scam and should be avoided like the plague.  And you know what?  I believe them.  Why?  Because using entirely free and/or open source software, I can create a professionally formatted ebook from any of my manuscripts in less than an hour. 

Less than an hour.

And I’m not a computer expert either, just a blogger who knows some basic html (which you, too, can learn free of charge at w3schools).

Well, just today I read a post on Writer Beware about these agent-publishers that made my jaw drop.  Summary: agents who ran publishing operations used to be considered scammers, but things have changed so that that’s legit now.  The phrase that really got to me was “unimpeachably reputable agencies.”

Huh?

According to DWS and KKR, these “unimpeachably reputable agencies” become scammers the moment they start publishing their clients’ works.  Clearly, someone is wrong, and my own experience tells me it isn’t DWS or KKR.

Making a professional looking ebook is literally easier than writing a query or a synopsis.  Light years easier.  Paying someone a commission for doing it is like writing the boy down the street who mows your lawn into your mortgage contract.  It makes literally no business sense.

And yet people still think that this agent-publisher things is legitimate?  Wha…?

Okay, you know what?  If you’re a writer in the Provo/Orem area, I’ll show you everything I know about making an ebook if you’ll buy me lunch.  Heck, if you live in Salt Lake and are willing to take me to this awesome Lebanese place, I’ll make a special trip just for you!

I’ll show you what you need to download, install it for you, teach you how it works, and run you step by step through the formatting process until you have a beautiful ebook on your hard drive.  I’ll teach you everything I know (which honestly isn’t that much), and I’ll do it all for the price of lunch.  Just email me at joseph [dot] vasicek [at] gmail [dot] com, and I’ll write you into my schedule.

Why would I take the time out of my day (and away from my own writing) to do this?  Well, for one, I really like Lebanese food.  But more importantly, it’s in all of our interests as writers that none of us get caught up in these crazy scams.  They don’t benefit us and will actually hurt us all in the long run, if we let them happen.

So yes, once again, if you’re a writer living anywhere between Provo and Salt Lake City, I will show you everything I know about formatting ebooks if you will buy me lunch. I’m not even joking.

And I love Lebanese food.  Once we’re finished, I think you will too.

By Joe Vasicek

Joe Vasicek is the author of more than twenty science fiction books, including the Star Wanderers and Sons of the Starfarers series. As a young man, he studied Arabic and traveled across the Middle East and the Caucasus. He claims Utah as his home.

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