Joe Vasicek

I love writing

Man, I love writing. I wrote 1,617 words today, and when I wasn’t writing I was thinking about what I was going to write. I only regret that I waited until about 10:30 pm to start writing; it’s 2:10 am and I still haven’t started my Arabic homework 😛

When I started Hero in Exile, I tried to plan everything out before I started writing. As a result, writing was a real chore, and to make it more of a creative exercise than merely transcribing what I’d already worked out in my head, I played around a lot with the language and writing style. It was still a chore, but I think my writing improved quite a lot. I’ve gotten some really interesting comments back on my writing style for Genesis Earth, some very encouraging comments about the way I played around with the English language.

For this story, Bringing Estella Home, it’s both completely different and more of the same. I’m going into chapter 4 without any planning or preconceptions, so practically all the world building is on the fly. It’s wonderful. This is the chapter where Estella enters the harem and gets assimilated, in a certain way, into Hameji society. It’s basically her discovery of this new world, and it is so much fun creating it as I go along. Lots of room for a creative outlet, and yet at the same time, I’m also playing around with the language aspects of the narrative like I did in Hero in Exile and Genesis Earth. The result, I hope, is good quality creative writing.

Of course, one of the side effects of this process is that it sucks up a ton of my time. A ton of time, and not just time–since I’ve got internet access here, there is no shortage of distractions to tempt and indulge me. This is actually quite a serious problem–and yet, if I forced myself to focus, would I really have been more productive? It’s hard to say, because taking little breaks every once and a while can actually help you think of better ways to phrase things. Still, I know that I worked a lot slower because of all these distractions; perhaps a little more self-discipline would have really helped me out.

When I move out on my own and make my own writing space, it’s going to be in a secluded corner of my house somewhere, with an old desktop computer that has no internet access, just word processors and perhaps an electronic encyclopedia of some kind.

I’m going to have an overstuffed easy chair pulled up to the desk where the computer is, the kind that I can just lay back in and get absorbed by the sheer comfort of it. I’m sitting in a chair kind of like that right now, and it is wonderful.

I’m going to have lots and lots of music on this computer, especially trance music because it helps drown out a lot of outside distractions. This room is going to have a skylight, but it’s also going to have a door with a lock. There will be no phone in this room, and I’ll probably leave my cell phone outside.

There will, however, be a bookshelf on the wall behind me (at least one, perhaps two), filled with all kinds of books, most of them sci fi paperbacks, but also with a few key books on various interesting and miscellaneous subjects, as well as books with quotes about writing.

Sitting prominently on my desk, between a couple of bookends, I’ll have a few copies of my own books in print, just so that I can look at them and think “wow, that’s my name on those books! My very own name! I’m in print!” And, at least for the first few years, it will not get old, no matter how many times I look at them. 🙂

It’s going to be great. In the meantime, I should do my Arabic homework. 😛

Star Wars Euphoria

Ok, here’s a funny story.

Sunday, I usually don’t go anywhere, so when I parked my car on Saturday I set it to play the main title of Star Wars as soon as I put the keys in the ignition. I figured that by the time I needed to drive anywhere, I would have forgotten all about it and it would be a pleasant surprise.

Rewind a couple of weeks. An old roommate of mine had been wanting to set up a double date with him, me, and our dates to go to the BYU planetarium. We went a couple of weeks ago, just to check it out, and it was really cool! Definitely fun. Also, I’ve got all the stuff to make some really delicious homemade granola, so we could do that as well. Food, girls, astronomy–how can you go wrong with that kind of a combination?

So then, rewind a little more. There’s this girl in my FHE group who I’ve been wanting to ask out for a while. She’s pretty cool, easy to talk with, funny, and interesting. She sometimes likes to commandeer a booth at Wilk with her friends and put up a sign that says “free advice.” I had a lot of fun hanging out with her a couple of times this past semester, and she seems really friendly.

Fast forward to yesterday. My old roommate and I had decided to do this planetarium date thing this Friday, and I figured it would be a great opportunity to ask out this girl from my FHE group. Of course, during and immediately after FHE there wasn’t much of an opportunity to talk with her, since everyone else was there, but afterwards I went over to my apartment and did dishes for a little while. I figured I’d drop in on my way out to campus.

