Joe Vasicek

Falling back into the groove

Today I surprised myself and wrote nearly 4k words, some of which might actually be good enough to keep. Huzzah!

The novel is coming along very nicely, and I’m starting to get really excited with where it’s going. That’s huge, because up to this point, the nagging “this is crap, what are you doing with your life?” voices have been getting me down. Yeah, the draft I’m writing will need a lot of work, but the story’s got potential, and I can see it. That’s the most important part.

The interesting thing was that after pounding out the first thousand words, the writing started to really flow. The right words and phrases started coming quite naturally, almost on their own, instead of waiting for me to mercilessly hunt them down.

An example:

The weather was perfect–sunny, clear, and neither too hot nor too cold. Upset by the sound of their engines, flocks of pretty white birds took to the air, filling the sky around the green banks like noisy, low-flying clouds. Down in the cabin, Kariym began to sing a lilting ballad about a young boy in love with his brother’s betrothed. His deep bass voice bellowed over the roar of the engine, lifting Jalil’s spirits. It was a very good day to be alive.

They rode upstream over the river for the next hour. Almost immediately they left the main body of the convoy far behind, taking the reconnaissance position for the advance guard. Occasionally, they passed a town or a bridge–magnificent works of steel and stone that soared over their heads, spanning the entire vast width of the river. Mostly, however, the banks were empty and unsettled–nothing but long, straight stretches of thick green bush, with the occasionally rocky outcropping to break the monotony.

Of course, the writing’s not perfect–I’ll be the first to say that it needs considerable work–but at least it’s decent. Decent for a rough draft.

One of the most annoying things about writing is when I unconsciously break into alliteration. I’ll write a sentence, only to realize that I can’t let it stand as it is because every noun, verb, and adjective starts with the same sound. Like that last phrase: “starts with the same sound.” Augh!

I’m finding, though, that when used in moderation, that tendency towards alliteration can be somewhat helpful. There’s nothing quite as pleasurable as reading a good story with delicious, flowing prose, like Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Dispossessed or Robert Charles Wilson’s Spin. Excellent books. I’d be more than happy if I could write as beautifully as them someday.

In the meantime, though, I’m just plugging away, trying to make the next chapter, scene, paragraph, and sentence better than the last. Fortunately, now that I’m excited about the story again, things are going very nicely.

Oh, and happy fourth on the fifth. I spent most of the day with family (not writing), bouncing around Provo and doing various stuff. I’ve got a ton of chores to do tomorrow, though, so I’d better get to bed. Night!

Second Quarter 2010 report

As you may or may not know, I keep a spreadsheet of my daily word counts. Nerdy, I know, but you’d be surprised how helpful it can be with keeping goals and staying motivated. As part of that, I’ve decided to do a quarterly report here on my blog. Here’s my report for April 2010 through June 2010:

The red line shows my daily word count, and the blue line shows a running 7-day total.

At the beginning of April, I was somewhere in the middle of writing Mercenary Savior 3.0. I was also in the middle of a long and strenuous debacle with BYU’s Washington Seminar. Long story short, I got kicked out under disputed circumstances.

Anyway, that explains the sharp dip in the first couple of weeks. I returned to my parents’ house in Massachusetts on April 6th and spent a week there before moving out to Utah; that explains the short lived bump from April 6 to April 12.

So three weeks before graduation, I came back to Utah with no job, no apartment, no transportation besides my own feet–nothing. Fortunately, some friends helped me out, and for the rest of April and most of May I at least had transportation (bike) and a roof over my head.

Without a job, I had lots of writing time, and I used it well, as you can see. The sharp dip at the end of April corresponds with graduation, when all the family was over and I was spending most of my time with them.

Things dropped off the second half of May, though, and I’m not sure why. Perhaps it was writing fatigue? I was coming up on the end of Mercenary Savior, and as I remember, the revision was fairly tough. Also, I was stressed out about not having a job, and spent much of my free time looking for work. I found my current part-time job at the end of May, and had a few spikes, but my output never totally recovered.

