{"id":10031,"date":"2015-10-03T13:38:10","date_gmt":"2015-10-03T19:38:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/?p=10031"},"modified":"2015-10-03T13:44:18","modified_gmt":"2015-10-03T19:44:18","slug":"a-glorious-fisking-and-what-it-means-to-be-a-real-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/a-glorious-fisking-and-what-it-means-to-be-a-real-man\/","title":{"rendered":"A glorious fisking and what it means to be a real man"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh my heck, I just read the most glorious fisking of my life<\/a> over on Larry Correia’s blog. The subject is a New York Times article titled “27 Ways to be a Modern Man<\/a>” (is it just me or is the NY Times taking its cues from Buzzfeed?), and Larry pulls no punches. Glorious. Absolutely glorious.<\/p>\n

It got me thinking, though,\u00a0about what it means to be a real man. Jokes about meat and action movies aside, there seems to be a lot of confusion about the subject these days. It’s actually getting to be a serious problem with our society, as evidenced by the fact that a list as pathetic as Brian Lombardi’s can be taken seriously enough to be published in a major national newspaper.<\/p>\n

So without further ado, here’s my list:<\/p>\n

1) A real man provides for the needs of his family.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The traditional role of fathers is to provide, or to supply what is wanted or needed. There are many good reasons for this.\u00a0Families have needs, some of which women are uniquely suited to fulfill, others of which men are uniquely suited to fulfill. Individual circumstances necessitate adaptations, but a real man knows that his duty is to his family.<\/p>\n

A real man provides his family with shelter and security, with material support and protection. He makes his family feel safe, both from evil and from want. He provides them with love, with advice, with a positive example and role model for them to emulate. He provides his children with everything they need to grow up healthy and have families of their own.<\/p>\n

A real man is not an absent father\u2014unless, of course, the State steals his children from him and makes that impossible.\u00a0Misandry is a far greater problem in our society than misogyny, especially within family law, but that’s a subject for another time.<\/p>\n

2) A real man respects women and girls.<\/strong><\/p>\n

To respect\u00a0someone is to\u00a0regard them as being worthy of admiration because of good qualities, and to treat them in a proper way. A real man respects and values women, and treats them accordingly.<\/p>\n

He does not see them as objects for his lusts, but as human beings. He\u00a0recognizes the importance of their contributions to society, especially as wives and mothers, and helps them to feel wanted and appreciated.<\/p>\n

A real man\u00a0never lashes out at\u00a0or physically abuses a woman.\u00a0If a woman\u00a0abuses him, he does not abuse her back.<\/p>\n

3) A real man is someone that\u00a0others can depend on.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A real man is dependable. He keeps his promises. He does what he says he will do. He understands that people are depending on him: his spouse, his children, his family, his parents, brothers, sisters, and friends. Inasmuch as it is within his power, he does not disappoint them.<\/p>\n

4) A real man takes\u00a0care of himself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A real man understands that he cannot help others unless he first helps himself. For that reason, he strives for independence and self-reliance, so that he can better serve those who depend on him.<\/p>\n

A real man does not need to be mothered, especially not by his wife or girlfriend. He cleans up after himself. He showers and keeps himself clean. He knows how to do his own laundry. He knows how to clean his own dishes. He knows how to eat healthy and how to exercise. He knows how to manage his time.<\/p>\n

In short, a real man has his shit together. He may be a child at heart, but he is also a responsible adult.<\/p>\n

5) A real man knows how and when to lead.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A real man does not wait for his parents or his wife to tell him what to do. He does not leave the decision-making to other people when it’s his responsibility to step up and lead. He knows how to take charge when people are looking up to him, and how to inspire confidence in those who look to him for direction.<\/p>\n

Because he knows how to lead, he also knows how to follow. He does not his drag his feet or grumble about the tasks he’s assigned to do, but fulfills them to the best of his ability. He knows when to take charge, but he also knows when to step down. He\u00a0also knows when to get out of the way.<\/p>\n

6) A real man knows the difference between taste, quality, and value.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This was the biggest issue that I had with the NY Times article: 80% of the stuff on Lombardi’s list\u00a0were merely matters of personal taste. A real man understands that different people have\u00a0tastes that are different from his, and is perfectly willing to accept that. He does not condemn others for having “wrongfun.”<\/p>\n

That said, he\u00a0can also recognize quality and value. He understands that a $10 knockoff tool may, in the long-run, be more expensive than a well-made $50 tool. He knows how to use the right tool for the job, and how be efficient\u00a0and do quality work.<\/p>\n

7)\u00a0A real man\u00a0strives constantly to learn, grow, and improve.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

At the same time, a real man recognizes that he is not an expert in all fields. When out of his\u00a0area of expertise, he is able to admit what he does not know and to accept counsel from those who know more than him.<\/p>\n

Life is a process of constant growth. Just like a muscle will atrophy if it is not exercised, so too will our minds and spirits deteriorate if we do not constantly strive for self-improvement. A real man recognizes this and does all he can to be\u00a0a better man.<\/p>\n

8) A real man faces\u00a0his fears with courage.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Courage is not the absence of fear: it is the strength to overcome fear. The difference between heroes and cowards is often no more than the\u00a0decision to stand up and do. A real man understands this, and overcomes\u00a0his fears to do what is necessary. From the outside, he may appear fearless, but the truth is that he simply knows how to face his fears.<\/p>\n

9) A real man helps others\u00a0to achieve greatness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A real man is not interested in petty infighting\u00a0or drama. He does not keep score or hold grudges. He does not feel that he is diminished in any way by the achievements of others.\u00a0Instead, he inspires and lifts those around him, often without even realizing it. People\u00a0naturally look up to him, because he brings out the best in them.<\/p>\n

10) A real man’s greatness is\u00a0measured\u00a0by the way he treats those he loves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A real man is not overly concerned with titles or awards. He knows that greatness is not bestowed upon him by those in positions of authority, but is attributed to him according to how he treats those whom he loves.\u00a0Because of this, he has developed a tremendous capacity to serve his fellow men, and exercises that capacity daily.<\/p>\n

“Greater love hath no man than this: that\u00a0a man lay down his life for his friends.” That is the true measure of a man: how much he gives of himself. Some men\u00a0literally give everything, dying to serve and protect their loved ones. Others give their lives by living, giving freely of their time, talents, and love.<\/p>\n

Regardless, a real man does not live for himself alone. He always lives for others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh my heck, I just read the most glorious fisking of my life over on Larry Correia’s blog. The subject is a New York Times article titled “27 Ways to be a Modern Man” (is it just me or is the NY Times taking its cues from Buzzfeed?), and Larry pulls no punches. Glorious. Absolutely… Continue reading A glorious fisking and what it means to be a real man<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[405,520,599],"class_list":["post-10031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-larry-corriea","tag-manhood","tag-thoughts-reflections","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iXK-2BN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10031"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10031\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10035,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10031\/revisions\/10035"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onelowerlight.com\/writing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}