Now, I’m a senior at BYU, and I hate to admit it, but I still find it really difficult to ask girls out. I mean, I’m not as awkward or scared of it as I used to be, but still, it’s not the easiest thing in the world. I have to work myself up to do it, and even then, there comes a point where you have to stop thinking and just go for it. The adrenaline builds up, you’re playing out all the worst case scenarios in your head, and some part of your brain starts coming up with excuses for why you shouldn’t ask right now.

So there I was, finishing up the dishes, trying to work myself up to doing this. I mean, come on? Anime characters who are ten years younger than me do this kind of stuff all the time, and half the time they are scrawny misfits! What does that say about me?? So I threw my stuff in the car, closed the door, and walked over to this girl’s apartment…

…and she said yes! Hooray! She seems really interested, too! Victory!

So then, in this post-adrenaline state of euphoria, I hoped in my car, stuck the key in the ignition, and…

…SHEBAM!! STAR WARS THEME SONG!!!!

Oooh yeah! Life is good!

I swear I’m not morbid

Wow, I had a interesting experience writing today. I only got about 650 words in, but I spent almost half an hour just walking around and thinking about it.

The basic premise of Bringing Estella Home (I should probably think of a better title…) is that the young protagonist was forcibly and unexpectedly separated from his older brother and sister when a barbarian war fleet invaded their solar system, and he’s trying to find and rescue them. The barbarians capture and enslave both the brother and the sister–they send the brother into a very brutal brainwashing program to turn him into one of their empath soldiers, and they turn the sister into a concubine to the head of the fleet.

Well, in the scene I wrote today, the Hameji put Ben (the captured brother) through a mock execution, after putting him through weeks of physical and psychological torture. The idea is to break him down completely so that they can remake him from the bottom up. The execution involves putting him in an airlock and “spacing” him.

For some reason, this scene had a really huge impact on me. It was…very brutal. Very moving, though I’m not sure if it’s moving in the way that I want it. It wasn’t senseless–it happens for a reason, to set things up for when he meets back up with his brother–but man, it was very brutal and disturbing.

Now…I swear I’m not a morbid person! No, really! My first novel was a happy, adventuresome, optimistic space opera, and I’m sure it won’t be the last one! And really, I don’t have any pent up anger or goth tendencies or anything–it’s just, this is what I thought should happen in the story right now. And…wow. It was a lot more powerful than I’d thought.

This has made me realize that I’m going to need to bring in a humorous character to periodically give relief to all this tension. I’ve got the novel figured out in my head in a rough three act format. If all goes well, I should be finishing with act 1 before the end of next week. At the beginning of act 2, James is going to meet up with a very interesting and quirky band of mercenaries, and that will (inshallah) be a good opportunity to bring in some comic relief. Not too much, of course–just enough to help the reader get through the really serious, really disturbing parts.

And I know where I want this novel to end. I don’t know how, but I know the main character’s root motivations and how that inner conflict needs to be resolved. I actually have it all coming down to a single line of dialogue given from the head mercenary, Danica, to James at the very end of the story. The denouement shouldn’t take up more than a chapter and an epilogue, which of course I haven’t figured out yet, but the key to everything, the thing compelling me at this point to write this story, is to get the main character (James) to get to that one line of dialogue and come to this realization about himself.

Of course, I won’t tell you what that is, since that would be giving away spoilers. 🙂 But if you want to be an alpha reader, let me know. The goal is to have this sucker finished before the end of April. Tough goal, especially now that so many storylines are exploding all over the place, but I think I can do it.

Interview with a character

Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged here. Or anywhere else.

Things are going well. I’ve been writing steadily this past week, and it’s going swimmingly well. I’m really, really excited for the novel I’m working on right now! I’m about 12,500 words into it right now, and my only frustration is that I can’t write it down fast enough.

That’s not to say that I don’t put off writing each day. I always tend to put off the things that take real effort, and it really frustrates me. Something personal I need to work on: self-discipline. Well, don’t we all.

English 318 has been particularly motivating. Every time I listen to one of Brandon Sanderson’s lectures, it’s like my fingers start to itch and all I really want to do is sit down and write! He has a lot of really good advice, insightful ideas and perspectives, and it’s just really great to be taking this class from him. This has got to be my favorite class at BYU, hands down.