As an experiment, I took a week off from writing after finishing Mercenary Savior on the first of June. I thought that this would help me recharge my creative batteries and get off with Worlds Away from Home on a good start. Instead, I found that taking the time off made it harder to get back into creative writing mode, and so I struggled for the first week or two to really get that project off the ground.

Lately, I’ve been trying to bump up my output above 10k per week, without much success. For some reason, I seem to have fallen in a rut where I can’t write more than 2k per day. 2k is good, but it’s not the level where I want to be. I want to finish Worlds Away from Home in the first couple weeks of August, so that I’ll have plenty of time to polish Mercenary Savior for World Fantasy in November.

I think that part of the problem lies in the nature of the work. Mercenary Savior was all straight up revision, with very little new content. Worlds Away from Home, however, involves a ton of new content. Yes, I’ve got all that stuff I wrote back in the fall of 2008, but I’ve also added a new viewpoint character and significantly changed the basic storyline. Only about half of the old stuff is recyclable, and I’ll run out of it in 100 pages, roughly at the midway point of the novel.

After revising for so long, it’s hard to get used to writing a first draft. I’m not sure how to describe it, except that it takes a lot more mental energy–a LOT more. Plus, there’s always the nagging voices that tell you what you’re writing is crap–and when you’re writing your rough draft, the voices are usually right! Tuning them out is starting to be a challenge.

Overall, though, I’m very optimistic. My main goal is to produce one solid, polished novel a year, and I’m still on schedule to accomplish that. Mercenary Savior requires AT LEAST another revision before it’ll be good enough to send out to editors and agents, but I’ve got half a year to do that. As for 2011, I’ll almost certainly have the first or second draft of Worlds Away from Home before January 1st. Things are going well.

And on that note, I think I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. Night.

Writer’s block? Tallyho!

Just a quick post before I go to bed.

Health problems suck when all you’ve got is catastrophic insurance. I started breaking out in this weird rash last week, and I went into the clinic today. It was seventy five dollars well spent, but…man, seventy five dollars?

So between taking the bus all over the Provo/Orem area to get to and from the clinic, picking up the antibiotics from Macy’s, and cooking treats for institute, I didn’t get much writing done. At the same time, though, I feel like I should have gotten a lot more writing done–that really, I was just putting it off with all the other chores.

“Writer’s block” is this generic phrase used to describe a number of writing related maladies–kind of like “consumption” back in the 1800s, I guess. Right now, I’m suffering from a particularly unusual strain: I’ve got some decent plot and character ideas, I know what I want to write, but I just can’t seem to bring myself down to write it. Not consistently, anyways. This past week, I’ve only been hitting 1.4k words per day, when I need to be doing 2.5k in order to make my 15 August deadline.

The irregularity of my schedule certainly isn’t helping, but I think it goes deeper than that. I’m currently treading new territory, going places where the first draft never went, and I can’t help but feel that the stuff I’ve written prior to this point is just crap. That’s what’s so debilitating–the recognition of all the mistakes I’ve made thus far. Some of them are relatively major–level twos, at the very least.

Well, just like the best proscription for the flu is to get rest and drink lots of water (and pop lots of antibiotics when that doesn’t work), the best proscription for writer’s block is to sit down and write! So that’s what I plan to do. Tallyho!

…except, not right now. It’s 1:00 am and I’m fighting some kind of bacterial infection. Gotta sleep, but then…tallyho!

(oh, and in totally unrelated news, an agent requested to see the full manuscript for Genesis Earth! Must not get hopes up…must not get hopes up…too late. Tallyho!)

Take me to Arabia

Recently, I’ve found myself nearly overwhelmed by the sudden urge to run away to the Middle East and go totally and irrevocably native. It may pass, but I still want to go back there–really bad.

So I looked up BYU’s TESOL certification program, and figured I could apply in January, start fall of ’11, and be on my way to an Arabian adventure in ’12.

Or…I could bypass the whole certification thing altogether, but I’d probably get a crappier job. Besides, the certification could lead to other things, like perhaps an actual stable day job. Who knows?

Regardless, I should probably find some way to actually use my Arabic degree. After all, why did I get it in the first place? Better put it to use!

