Comments on: Trope Tuesday: A Man is Not a Virgin

By: Joe Vasicek

Joe Vasicek — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 05:58:39 +0000

Thanks for weighing in, guys. It’s good to hear about your experiences. I wish you all the best.

By: rainabba

rainabba — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:55:45 +0000

It’s nice to hear that woman (this reply largely assumes you’re not just a young, naive girl) still exist with such a view, all the more if you are an attractive woman who has had lots of opportunities to prove that dedication. I hope that the man of which you speaks will appreciate that about you when the day comes. In my younger days I trusted one good friend to another who though like you did and things didn’t end up well as a result, but that’s the risk. Maintaining that value gives YOU the potential benefit of a much deeper love than many of us will experience but it also leaves you more vulnerable. I’m on the other side of the fence, one this article was written to discuss and ironically, I didn’t intend to end up that way, but culture had its effect on me and combined with hormones, I didn’t stand a chance. The result is that sex doesn’t provide the connection with woman that it should. The saddest part is that it also protects me from the vulnerability you have which in turn reinforced my behavior before I fully understood the consequences which in the end is why you should stick to your path. You can’t truly know how bad the consequences are until it’s too late and there’s no going back.

By: nigma

nigma — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 09:30:11 +0000

Hi Joe,

I am a stranger to you and it is my first comment on your website so before commenting on the matter your article has discussed I just thought I would tell you a bit about myself. I have found your website through kindle forums (i am a new member there) and I really appreciate your love for writing. I am also thinking of a writing career but it is too difficult for me at the moment. I will need to work very hard. Anyways..

I really love your article and I am so glad to have read it.. I am very heart-broken on this issue. I am a woman and men that I speak to, even men who I deem highly intelligent, never find it rude to talk about how good a woman looks in bed and stuff like that. I do not know if they only talk about it or if they actually do it, but I just cannot understand how they see it as a virtue to date many women before actually decide which of them to marry. It is really rude and disgusting. And I can at least say that such men will never ever have me. I am a very loyal person even though I had many chances that they even could not dream about. I have great self control when it comes to matters of opposite sex. And I will wait until I am a hundred percent sure I am in love and will never leave my spouse.

By: YvonneS

YvonneS — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 22:20:25 +0000

Thanks Joe. It would be interesting to see a page with writings about the male teachers and stuff they have done along with the consequences.

By: Joe Vasicek

Joe Vasicek — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:55:14 +0000

Unfortunately, it is true. Female sex offenders range from women in their 20s to their 40s, and many of them receive significantly lighter sentences than their male counterparts:

http://www.lawfirms.com/female-teacher-sex-crime-offenders-and-scandals.html

By: YvonneS

YvonneS — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:27:48 +0000

Joe, I enjoyed reading this article. I expect that anyone who would talk to a person my age would find people who mostly agree with you. I think the idea of sexually active men being portrayed as single is a part of the general belief of the people who are reading most literature written for those who like Sci.Fi., YA, and any other kind of story aimed at youthful readers. It is my belief that this kind of writing is prevalent.

The problem I have with your writing is the following paragraph.
“We can see this trope in action in our modern American justice system. If a 30-something male teacher has sex with one of his female students, he gets a lengthy prison sentence and spends the rest of his life as a registered sex offender. If a 30-something female teacher has sex with one of her male students, she gets a slap on the wrist and therapy. She’s not a sexual predator–she’s just having a personal crisis.”

While some books might be written this way, this does not happen in real life. In real life female teachers who are most likely to be interested in sex with teen aged boys are not even close their 30s. It is my opinion that the belief that women are having a personal crisis and therefore not punishable is far from the truth. Hopefully this kind of behavior in the schools is seen as criminal in any kind of circumstances.

By: Joe Vasicek

Joe Vasicek — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 02:39:59 +0000

Hey thanks! I hope you enjoy it!

By: Joe Vasicek

Joe Vasicek — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:56:47 +0000

Dude, green olives + yoghurt + goat cheese + pita bread = best breakfast EVER.

By: Anneke Garcia

Anneke Garcia — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:49:39 +0000

Would you like to throw in any more ridiculous sweeping generalizations while you’re at it? Christians hate puppies! And ice cream!

Nothing in this article implied that sex was bad. Did you read it in its entirety? It was a very subtle, well-crafted and thoughtful response to a literary trend. Please give it at least that much respect if you’re going to bother to respond.

I’m a Christian who loves quite a few things that make life enjoyable, including sex and puppies. Ooh, and green olives. Green olives are lovely.

By: Anneke Garcia

Anneke Garcia — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:46:45 +0000

“That seems like a serious fault and so I can’t take your argument as a whole, seriously.”

That’s overstepping the bounds of critical discourse a bit. “I don’t like the way you presented this one minor point so I’m going to go ahead and just ignore everything else you said.”

Point out arguments that you think aren’t working by all means, but don’t use that as an excuse to ignore the rest of an article.