Well, today we talked about character, and I had this really cool idea to sit down and do an interview with one of my characters, to try and flesh them out a bit. When I got home, that’s what I did–I put myself on the Catriona, the ship he’s flying on, and had a little chat with him.

Of course, I skipped ahead a little bit–this isn’t where the story actually is at this point, it’s where it is in my head–and, well, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about anyways because you haven’t read what I’ve written so far. Perhaps none of this will make any sense. However, it was a fun exercise, so I thought I’d put it up here. Enjoy!

I’m here on the Catriona right now, sitting next to James McCoy on the command bridge. We are somewhere out in deep space, well beyond the heliosphere of Karduna Prime, on our way to the first station of the Karduna-Gaia Nova starlane. Except for the two of us, there is nobody else around for literally millions of miles. James, welcome.

Thanks, Joe. It’s good to be with you.

I know this isn’t exactly the best time for you, what with your brother and sister getting kidnapped and all.

Well, maybe it isn’t, but here you are.

Yeah (after all, it’s not like things are going to get any better for you <cough>). Well, to start off, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?

Ok. Um, let’s see…I was born on the Colony, a mining station out in the Trojan asteroids just behind Kardunash III. My mom and dad are space traders–local traders, not the interstellar kind. I have a brother and a sister…

What about yourself? What can you tell me about yourself?

Well…I just finished general schooling at the colony, and was just about to start my apprenticeship with the McLellan family when this whole big mess with the Hameji happened.

What did you want to do for your apprenticeship?

I don’t know…my sister went into communications and programming, and my brother did deep space astrogation and business…I guess he wants to go off and start his own trading business, a deep space trader. But me? I haven’t figured that out yet.

I know the Hameji invasion has been pretty hard on you.

Yeah, it has.

What are you going to do about it?

I’m going to sell this ship, hire some mercenaries, and rescue my brother and sister, that’s what I’m going to do.

Sounds dangerous.

I know it does. I know it is. I’m going to do it anyway, though–or die trying.

They say that no captives have ever escaped from the Hameji. What do you think of that?

I’m still going to try. If I gave up now, how could I live with myself? Besides, there are a lot of legends about the Hameji. You can’t trust them all–they’re human beings too, just like the rest of us.

So you’re not worried?

No, I’m worried. To be honest, I’m scared out of my mind. I’m just not going to let that stop me.

So when something’s wrong, you like to take action?

I suppose. To be honest, I never really thought of it that way until the invasion. Then again, I was always the youngest child. Everyone always seemed to take action on my behalf, not the other way around.

How do you feel about being the youngest child?

Well, (don’t tell anyone, will you?), I sometimes feel that I don’t get enough respect. I mean, I’m seventeen years old, I can take care of myself, but everyone still acts as if I’m the little kid brother. My Mom clings to me whenever I’m back home, my Dad always gives the real work to my siblings, Ben always treats me like a little kid…it’s tough. I don’t like being the youngest.

You didn’t mention Estella in that list. How come?

Estella is…well, she’s different. We get along really well. I feel like I can talk with her. Ben is a good brother, and we get along and all, but I sometimes feel as if he looks down on me a little. But Estella, she’s really close. She understands me.

What makes you say that?

She likes to talk a lot. Ben likes to torment the both of us sometimes. I mean, we’re really close to him too (I mean, he’s our brother), but it’s different. Estella used to come to me with her problems while Ben was starting his apprenticeship. She was really scared about graduating and leaving the family. We got really close back then, and I shared a lot with her.

What about before her graduation?

Well, I always felt like I needed to take care of her. She’s my older sister, but back home at the colony, men are definitely the ones who wear the pants. Women can vote, but men do all the dirty work while the women take care of the home. Men are the protectors. I guess that makes me and Ben Estella’s protectors–at least until she finds a husband. If I get her back.

Yeah. . So, how do you feel about your brother Ben?

He’s my older brother. We used to fight a lot, but always good naturedly. He left for his apprenticeship when I was still in my early teens, so I haven’t seen him a whole lot since then. When I have seen him, he always tends to be in charge. He’s gotten a little bossy recently, actually. But I still love him. I’m sure he’s taking care of Estella, whereever he is.

