Though I agree, it sounds like your host parents love each other.

First off, it must be said that it doesn’t always lead to love, though. There are couples where the marriage is tolerated by the young woman and her family because if she were rescued by her father or her brothers, then she will be considered “used goods” and will never marry. Ever. So, it comes down to the question of “Do you want to marry in this life? This is your only chance.”

As for the love, it’s a variation on arranged marriages. You can grow to love anyone, no matter who they are or what they have done. Everyone has good in them, even the man who has hurt you. Women are actually quite good at looking for the good in others, finding it, and then latching onto it. It’s why many women remain in abusive relationships, actually. Despite all the bad, they can still see the good and cling to it.

Also, it’s worth noting that because bride-kidnapping is a tradition, it doesn’t make every man who kidnaps his bride a horribly bad person. It might just mean he doesn’t know how to date.

Also worth noting that in their culture, if you do date someone it generally means you’re going to marry them or everyone expects you will. Breaking up, then, is taken very hard, and I know a lot of men who become stalkers and harass the girl if she breaks up with him, simply because they don’t know how to take the rejection.

On the other hand, not all “kidnappings” are actually kidnapping. Georgian might be this way too, but in Armenian the word for “elope” and the word for “kidnap” are the same. Once, a girl was “kidnapped” and some of her male friends when they found out, actually did go after her to rescue her. But when they got there, they had to ask the question, “was it willing or not?” It was willing, so they returned home.

A lot of couples also “elope” because of one of two reasons. 1) The marriage license and especially the traditional ceremony to go along with it are both very expensive and they’re too poor to go through all the “hassle”. 2) Her parents didn’t or don’t approve; and since the woman comes to live with the man’s family, he’s the one who must rescue her from her family and she gets “kidnapped”.

So I’m not sure, but what you may be seeing is a version of elopement instead of kidnapping.

Or who knows? Maybe he turned out to be a genuinely good man, husband, and a father. No matter the circumstance of how you ended up together, you can’t help but admire and respect someone for who they’ve become, no matter the mistakes they’ve made in the past.