So why am I tripping out on Middle East stuff? Interestingly enough, I think it has a lot to do with the current novel I’m writing, Worlds Away from Home. I started it in fall ’08, just after getting back from BYU’s 2008 Jordan study abroad program, and the influence is definitely very visible.

Sometimes it makes me cringe a little, though; the fictional culture is patterned after my understanding of and experiences with Arab culture, but…it’s very pseudo Arab, if that make sense. Kind of like it looks Arab, but it feels more Western. I don’t know–I guess what I’m saying is that it’s bad (or maybe I just think that because I’m in the middle of the rough draft, when everything I write is utter and absolute crap. Blegh).

But the thing is, if I try to make the culture truly foreign, I’m worried it will be more of a barrier to the reader than a gateway. In other words, it’s the classic science fiction problem of aliens: the more you succeed in making your aliens truly alien, the harder it is for the reader to understand or sympathize with them.

But then again, isn’t that why we read? To be transported to different times and places, experience other people and cultures, and be exposed to new ideas? To expand our minds and enrich our understanding? If that’s the case, there’s got to be something good and healthy about immersing the reader in a totally foreign culture.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any easier.

Oh well. I’m up for the challenge. In the meantime, I’ll keep reading T. E. Lawrence’s The Seven Pillars of Wisdom and continuously loop all my Arab pop. Not familiar with Arabic music? Here’s a really good one:

Track 5

(ps: I’d tell you who wrote/performs the song, but frankly I have no idea. Unfortunately, copyright doesn’t really exist in the Middle East. Oh well. Enjoy!)

The need to change

I picked up this sign at institute last Wednesday. The lesson was on our desires; specifically, how the thing that we truly desire deep down is often the thing that we get.

The main reason I posted this sign on the door was to motivate me to get a better job than my current one. However, it applies to so many other things as well.

Take writing, for example: if I’m going to actually turn this writing thing into a full time career, I’ve got to bust my butt to make it happen. Writing a paltry 250 words each day on a novel you’ve been working on for the past twenty years just isn’t going to cut it.

I got two form rejections today, and that made me realize that I need to be more serious about submitting my work. So instead of working of working on Worlds Away From Home, I researched a slew of agents, rewrote my query letter for Genesis Earth, and sent out four carefully prepared and researched submissions. I don’t want to spend any more time bouncing around from job to job than I have to–I want to break in and make this writing career take off.

So far, I’ve gotten approximately 14 rejections for Genesis Earth: ten form rejections, one personalized rejection, one rejection after the partial was requested, and two that I haven’t heard back on but have been out for so long they’ve probably been rejected. Interestingly enough, rejection itself is not that hard for me to deal with: it’s building the motivation and nerve to submit to the next place that’s tough.

But I’ve got to do it. I feel kind of like Hachimaki from the anime series Planetes, who quits his job without taking the severance package when he applies for the Jupiter mission. If he has the safety net, he knows that he’ll get lazy, so breaks goes out on his own, even sleeping on the streets for a while during the initial tryouts.

I haven’t quite fallen that low yet–I’ve got an apartment, a bike, and a job, even if it’s only a subsistence level one. But when it comes to long term careers, I’m putting everything into my writing right now–there isn’t anything else.

It’s still discouraging to get rejected, but I’m still very optimistic that things will work out. Even if everyone rejects Genesis Earth, I’ll have Mercenary Savior ready to submit before the end of the year. It’s just a matter of time–I just hope it happens soon.

In the meantime, here’s the opening sequence from Planetes. Such an awesome series–I’d take a job with Debris Section in an instant! Even garbage collecting is cool when it’s IN SPAAACE!!

Cover Letter Fail

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I volunteer as a slushpile reader for The Leading Edge. We see some pretty bad stuff, such as stories written entirely in one-line paragraphs, or self-proclaimed “short stories” over 80 pages and 30 chapters long, or hilariously awkward phrases like “the copious softness of her breasts.”

This, however, takes the cake.

It’s a cover letter from an author who submitted a story to us a few months ago that we rejected. Can you tell? In one and a half pages, I think he does just about everything that you’re not supposed to do. In fact, it was so bad that Chris, the head editor, wrote a special comment sheet critiquing just the cover letter.