How do you feel about the Hameji?

I hate them. They’re monsters. I wish I could drive them out of this system by myself.

If you could have any wish, what would it be?

To get things back to the way they were before the invasion. I feel like my life just sort of stopped on that day, and I’ve been wandering around somewhere else trying to get back. I hate it. I want my brother and sister back. I want things to return to the way they were.

But if that’s impossible, what will you do?

(long pause). I don’t know. It probably is impossible. But if I can’t get my brother and sister back, I might as well die with them myself.

Yeah. So…life kind of sucks for James right now. Hehe. Sorry, James. My goal with your story is to make the reader cry. Needless to say, things are only going to get more difficult for you.

But one thing I can say is that it will be worth it in the end. At least, I think it will be. I haven’t quite gotten there yet.

Oh, and I can’t have you making the story all boring with your melancholy. You’ll meet up with someone very interesting in a little while. Her name is Danica, and she’s the captain of a band of mercenaries. She’s killed at least half a dozen people with her knife and bare hands, and she’s got a bounty on her head that’ll keep her out of civilized space for many, many years to come.

Oh yes, it will be interesting when you run into her. It’ll be more interesting to see what happens to you both when she becomes your mentor.

Productivity breakdown

I’ve been thinking a lot about the writing I accomplished in the past few semesters. In some ways, I worry that I’ve become a lot more disorganized and a lot less productive than I was a year ago.

Back in winter ’08, I took a couple of really difficult classes, got up early each morning to work in the BYU Bookstore stockroom, wrote a handful of very difficult research papers…and still managed to write about 120,000 words. Oh, and I wrote on this blog almost daily. I finished my first novel, started my second, read a dozen other novels, wrote reviews of them all…
I accomplished quite a lot.

In fall ’08, however, my workload was much lighter, my classes were ridiculously easy, I didn’t have to get up early to work…and yet I only wrote about 70,000 words, didn’t hardly write for this blog, only read a couple of books, etc etc. Much less productive.

Though, I guess you could say that I made up in other areas. I started working for the FHSS Writing Lab, and that took a lot of my time and mental energy. Also, I think the quality of my writing improved quite a bit, and I experimented a lot with things that I hadn’t tried previously. Right now, I feel that Genesis Earth, my second novel, is a much better work than The Phoenix of Nova Terra.

So maybe all of this “oh my goodness where did my productivity go” is just me worrying for no reason. It’s hard not to worry about it, though.

I know for certain that I could be much more productive with my time. I come home tired, with less than an hour before dinner, and I usually squander the time on the internet or with video game emulators. I tend to put off homework, and only do the stuff that will get me in trouble if I don’t do it (though some would say that that’s a life skill…hmmm…). On any given day, the last two hours before I go to bed is filled purely with time wasting activity. I could use an extra two hours of sleep…

Meh. I guess it’s always a struggle. A year from now, I’ll probably be saying “I can’t believe how productive I was back in winter ’09!” That, and “holy cow, what am I going to do after I graduate??”

Axis by Robert Charles Wilson

Wow. Wow. WOW. This book was good!

I could try to explain the plot of the story to you, but that would ruin the first book of the series, Spin, which I sincerely belive is one of the best science fiction novels I’ve ever read. To do that would be a crime against humanity. You have got to read the first book, it is so good!

The main character, Elise, is trying to find out what happened to her father. He disappeared back when she was a little girl, leaving behind his family for no apparent reason. He was a scientist involved in studying the Hypotheticals, a mysterious, unseen alien thing that had dramatically altered the course of history nearly a generation ago, for purposes completely unknown.

Her obsession to find out what happened to her father destroys her first marriage and into a new relationship with Turk, an honest drifter. When a strange, alien ash falls from the sky and secret government agencies chase the two of them for information about a mysterious woman known as Sulean Moi, Turk and Elise find themselves getting wrapped up in a secretive, almost cult-like movement to communicate with the Hypotheticals. The leader is a mad scientist who will let nothing stand in his way–not even respect for basic humanity.

