{"id":9989,"date":"2015-08-25T10:30:14","date_gmt":"2015-08-25T16:30:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/?p=9989"},"modified":"2015-12-31T15:58:29","modified_gmt":"2015-12-31T22:58:29","slug":"sad-puppies-3-a-play-in-three-parts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/sad-puppies-3-a-play-in-three-parts\/","title":{"rendered":"Sad Puppies 3: A Play in Three Parts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"PART THE FIRST<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sad Puppies:\u00a0<\/strong>Wouldn’t it be great if the Hugo Awards weren’t about identity politics anymore? If conservatives and libertarians weren’t shut out by the blatantly liberal bias? If\u00a0we didn’t care about a writer’s skin color, or their gender, or their sexual orientation, but about the quality of their stories?<\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors:\u00a0<\/strong>EVIL RACIST CISGENDER SCUM!\u00a0You only say that because you’re WHITE, MALE, and PRIVILEGED!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies:\u00a0<\/b>Actually\u2014<\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers:<\/strong> Haha! We beat you\u00a0wrongfans last year, and we’ll beat you again this year! Sad puppies suck!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies<\/b>:<\/strong> Oh yeah?<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies sweep the 2015 Hugo nominations.<\/em><\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers<\/strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0What the hell, puppies? You\u00a0violated the gentleman’s agreement that has governed the Hugos since time immemorial!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies<\/b>:<\/strong> Of course we did! Your “gentleman’s agreement” was elitist and wrong.<\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers:<\/b> Oh yeah? THIS MEANS WAR!<\/p>\n

PART THE SECOND<\/b><\/p>\n

Flashback to\u00a0before the nominations. Enter Vox Day.<\/em><\/p>\n

Vox Day:<\/b>\u00a0Fear and tremble, denizens of fandom! I will\u00a0wreak vengeance on my enemies and destroy the Hugo Awards for all time! BWAHAHAHAHA!<\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors<\/strong>:<\/b>\u00a0Vox Day is EVIL! THIS MEANS WAR!!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies<\/b>:<\/strong> No, don’t destroy the Hugos, Vox! There’s still a chance they\u00a0can be saved.<\/p>\n

Vox:<\/strong> Hmm, very well. But I shall not march in lock-step with you.<\/p>\n

Vox Day organizes the Rabid Puppies slate. Return to present.<\/em><\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers<\/strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0Look, the Sad\u00a0Puppies slate is\u00a0almost identical to the Rabid\u00a0Puppies slate! The Sad Puppies are really just followers of Vox Day!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies<\/b>:\u00a0<\/strong>That’s not true. We were actually the ones to convince him to\u2014<\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors<\/strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0RACISTS! NAZIS! MISOGYNISTS! RACISTS! NAZIS! MISOGYNISTS!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies:<\/strong> Actually, if you look at our slate, you’ll see that\u2014<\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers<\/strong>:<\/strong> RACISTS! NAZIS! MISOGYNISTS! RACISTS! NAZIS! MISOGYNISTS!<\/p>\n

Rabid Puppies:<\/strong> It’s no use to try to reason with these people. Sinistra\u00a0delenda est!<\/p>\n

PART THE THIRD<\/strong><\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers:<\/strong> Slate voting is EVIL! We must defeat the puppies\u00a0at all costs to prove that vote rigging has no place in the Hugo Awards!<\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors:<\/strong> Here is a voting guide for how to make the puppies lose.<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies:<\/strong> You hypocrites! How is that not rigging the vote?<\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers:<\/strong> Haha, we don’t care! We’ll vote the way the SJWs tell us to,\u00a0and brag about how we haven’t read any of the books on your crummy slate.<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies:<\/b> But\u2014but there are a lot of good\u00a0people here\u00a0that are overdue for recognition! Toni Weiskopff, Kevin J. Anderson, Jim Butcher\u2026 and there are a lot of great new\u00a0authors too, like Kary English. Our slate isn’t remotely\u00a0racist or sexist. We’ve got people from all across the political spectrum too, because all we\u00a0really<\/em> care about is telling good stories!<\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors:<\/strong>\u00a0We don’t care! If\u00a0we can’t have the Hugos, NO ONE CAN!<\/p>\n

The 2015 Hugo Awards. “No award” sweeps five categories.<\/em><\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors:\u00a0<\/strong>VICTORY!<\/p>\n

Puppy Kickers:<\/strong> Um, yeah!\u00a0What they\u00a0said! Uh\u2026 guys?<\/p>\n

Vox Day:<\/strong>\u00a0BWAHAHAHA! You fell for my Xanatos Gambit<\/a>, you pitiful mindless fools! I HAVE DESTROYED THE HUGO AWARDS!<\/p>\n

Rabid Puppies:<\/strong> All hail Vox Day, slayer of worlds! Sinistra\u00a0delenda est!<\/p>\n

Sad Puppies:<\/strong>\u00a0Wow. Just\u2026 wow.<\/p>\n

Rabid Puppies:<\/strong>\u00a0Join us, Sad Puppies. Yield yourselves up unto us, and unite with us and become acquainted with our secret works. Sinistra\u00a0delenda est!<\/p>\n

Social Justice Warriors:<\/strong> Next year, we should give Anita Sarkeesian a Hugo!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PART THE FIRST Sad Puppies:\u00a0Wouldn’t it be great if the Hugo Awards weren’t about identity politics anymore? If conservatives and libertarians weren’t shut out by the blatantly liberal bias? If\u00a0we didn’t care about a writer’s skin color, or their gender, or their sexual orientation, but about the quality of their stories? Social Justice Warriors:\u00a0EVIL RACIST… Continue reading Sad Puppies 3: A Play in Three Parts<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Sad Puppies 3: A Play in Three Parts #HugoAwards #SadPuppies #Sasquan","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[567,992],"class_list":["post-9989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-hugo-awards","tag-sad-puppies","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iXK-2B7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9989"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10364,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9989\/revisions\/10364"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}