Anyways, here’s it is (with names changed and/or completely removed):

Thanks for your very interesting critiques of “Shamelessly Amateur Story.”

It was perhaps too mysterious and weird. Since much of it went past your knowledgeable readers, I have to think it was too subtile. Or just not clear, something like that.

I, myself, may be a bit mysterious and weird.

This is a much clearer sort of story. It’s about an engineer on a starship, and it draws very strongly on my own experience. No, not on a starship. Smile.

I also do some scifi humor, which the best stories I could use as examples are under submission to others. Since statistics say they will puke on them, if you like scifi humor, you might tell me. (In the computer programmer’s world, to puke on something is only to say that you do not understand it. It does not mean someone is throwing up. I say, “I do not know what you want with ‘w/carrot/show’ ” and that does not mean anything is wrong with what you said, just that my program could not process it.

I do not think I can write a simple story. My work is full of twists and turns and implications. What I need to learn, I believe, is not how to write more simply, but how to write so that the simplest level of interpretation is accessible. I have a story in Rosebud this winter, and I don’t know how the editor looked at it, but I imagine he (Rodrick Clark) is smarter than the next Bear.

Why do I have to make it so complicated? I could write a blood and thunder story, and anyone could see it was pretty good. Well, that would make it easy if it was just about writing what you know. I have seen blood. But I do not want to write about negatives. I want to write stories about how good people are not about how bad they could be. Let me see if I can get to you with ‘Yet Another Shamelessly Amateur Story’ and maybe you can tell me something about positive writing froom this. Oh, and sure, I need to see a sample copy, so here is the $6 for that.

If your guidelines say anything unique, I would like to have them, and will refer to them. I do not think of anyone’s guidelines as really mandatory, but as ‘have an effin’ good reason’ to not follow. You might tell me not to touch you, but if a train is about to run you over. I will grab you and thrrow you off the tracks like a sack of sand. If I have a storyteller’s reason to blow off your guidelines, I will do that, too, but I will have to understand that I need to listen closely to the rules. It’s a little bit like grammar. But bad grammar is more easily forgiven.

Well, anyway. I would like you to look at this story, ‘Yet Another Shamelessly Amateur Story’ and I would like a review, or better, I would like you to buy it. 😉

In any event, I want a sample copy, and here is the $6 for it.

Needless to say, “Yet Another Shamelessly Amateur Story” was rejected. Grammar this bad is NOT more easily forgiven, and though “Yet Another” may have been too subtile for us, we resent it when people treat us like bags of sand.

Quick update

Just a quick update on things, since it’s been forever since I’ve blogged.

The Utah Valley Democrats offered me a position, but it wasn’t the internship they’d advertised, so I turned it down. They wanted me to do all their phone surveys, for 20 hours per week at $8.50 an hour, working evenings and Saturdays from now until November. Basically, they wanted me to do the same crappy job that I’m already doing, but for less pay, more hours, and with significantly less flexibility. Needless to say, I wasn’t too thrilled.

I sent out Mercenary Savior 3.0 to my beta readers. If you weren’t included in that list, don’t be offended–I’m trying to get feedback from some new people who haven’t read the previous drafts, to see what they think. I’m hoping to start the next revision of that novel sometime in August; my goal is to have it polished in time for World Fantasy 2010, which I will be attending.

Worlds Away from Home is coming along, but much too slowly. I want to finish it by August 15th, which means that I should be writing between 2.5k and 3k words per day. Right now, I’m averaging about 1.5k–not bad, but not enough either. I need to take some time and immerse myself in this project.

At the same time, I really need to find a decent day job. The one I’ve got right now is good for summer stuff, but I don’t want to be doing it long term. Ideas for a more semi-permanent job include:

Working in a bookstore
Teaching Arabic
Getting a wilderness job (see previous post)
Getting an editing internship
Freelance translating (I’m a little uneasy about this)
Finding a job in the Middle East and living/traveling there for a year

I’m a little wary of the last one, given the current political situation, but if things improve, I could see myself moving out there in the fall. It depends on what I can find, of course–and for that reason, I’m considering signing up for the TESOL certificate program here at BYU.