This book was amazing. I read the last fifty pages at 3:00 am, and at the end of every chapter I jumped up and shouted, wide eyed, “what?!” “holy cow!” and “oh my gosh!” The characters were real and genuine, the human drama was believable and engaging, the alien-ness of the universe was both thrilling, humbling, and awe-inspiring, and the tension was deliciously thick, right up to the very last words on the last page. This is a book worth reading (though you really should read Spin first–everything else will make a lot more sense if you do). Robert Charles Wilson is one of my favorite authors.

This book reminded me quite a bit of Arthur C. Clarke–not in terms of character and human drama (Robert Charles Wilson is light years better than Clarke in those areas), but in terms of thematic elements. Clarke’s fiction was always examing transcendence and the ultimate destiny of mankind. His aliens were more gods than men, and he viewed godhood as the destiny of man. Robert Charles Wilson deals with a lot of the same themes and questions. What is the ultimate end of evolution? What does transcendence look and feel like? Is the universe ruled by a mindless process, or a process that has a mind and a purpose?

Robert Charles Wilson’s prose is amazing. He gives just enough detail to make you feel that you’re there in his world, and just enough abstraction to let you work out the rest of the details until you feel that you’ve known his characters for a long, long time. He builds up the tension until you can’t put the book down, and when he releases it you find yourself stepping through a door into another world, full of meaning and significance, full of new wonders and new stories of its own. It’s amazing.

You really owe it to yourself to pick up something by this author. I would strongly suggest starting with Spin, but once you’ve read that book, you’ve got to read this book. It is amazing.

It’s done!

205 pages, 57,499 words, thirteen chapters and an epilogue–Genesis Earth is FINISHED!!!

It really did get more and more difficult the closer I got to the end. The last part of the last chapter, in particular, was very difficult. I can’t exactly tell you why, without giving away the story, but…let’s just say, it was hard. I’d write a paragraph, lie down on my bed for a while, write a few lines, chat with some friends, write a little bit more…torturous. Ugh.

Man, it feels so good to have the rough draft finished now! I sent it out to thirteen people, seven men and six women, so I think I’ll have a good sense of how it appeals (or doesn’t apeal) to each gender. That’s something I’m really interested to find out about; how the different genders react to the story. It’s sci fi, so the audience is predominantly male, but I tried to put in some stuff that tend to appeal more towards women as well, and I want to know if I pulled it off or not. I hope I did.

This novel is completely unlike my first one, The Phoenix of Nova Terra. It is much, much shorter–three times as short, roughly. It is much less epic–90% of the story is just two characters alone, talking with each other and struggling to figure out what’s going on. The conflict is much more local, much more internal, and has nothing to do with the rise and fall of civilizations…well, maybe I spoke too soon.

I’ll stop talking about the novel, because I don’t want to give too much away. 😛 Needless to say, it just feels really good to have my second novel finished! GENESIS EARTH 1.0 — that’s what the file says on my flash drive now. So good. It’s done–the rough draft is finally finished!

Now I can focus all my energies on that other novel, Bringing Estella Home. If I can finish that one by April–holy cow, that would be so awesome!

Gah! Almost there!

Ok, so I didn’t finish my novel yesterday like I said I would. Instead, I went with a couple of friends from the old capitol house and went up to Salt Lake. Of course, Aneeka and I were in the midst of a race to see who would finish their novel first, so I invited her to come along with us. It just wouldn’t have done well to let her have a lead up on me. 😛

Of course, the next morning I was all busy with the quark writing group and all that, so I didn’t have a lot of time to write in the morning. Then, just as I sat down after lunch and was in the middle of finishing up this last chapter, I get a text from Aneeka saying “I’m done!”

GAH!

This novel is so crazy! But I WILL finish it tonight! I WILL! I’ve worked all afternoon on it and I’m 2323 words from where I was last night–no thanks to a random computer shutoff that made me lose the first 1000 words or so. #$%@!

If this novel has been like the 2nd choice girl you always come back to because she never says no, she’s got to be one of the most passive aggressive girls out there. Reaching the ending is like trying to climb an asymptote–it just keeps getting steeper and steeper, harder and harder, and you wonder if you’ll ever finish it. I swear, I am no further than 2 pages–less than a thousand words, even!–and I can’t finish the thing.

Maybe I’m just burned out for the moment. Maybe if I lie down and rest for a bit, I’ll have the energy to pick it up in a minute and pound out those last few words. I just need to replenish the well.

