How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This is the book that invented the self-help genre, and for good reason. It was written more than 80 years ago and still stands as the definitive work on the subject. Unless you live in a cabin in the mountains where you never interact with other people, this book really is as important and life-changing as everyone says it is.

I bought this book at the urging of a friend way back in 2015, but I kept putting off actually reading it until now. I’m not entirely sure why I did. Maybe the titles were too clickbaity, or the language read like something from a sensationalist blog. Truth is, though, that Carnegie was the one who invented that kind of writing and everyone else is just trying to imitate him. And unlike your typical internet clickbait, there is actually a lot of substance behind the words.

I can summarize this book in one sentance: “To win friends and influence people, build them up and make them feel important.” There really isn’t any secret to it. The difficult part is learning how to do it and mastering the technique, for which it may take a lifetime of practice. I’ve heard that many billionaires make it a point to reread this book on a yearly basis.

This book is especially helpful if you struggle with social skills in any way. That alone should make it a must-read for most of us geeks, especially me.

Weird things happen whenever I decide to practice the advice in this book. I complimented a man on his hat, and he offered to give it to me. I gave the TSA officer a smile, and he let me pass through security without confiscating my >3 oz container of homemade fruit preserves from my cousin’s wedding. I told the cashier at the Creamery that I liked her braids, and her expression went from “I’m having a horrible day” to cheerful and happy.

It’s honestly a little freaky how well this advice works. If I’d read this book back in 2015, I may have even convinced my parents not to vote the way that they did. I certainly would have toned down the politics on this blog, and would probably have persuaded a lot more of you to see things the way I see them in the process.

So yeah, unless you’re alone on an interstellar voyage light-years from the nearest human being, this book is a must-read. And even if you are on that voyage, if there’s so much as a single other person on that starship, you definitely need to read this book.

By Joe Vasicek

Joe Vasicek is the author of more than twenty science fiction books, including the Star Wanderers and Sons of the Starfarers series. As a young man, he studied Arabic and traveled across the Middle East and the Caucasus. He claims Utah as his home.

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