I don’t know, though. There’s a lot to do, a lot to figure out. It’s hard to balance it all, but I’m doing what I can. Whatever happens, though, I’m sure it will all work out.

Most and least productive days

Man, I don’t know how it happened, but I did not get a word in in my novel today. No, wait, I know how it happened: my schedule looked like a piece of moldy Swiss cheese.

First, there was work, then plasma, then a few hours of free time followed by an interview for an internship with the Utah County Democrats (which went extremely well–more later), then Leading Edge, and then Dr. Strangelove.

So yeah. No writing, unfortunately. Gotta work on the self discipline.

But as far as figuring out what the heck I’m going to do with the next 6 months to 1 year of my life, today was remarkably productive. I recently applied for a paid internship with the Utah County Democrats and the interview was today. I think it went really well, too–the board members seemed quite impressed. I was dressed up, showed up early, and answered every question by pointing to something specific from my work or volunteer experience. Finally, a job that I’m actually qualified for!

Honestly, when I went, in, I wasn’t too sure if this was something I was interested in doing. I didn’t have a very positive experience in DC with the internship, and the back and forth of partisan politics really grates on me. However, there seems to be a big difference between national politics and local politics–local stuff seems much more down to earth, with less of the rhetoric and bickering. A lot more hands-on, grassroots kind of stuff, without the constant abstractions or the hyperfocus on career priorities that turned me off so much to Washington.

Politically, I’m currently an independent, leaning more to the right. Surprisingly, that seems to put me in good company with the Utah County Democrats. One of the guys on the board described them as center / right of center–basically, a moderating influence in the face of right wing nutcases like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh that are so deplorably common out here.

The internship pays a $2,000 stipend for 4 months of work: 10 hours per week at first, moving up to 20 hours per week closer to November. For this part of the country, that’s decent money. Plus, if the candidate I work for gets elected, it may open job opportunities in Salt Lake City.

The catch? That I’ll no longer be able to be a political independent–that I’ll be picking sides, in such a way that the other side may never consider me credible again. At least, that’s how it works in DC: there’s Team Republican and Team Democrat, and if you work for any organization even loosely affiliated with one of the teams, no-one on the other side will ever have anything to do with you.

But…then again, that may not be so bad. I don’t agree with everything the national Democratic Party stands for, but neither do the Utah Valley Democrats. In fact, the Democrats here mirror my political views almost perfectly. Plus, I suppose it’s easier to change things once you’re on the inside.

I don’t know. I’ll definitely have to think about it.

So yeah, as unproductive as things were writing-wise, they were actually quite productive in other ways that mattered. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in the next couple weeks; I sense more than a few major decisions coming up (gah!).

The wilderness is calling me…

…and I’m kind of hesitant to answer.

Four years ago, my sister went through Wilderness Quest, a wilderness therapy organization based in Monticello, Utah. At the end of the program, I went down with my whole family for family therapy. The experience was incredible–intense, emotional, and very life changing for all of us.

Fast forward to last month. After graduating college, I had this crazy idea: maybe I could apply for a job with some wilderness therapy organization. My sister, who worked for WQ after completing their program, told me that they’re always looking for qualified, motivated people for the wilderness staff. As a clean, addiction-free, college grad, chances are fairly good that I could get a job here.

I talked with my sister for a LONG time about it. Yes, it’s tough–the teens in the program are very, very troubled, and there’s all kinds of drama. Some of the kids are forcibly escorted to Monticello by professional kidnappers that their parents have hired to bring them out.

Living in the wilderness is rough, too. The way WQ does it, you’re in the wilderness for 21 days, on the job 24/7, with two weeks off between work periods. That’s 21 days completely cut off from the rest of civilization, out in the middle of nowhere.