So close…

I am so close right now to finishing my second full novel, Genesis Earth. Just two more scenes. One final scene to wrap up the chapter, and the epilogue to finish the book.

Am I excited? Am I pumped up? I guess. Right now, the thing that’s on my mind the most is getting this story out to my first readers. I’m eager to hear their reactions to the story, and the fact that I have about a dozen people waiting for me to email them the completed draft gives me a lot of motivation to finish the thing.

To be honest, though, this novel has always been like…I don’t know, the second choice girl you always go back to because she doesn’t say no (speaking theoretically, of course, and not from experience (A) ). Up until the last month, it’s always been the project I worked on when I didn’t have anything else to do–and now that 318 has started again, I’m trying to get rid of it as fast as I can so I can focus on that one.

Still, for the weird fluke that it’s been, I’m pretty satisfied with it. I know it’s a rough draft–it still feels like one–and it’s going to need a lot of polishing, but I’m happy to almost have it finished (how weird is that? like being engaged to be engaged?) I guess, I just mean that the thought of having another novel under my belt is something I’m looking forward to.

I guess I’m not in a position to sit back in the overstuffed easy chair in my library and expound on the process of writing this novel, especially since the rough draft isn’t even finished. But it will be finished within the next 24 hours, even if I have to kill myself (or at least sacrifice my homework) to get it done! And when that’s done, I can do all the expounding I want! Yay for motivation.

Oh, and there’s other stuff I should write about, but it’s 2:30 AM and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m feeling rather loopy. Gnight.

Voyager in Night by C. J. Cherryh

Rafe, Jullian, and Paul are young friends trying to make their way in the universe with nothing but a junk ship on the frontiers of settled space. Rafe and Jullian are brother-sister, and Paul is Jullian’s husband. Despite all the risks, they have high hopes for their life together on the Lindy as they go out for months at a time on asteroid mining expeditions.

All of that changes, however, when an unidentified object leaves jumpspace and heads on a collision course with their ship. Before they know what’s happening, the object captures them and heads for deep space.

The human voyagers find themselves in a bizarre world where the boundaries between physical reality and virtual reality are blurred, and the very essence of humanity can be recorded, copied, duplicated, and even synthesized with other human and alien templates. As they fall deeper and deeper into an intership conflict that has come to a crest after a hundred thousand years, they find that their unique personalities and relationships with each other hold the key to their salvation…and their hidden secrets, their destruction.

This book was BIZARRE. Strangest sci fi novel I’ve read, and those of you who know me will know what that means! I’m left with the impression that it was a deep book, but I can’t exactly tell you how or why. Perhaps it’s because of the alien-ness of the alien, and the profound way that it impacted the characters and cut to the very core of who each of them were. Perhaps it’s because of the questions it raised about the nature of reality and how we define ourselves as human beings. This book touched on some deep issues in ways that I found quite disturbing.

The greatest strength of this book would have to be the way it penetrated these issues. Its greatest weakness grew out of that–the book was just incredibly confusing. I felt really disoriented when I was reading it. I never knew who or what the aliens were, what their motivation was, where the humans really were, what was really happening to them, or, at the climax, how…well, how things played out at the climax. Very confusing, even if it was fascinating.

At the same time, the confusion of their situation also helped the story to be very believable. I really hate reading about your stereotypical aliens–the guys who walk, talk, and act like humans, but have a different mask or hairstyle or something. These aliens felt like the real thing. They were bizarre, scary, had unbelievable technology, and, well, were just very alien. There was hardly anything about them that had any kind of reference to the way we, as human beings, see the world.

I almost wonder if this book has some cyberpunk undertones. I dunno…obviously, with the far future setting, it doesn’t fit into the cyberpunk genre. However, the idea of replicating human beings through a super computer raises some very interesting existential questions. Also, the fact that the aliens seem to inhabit a virtual world of the ship computer raises some interesting questions about how a cyber-existence warps our own ideas of consciousness.

It was a very well written piece, in a very interesting universe, with some moderately interesting characters and a bizarre, disturbing situation. At the same time, it’s definitely not for everyone. If you’re not the kind of person who reads much sci fi, you’re probably not going to appreciate this book. If, however, you enjoy the bizarre and disturbing, this is a book you will probably enjoy.