At the same time, though, that’s 21 days in which WQ pays for all your food and supplies–21 days in which you’re earning money instead of spending it. And then, after the 21 days are up, you’ve got two weeks of free time to do whatever you want. Pay ranges from $60 to $135 per day, multiplied by 21 days–not a bad job. And two weeks of complete freedom…

Perhaps the best advantage to this kind of job, though, is the incredible range of life experience it would give. Unlike sitting in an office all day, or doing telephone surveys at a call center (my current job), this kind of work offers some real meaningful experience. Changing people’s lives, seeing them at their best and worst, connecting with them in a truly genuine way–it could have a huge influence on my writing.

Then again, 21 days cut off from civilization…that’s 21 days in which I’m not going to be writing. 21 days in which I’m not going to have a social life (at least, not in Provo). 21 days in which I may miss other important career/writing opportunities. And two weeks–that’s not really a lot of time, not when you’ve got all your chores to do.

But then again–do the costs really outweigh the benefits? Maybe I could bring a notebook and write while out there. Maybe I’ll make up for the missed writing time in the two of weeks, while still having enough time to do my other chores. Maybe it will force me to make time. Maybe the improved quality will make up for it–and maybe my new friends in this apartment complex won’t totally forget me when I come back.

I don’t know. I’m trying to figure out if this is something I should do. Part of me wants to jump up and start right away–but the other half is holding back. But at this point, I’m thinking that once my Dad drives out to Utah to give me the old family Buick, I’m going to apply. I really should. Should I?

An interesting concept

Last night, I was hanging out with a friend of mine and a couple of girls in the apartment complex where I currently live. We got to talking about books, and one of the girls said something really interesting:

Every book needs to have one thing that the main character knows that the reader doesn’t know, and one thing that the reader knows that the main character doesn’t know; otherwise, it’s too boring.

That’s a fascinating concept. I know that both things are important, but I’ve never connected them together.

When the reader knows something that the main character doesn’t, it can make for great suspense. A good example of this is this scene from Xenogears, when the characters are trying to hunt down a monster in the sewers (skip to 6:37):

It’s harder to pull off having the characters withhold information from the readers, but it can be done. I think a good example of this is the scene from Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back when the Millenium Falcon arrives at Bespin and C3PO gets shot:

Granted, nothing really vital is withheld here, since by this point Master Yoda has seen Luke’s friends in danger, and Bobba Fett has clearly followed them to Bespin–but the audience still doesn’t know exactly what’s going on, and so it creates suspense.

In terms of Orson Scott Card’s MICE quotient, this would definitely fall under the “information” component of stories. In Brandon Sanderson’s class (and in my own reading), I’ve focused a lot on character, setting (milieu), and plot (event), but I haven’t thought a lot about information.

I wonder how my own novels measure up to this principle. Let’s see…

In Genesis Earth, there are a lot of things that Michael and the reader doesn’t know, but not much that one knows and the other doesn’t. There are, however, quite a few things that Terra knows that the reader doesn’t. Those all come out in the middle, though. In terms of information withheld from the reader, I suppose you could count Terra’s feelings for Michael, in the buildup before the climax, but that’s about it.

In Mercenary Savior, the reader knows a TON of stuff that James doesn’t know–it’s a major source of the suspense in that novel. In terms of things the characters know that the reader doesn’t, there’s much less, but I can think of a few things Danica knows that are kept mysterious until a key climax. Those aren’t foreshadowed until maybe 50 or 100 pages before the reveal, but I suppose it still counts.

Thinking WAY back to my first practice novel, Ashes of the Starry Sea (which I will probably never publish), there is, again, a TON of stuff the reader knows that the characters don’t. Basically, every character is clueless in some crucial way, and the resulting comedy of errors drives the plot. In terms of information withheld from the reader, though, there’s not as much. There is a point where Ian runs off without an explanation, but I’m not sure if that’s just my own poor writing. I could probably pull it off in a revision, but I don’t know when or if that will ever happen.

So yeah, I suppose I’ve done that in my own writing. I suppose it’s much easier to do this in third person, however–Genesis Earth is entirely in first person, and there isn’t anything Michael thinks about that the reader doesn’t see. He is an unreliable narrator at times, but he’s not the character withholding the information–and if he was, I don’t think it would have worked very well.

In any case, it’s a very interesting principle. I’ll have to keep it in mind.